Fallen
by rockleah
Summary: Post-Season 8 Finale: Sam slips into a coma, Castiel is human and feeling guilty, Crowley goes from sad to sassy in one second flat, Kevin's translating the angel tablet to help fix everything, Dean's stuck helping everyone out while trying to keep his feelings toward Cas platonic, and Abaddon is up to something. Oh, nobody knows yet, but Gabriel is very much alive and powerless.
1. The Aftermath

_**Fallen**_

_**Chapter One: The Aftermath**_

The angels were falling from the sky in fireballs of light. _Beautiful_ if you didn't know what was happening. _Terrifying_ if you knew angels were being expelled from Heaven, falling from the sky only to become human. _And all of it was his fault_.

Castiel's new human form shot all different emotions at all the same time though him, and he didn't know what to do. Pain, sadness, anger—just some of the emotions that swept through him, leaving him confused and _tired_. He felt sick to his stomach, blood draining from his face and running cold to hot to cold again. His breathing was rough and labored and tears streamed from his face without any effort. His knees were weak and wobbly and Castiel buckled to the ground, head in hands.

"_What have I done?"_

His siblings were falling and becoming human. _He_ was human. He looked around to see trees and a field, wondering where he was, only to feel empty. Something was missing.

His head was full of blurry memories, and he tried desperately to remember. Metatron had obviously messed with his head, wanting him to create a family with a wife and kids. There was something inside of Castiel that stirred at the thought of family. Something wasn't right with the idea of a wife and kids.

"_Cas!_" A deep, gruff voice called for him in the recesses of his mind. So familiar, yet he can't place it.

"_We're family."_

Family. Yes, this man was his family.

"_We need you."_

This man and others—one other—are his family. They needed him.

"I_ need you_,"

These words echoed in his mind, the familiar voice keeping him grounded. He was needed. Someone needed him. The blur was starting to lift. A face—strong chin, stubble, long eyelashes, sandy brown hair, full lips, and piercing, beautiful green eyes— there was a name…

_Dean_.

_Metatron tried to make him forget Dean. And Sam._

He needed to get to Dean. Dean could help him, if he wasn't angry. Castiel was useless now, why would Dean need him? He was a _baby in a trench coat_. And all the things he did—how could Dean forgive him? Would Dean even take him in? Castiel felt a horrid sinking feeling in his gut and a burning in his heart at the thought. Human emotions _hurt_, and he did not miss being human.

"I _need you,"_

Did the words still ring truth?

He walked clumsily through the brush, fighting any amount of tears that threatened to spill over. He had to be strong, for himself and for Dean. It wasn't after a good ten minutes until he found a road and a small gas station with no one in sight, and walked inside to talk to the lone cashier.

"Excuse me, where am I?"

The young man at the cash register looked at him funny. "Lebanon, Kansas, sir. Just off the main highway,"

He wasn't as far away from Dean as he thought. "Thank you, may I use your phone?"

Castiel dialed the only number he knew by heart.

/

Dean watched in horror as the angels were falling. Sam was slipping, and Crowley was fucking _human_—or at least mostly human—and Cas was nowhere to be seen. Shit, this wasn't good.

First, he has to wonder where along the line he became his father because _Jesus Christ_ what a revelation he had received from Sam tonight. The thought of hurting Sam this much to the point he thought he was being _replaced_? That he was nothing more than someone to do what he was told and not fail him? Pretty much sums up the view of John Winchester Dean felt he had for _him_. And now Sam was feeling the same way. Well, if that didn't make Dean feel like shit. But with Sammy by his side, he felt like this was something they could easily overcome, maybe soon if Sam didn't pass out on the spot.

And then there was Cas. What if Castiel was one of those fireballs in the sky? _Dammit_. He hoped to God (_really?_) that Cas was alright. That he wasn't burning up in the sky. But if he wasn't, where was he? Did Metatron kill him? If he's still alive, would he be okay? Especially with everything that he'd done—now there may be_ more_ guilt on Castiel's shoulders.

"_I deserved to die…"_

"…_I may kill myself,"_

Dean was basically panicking now. Panicking, but making an effort to keep calm because he needed to think straight in this fucking _shit_ of a situation. Why did this kind of crap always happen to them? _Jesus Christ._ _Who the fuck decided the Winchesters and everyone they love have to be miserable?_ _It was that fucking mirror shit with Bloody Mary wasn't it? Breaking all the mirrors and their bad luck. Okay, gotta concentrate…_

"You should find Cas," Sam rasped, "he's in danger,"

"That's my second thought. Sam, you gotta stay with me. You're first priority here,"

"Dean, I'll be fine. I think. I feel, interesting. Good, even. Just—Crowley—help him. He wants to be forgiven…"

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me, Sam,"

"Please Dean, while I was curing him—his mental state—fucked up—just…trust me…"

"I trust you, Sammy. You know that,"

"Then please…" Sam trailed off, eyes closing, breathing becoming thin and even.

"I will okay Sam? _Sam_?" Sam let out a final sigh of relief and went limp, and Dean was starting to let his panic show. "No, no, no, no, Sam! Sammy! Dammit, Sam!"

He was breathing, but he was unconscious,_ sleeping_. Dean sighed to collect himself and put his huge brother to rest in the back seat of the Impala and went inside of the abandoned church.

"Crowley?"

"Dean Winchester? Oh God, what I did to you! What I _wanted_ to do to you! Dean, Dean, please, forgive me, forgive me," Crowley was crying now, sobbing and begging for forgiveness.

"My brother wants me to save you," Dean began, though unsure, to release Crowley.

"Really? Oh, bless him. Bless Sam! I knew he was my Marnie,"

"Your—_what_ now? Never mind, just—when I release you, no funny business,"

"Of course not,"

"Are you gonna like, leave or whatever?"

"I don't have anywhere to go, I can barely do anything demonic anymore. The only thing I could probably do is telekinesis,"

Dean gave Crowley a skeptical look. "Okay, how do I know you're telling the truth?"

"You don't. I mean, I can't prove it to you. You'll just have to trust me,"

Dean groaned and released Crowley completely of his bonds and smudged the devil's trap.

"Thank you so much, Dean,"

"Yeah, yeah, let's go,"

"What?"

"Let's _go_,"

"You're taking me with you?"

"You gotta thank Sam for that, too. I really don't want you coming with us, but I can't leave you here."

"I really don't deserve—"

"Can it, okay? Save that routine for later. Let's just get outta here,"

Dean was in complete disbelief as he was driving the car with fucking _Crowley_ sitting shotgun and Sam passed out like a tranquillized moose in the backseat. _God,_ was he relieved when they reached the batcave.

"Okay, wait in the damn car and look out for Sam, I gotta explain this shit to Kevin,"

Crowley nodded.

Dean knocked on the bunker door. "Kevin? You there?"

Kevin opened the door. "Dean! There's these lights going off, red dots on the map with sirens and everything. What the hell is going on?"

"Angels, they're falling from Heaven. Apparently, some trials were completed or something. I haven't heard from Cas, yet. Sam almost finished purifying Crowley, but he would've died. I wasn't going to let Sam die. Now he's out cold and Crowley's in the car,"

"Oh my God, this is some deep shit."

"You're telling me,"

"But _Crowley_? You brought Crowley here? Why would you do that, Dean? He broke my girlfriend's neck and killed my mom!" Kevin yelled.

Dean converted his groan into a sigh. "He's useless! He has nowhere else to go and I promised Sam,"

"Sam wanted to_ help_ Crowley?"

"He was making him human again! Sam injected his _blood_ into him. Kevin, just suck it up and you'll see. Crowley will take one look at you and cry his eyes out. Now you and Crowley are gonna help me carry Sam to his bed,"

Kevin huffed and followed Dean back to the car. Just like Dean said, upon seeing Kevin, Crowley began sobbing.

"Kevin! Oh Kevin Tran, poor Kevin Tran! What did I do? _Why_? Forgive me!"

Kevin gave Crowley a confused look and sighed.

"Crowley, you just gonna sit there or are you gonna help us carry sack of potatoes here?"

The three of them were able to get Sam onto his bed, though through much struggle and Dean's frustrated yelling.

"How long you think he'll be out?" Kevin asked.

"I have no idea, and it kinda scares me," Dean swallowed.

"He shouldn't be comatose for too long,"

"_Comatose_?"

Kevin nodded. "It's the only plausible answer,"

"So what? His body is healing itself from the trials?"

"Possibly,"

"Shit," Dean turned to Crowley. "Alright, I guess you get a room, too,"

"Really? I could just stay in a locked cell if you have one and find my way in the morning—"

"No way man, not until Sammy wakes up. He told me to help you. You're definitely self-destructive right now. I mean, no snarky comments? Come on, man. You gotta get back in the groove,"

Crowley nodded and followed Dean. "I don't want to be the King of Hell, not that I can be anymore,"

Dean snorted, "Yeah, I'll bet. Here, this is your room,"

"Thank you, Dean."

"God, I'm like some sort of supernatural caretaker now. You're gonna need clothes and we're gonna need to buy more food—I'm fucking _super nanny_."

"If it makes you feel better, I'm forever grateful and would gladly go on milk runs,"

Dean's phone rings. Only one person could possibly be calling right now. He takes it out of his pocket quickly, nearly dropping it, and answers with a worried tone. "Cas?"

"Hello Dean,"

Castiel's voice is weak and plagued with fatigue, but Dean is relieved that he is alright. Or at least, _alive_. He was not losing Cas again. "Are you okay?"

"I'm—_human_,"

"Where are you?"

"A gas station in Lebanon, Kansas off the main highway,"

"Okay, stay there, I'm not too far. I'm coming to get you,"

"Dean, you don't have to—"

"Of course I do! I ain't leaving you, not this time. I'm not losing you again,"

Castiel sighed, "Alright,"

"See ya in a bit," Dean hung up. "Okay, I'll be back. No funny business you two. Kevin, get Crowley some pajamas from Sam's clothes and keep an eye on him. Crowley, don't mess with anything and try not to test out any remaining demonic powers. I shouldn't be too long, but call me if anything happens with Sam,"

"Okay," Kevin groaned.

"Yes mother," Crowley smirked. His demeanor completely changed somehow. Dean figured it was the remaining demon in him. He was still sassy, that's for sure.

Dean rolled his eyes. He was actually sounding like a parent and it gave him the creeps.

After Dean left, Crowley turned to Kevin. "I truly am sorry,"

"Yeah, will sorry bring my girlfriend back? Or my mom?" Kevin went into Sam's drawers and looked for some clothes.

"Your mom isn't dead, Kevin,"

"What? Then why did you—"

"I was evil, Kevin. I was trying to manipulate you,"

"Where is she?"

"Where she's always been,"

Kevin sighed in relief and gave Crowley the clothes. "Thanks, then,"

**So tell me what you think! This is the first Supernatural fic that I plan to make pretty long. I tend to write in the style of the show. I like to write the interactions between the characters, so there's a lot of dialogue. I'm especially excited with Crowley, it's going to get funny and interesting ;) **

**~rockleah**

_**(Note: This is going to be Destiel with eventual Sabriel) **_


	2. Close of a Long Day

**Fallen**

**Chapter Two: Close of a Long Day**

Dean drove recklessly fast toward the gas station he knew Cas was. A million thoughts racing through his mind, it was a wonder he was on the right side of the road. Cas was human—he could've figured that much—but what exactly _happened_? He was mostly worried how Cas would feel about all of this. First Sam, and now Cas? Was he actually going to be the one that doesn't hate himself in all this? Him, Dean _everyone-I-love-dies _Winchester? Maybe they needed to go a couple rounds in Purgatory to straighten their thoughts. It sure as hell helped him. _Snap out of it._ He needed to think about Cas. Cas, his best friend. Cas, the angel he searched the better part of a year for in Purgatory. Cas, who he absolutely loved having around and pissed when he wasn't around. The only other person he'd die for besides Sam.

And Dean smiled thinking about all this, smiled like a teenage girl thinking about her crush because that's exactly what it was. He figured it out in Purgatory, but that didn't make it any less unknown and scary. Cas called him, Cas needed his help, Cas turned to him, so Dean was going to do the damn best he could helping him through this mess.

"_I can't fail, not this time…"_

_Shit_. Cas wasn't going to be rainbows and smiles, that for sure.

Dean arrived to find Castiel waiting patiently near the road, and got out to talk to him. The million thoughts ran through his mind again and many questions he wanted to ask, but he needed to make sure Cas was okay.

"You alright?"

Cas's jaw was rigid and his eyes were rimmed red from tears that threatened to spill over. Despite all this, he nodded.

"What happened?"

"I—Metatron used my grace. To complete the spell,"

"Is that what it was, a spell?"

Castiel nodded. "A spell that casts all angels out of heaven,"

"Shit, _Metatron_ did this? The fucking son of a bi—" Dean drew a hand over his face and willed himself to calm down. Cas didn't need him to be angry at anything right now. "So how did Metatron get your grace?"

Castiel winced at the question and swallowed at the memory. "He trapped me as I appeared. He killed Naomi—I saw her stabbed through the neck. He slit my throat open and my grace was sucked into a vile. I thought he was going to kill me, but he healed me and placed me safely on Earth,"

"He slit your throat?" Dean blinked excessively as he willed himself to keep his composure.

Cas sighed. "Yes, and he tried to erase my past memories with you,"

"He tried to make you forget us?"

"_You _specifically,"

"Christ—but why _your_ grace? Why couldn't he have used another angel's grace—like Naomi's? He killed her,"

"It's possible it was because I was helping him complete the spell,"

"No, spells don't work like that do they?"

"In any case, Metatron was the one who killed the Nephilim,"

"Nephilim?"

"The product of an angel and a human,"

Dean didn't want to think about the implications of that statement. Or the fact that the spell had pretty sketchy ingredients he was starting to put together—kill a Nephilim, a product of an angel and a human, a cupid's bow, and then Castiel's grace? Dean wasn't stupid, it had to be connected somehow and he really didn't want to dive into that territory. Though it may help clear his mind.

"Right, but you're _okay_? After all of this?" Dean looked at Cas expectedly.

Castiel nodded.

Dean sighed. He was obviously_ not _okay, but Dean thought that Cas would talk when he was ready. He didn't press the issue any further and directed Cas into the front seat.

"Alotta shit has happened, man. Sam's in a coma-state, and before he slipped under he wanted me to take in Crowley. He's mostly human now, and still a sass, somehow."

"How is he?"

"Self-loathing, mostly. The least we can do is forgive him,"

"How is Kevin with Crowley there?"

Dean snorted. "He's a bit on edge, but he sees that Crowley's different now,"

Castiel nodded. "Does he still have his demonic—_mojo_?"

Dean smirked at Cas's work choice. "I dunno, he didn't try anything. I told him not to. He says he just has telekinesis,"

"Can he uh, 'smoke out' as you say?"

"No, he's too human, probably like how Sam is—human with demon blood. Not the King of Hell anymore, that's for sure. I'm pretty sure Abaddon has taken over by now,"

"The _Knight_? I thought they were all dead,"

"Well, she survived. Long story—but she time traveled from the 50s to now and we stopped her by cutting her into pieces, but we put'em back together for the final trial and it's our fault she's still out there,"

"This isn't good,"

Dean sighed. "When is anything _good_ with us, Cas?"

Castiel nodded. "How are you going to provide for all of us?"

"I really don't know, Cas, I'm gonna have to be super nanny,"

Castiel squinted and cocked his head.

Dean rolled his eyes and chuckled. "It's like I'm taking care of four freakin' supernatural children,"

Castiel huffed. "I am not a child,"

Dean laughed. "I know, Cas. It's a joke,"

Dean and Castiel had returned to the bunker rather quickly. When Dean was about to open the door, he couldn't ignore Castiel's mood. It wasn't fair if he just ignored how his best friend was feeling, especially after viewing his brothers and sisters falling from Heaven.

"Are you sure you're okay, man? You can't just bottle everything up. Trust me, I have first-hand experience," Dean looked at Cas, and once Cas met his gaze, he burst into tears.

"Hey, Cas, it's okay," Dean put a hand on Castiel's shoulder as he shook.

"All of this is my fault!"

Dean felt a horrible sinking feeling in his chest as Cas said that. Sure, Dean did tell him to stay, but Dean wasn't going to hold it against him. Not now of all times. Dean pulled Cas into a hug and let him cry on his shoulder, his hands grabbing onto Dean's T-shirt. He knew Cas was going to be upset, and he needed to be held. Dean held him like he would hold Sam when he was younger, rubbing his back and saying "Shh" every now and then.

"Shh, Cas, don't say that, don't—"

"No, Dean! This is my fault! I failed Heaven—failed Heaven _twice_. I trust the wrong people, I don't trust the people I need to trust, I make wrong decisions—and worst of all, I failed _you_,"

"Cas, I trusted Metatron, too. I helped you complete the second trial. Don't take it all for yourself. And you did _not_ fail me,"

"I should've stayed with you. I should've _always_ stayed with you. I should've listened to you—listened to Naomi,"

"How could you listen to Naomi? She tried to make you kill me. Of course you wouldn't trust her,"

"Dean, if you look at the facts—"

"No, Cas! Those aren't _facts_. Look at me," Dean pulled Cas out of the hug, hands on his shoulders, and made eye contact. "This is not your fault. You can't blame yourself. I've been there and believe me, taking the fall for everything only destroys you. The one responsible is Metatron. He wanted this, not you. You did the best you could and what you thought was right for your home. We still have the angel tablet and Kevin, we can fix this. For all we know, it could say how to reverse this,"

Castiel wiped his eyes. He couldn't believe it. Dean was comforting him in a way he's only ever seen him do with Sam. Dean cared enough for him, but how was he going to repay him? "My brothers and sisters—the rest of them—"

"We'll figure it out, Cas. We always do,"

"How are they going to live? It was hard enough for me the first time I fell and I was stationed on Earth for thousands of years,"

Dean tapped Castiel's shoulder. "I wish I knew what to do, Cas. If you want, we could take them in. Then I'd be super nanny for sure. And we'd have a lot of clothes shopping to do. I already sound like a housewife,"

Cas smiled slightly. "Thank you, Dean,"

"Come on inside then," Dean let go of Cas's shoulders and opened the door, and they headed inside.

"I'm sorry I can't be much use to you in this state, Dean. I'm a—_baby in a trench coat_,"

Dean chuckled at the memory. "Come on, Cas! You remembered that, but not that I'd rather have you—cursed or not? You're family and I need _you_,"

Castiel smiled. Dean always had that effect on him, the happiness that seeped through him and now the odd fluttering of the heart and churning of the stomach that came with his human emotions. It felt as if he was flushing in the cheeks. Could he control such reactions? "Thank you, Dean,"

"No need to thank me, but hey—I'll teach you everything I know. You'll be a hunter in no time. You still wanna be a hunter, right?"

"You'd do that for me?"

"'Course Cas, I don't want you left out,"

"I hope I won't be a burden,"

"No, family is never a burden. Come on, I'll show you to your room. I can give you some old clothes of mine. You can't sleep in what you're wearing,"

"Thank you, Dean. I'm really grateful,"

"Don't mention it Cas." Dean walked with Cas in tow toward the corridor with bedrooms. "Here, this is your bedroom. Mine's next door, if you need anything, just knock,"

"May I see your room?"

"Sure, but why?"

Castiel looked away. "You seemed excited about it before, and I wanted to see the last time I was here, but you were angry—"

Dean nodded in understanding. "Yeah, come on, Cas, I gotta get you some clothes anyway," Dean led Cas into his room. "Nothing much, really, but it's awesome to have something to call my own,"

Castiel observed the desk, the records, the weapons wall, and the picture next to his bed on the nightstand as Dean gathered some clothes for him. "This is you and your mother,"

"Yeah,"

"She's beautiful, I always thought so. I don't believe I told you. You look like her," Cas smiled and turned to Dean.

"Yeah? No one's ever said that, well, not that I can remember," Dean smiled and rubbed his neck.

"This is where all your prayers came from," Cas stated sadly. He had heard them, but did not answer. He_ had_ failed Dean.

Dean nodded. "Uh, yeah. It's in the past, you're here now and that's what matters. Come on, you should get some sleep,"

"Actually, I'm rather hungry, if you don't mind,"

"Nah, we got some food after Kevin was going to stay with us,"

"I did get you some groceries while you were out—"

"Whaddya mean, Cas?"

"I got you your favorite beer, Busty Asian Beauties, they were out of pie—"

"Wait, hold on. You got me _porn_?"

"I was trying to show you how sorry I was,"

Dean shook his head. "Cas, I was mad because you kept leaving me. I had no right—"

"I left to protect you, Dean,"

Dean sighed. "It doesn't matter. Thanks for trying to get me pie,"

"You're very welcome,"

"So, let's make some grub, huh?"

Castiel nodded. "Can you teach me how to prepare my meal?"

"Sure Cas. First here—" Dean handed Cas a black T-shirt and grey sweatpants from his drawer. "—put these on,"

Castiel began to take off his trench coat.

Dean gulped. "Uh, Cas? You have your own room to do that in,"

"Right, my apologies. I'll go to my room,"

"I'll be in the kitchen,"

Castiel dressed quickly and headed to the kitchen. He felt nice in the change of clothes, cooler and cleaner, which wasn't a big surprise after wearing the same outfit for years. He also smelled the shirt deeply when he put it on, something that he didn't really understand, but it smelled good. It smelled like Dean—gunpowder, leather, and slight sweat covered by cheap soap—and it comforted him in some way.

When he entered the kitchen, he noticed it had a couple of counters and cupboards, a cabinet, a stove, a refrigerator, and a pantry. There was also a countertop table with barstool-type chairs. Dean had just taken out a package of meat to join a slice of cheese and a bag of shredded lettuce.

"Can I be of assistance?"

"Yeah, Cas, I just took out everything we need. I'll teach you how to cook a burger," Dean turned then, and saw Castiel in his clothes. The look of Cas in so little clothing made Dean jump a bit, and he was flushing. It made him look smaller than he was, though he fit the clothes well. Then he notices Cas's shirt is on backwards. "Uh, Cas, your shirt is on backwards,"

"My apologies," Castiel takes off his shirt and switches it.

Dean watches and curses himself at the fast heartbeat he gets while watching. The sight of Cas's chest made Dean lick his lips involuntarily. His chest was nicely toned and fit. Dean was panicking, realizing he was checking out a _dude_ and not just any dude but _Cas_ and actually likes what he sees. Well, it wouldn't be the first time he's checked Cas out, but it's sure the first time he's checked out his _bare chest_. He wondered if it was just Cas who had this effect on him and if he could ever check out other guys' chests. He shuddered at the thought.

"Dean?"

Dean blinked out of his thoughts, flinching a bit. "Huh? Oh, yeah Cas?"

"What do I do first?"

"Right, you uh, prep the meat. Just uh, take the salt and pepper and put a little shake on it,"

Cas carefully picked up the salt and did one shake and the same with the pepper. "Good?"

"You can do better than that," Dean chuckled and took the pepper from Cas's hand, shaking on a bit more, specially seasoning it for him.

Castiel squinted. "What is the purpose of more seasoning?"

"It makes it taste good. Now let's prepare the grill," Dean placed a grilling pan from one of the cupboards onto the stove and turned up the heat. "Place it on medium high,"

Castiel nodded as Dean took a flat instrument and handed it to him. "What is it?"

"It's a spatula to flip your burger. I'll put it on the grill,"

"No Dean, I want to do that. I need to learn,"

"Alright, pick it up and place it on the grill. Don't burn yourself,"

Castiel did as Dean asked and didn't burn himself. "Now what?"

"Wait until you see the corners start to brown and then flip it,"

"Okay,"

Dean grabbed a bun, placed it open on a plate, and set it next to Cas.

"Dean, I think it's happening,"

"Okay, flip it,"

"How?"

"Get the spatula underneath the burger,"

Castiel held the spatula upside down and began trying to flip the burger.

Dean laughed. "Here, you're gonna burn it," Dean placed his hand over Cas's, standing behind him, and helped him flip the burger. And totally _not_ thinking about touching Cas and being so close to him. _Not at all_. "Now wait until the sizzling slows down and put it on the plate I set over there,"

"Yes, thank you, Dean," Castiel was startled by the touch, but it was pleasant, like electricity and heat, and made Castiel's heart flutter. He wished to do it again.

Castiel noticed the slowing sizzling and picked up the burger with the spatula right this time and placed it on the bun on his plate.

Dean smiled and turned off the stove. "Good, now put what you want on it. There's cheese and shredded lettuce, we don't have much else,"

"Then I shall have both," Castiel put the lettuce first and then the cheese before the top bun, earning a fond smile from Dean, who thought it was adorable.

"Okay, go ahead and eat. You can sit at the counter,"

Castiel nodded and sat at the counter as Dean began putting the meat and lettuce away. Castiel noticed how hungry he was as he held the burger in his hands. He took a careful, gentle bite, chewed thoroughly, and swallowed. Then he noticed Dean looking at him, waiting for an answer.

"It's delicious,"

"The seasoning is all me," Dean grinned. He really loved the sight of Castiel eating, and was nearly _swooning _over it. Like a fucking _girl_.

Castiel returned a small smile and continued to eat, chewing each bite thoroughly before swallowing. Dean proceeded to pour him a glass of water and set it next to him, which Castiel nodded as a thank you. Dean continued to watch him, and it was making him feel uncomfortable for some reason.

"Dean, why are you staring at me?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry, Cas. It's just—you don't normally eat, and it's kinda funny to watch,"

"Oh, but I don't understand. Why does your gaze feel unsettling?"

"Now you know how I felt,"

Castiel frowned. "That doesn't answer my question, Dean. I've been getting interesting feelings around you."

Dean's heart skipped a beat, throat suddenly dry. "Like what?"

"I don't know. It's hard to explain. I just know I'm very happy in your presence,"

Dean smiled. "Oh, well I'm happy in your presence, too,"

Castiel smiled back, extremely delighted by the response, and continued eating. "You can watch me eat, if you like," he said shyly.

Dean laughed. He wanted to call Cas adorable, but that was bordering on something _more_, and that wasn't in Dean's plans for tonight at all. Instead, he just watched Cas eat until he finished.

"Alright Cas, time for bed. You need to sleep,"

"I don't know if I can, Dean. It'll take some getting used to,"

"Just try to get at least four hours in, okay? I have to check on the other—_kids_,"

Castiel nodded. "I'll try,"

"Good," Dean walked Cas to his room and was headed to Kevin's before bumping into him in the corridor.

"Oh, your back," Kevin said.

"Yeah, how's Crowley?"

"I asked if he was hungry, but he didn't want anything. He's in his room,"

"Okay. How are _you_?"

"Me? I'm fine,"

"Come on, with Crowley here? You don't seem fine,"

Kevin sighed. "Okay, it bothers me a little. You know what he did to me. But he said my mom's alive, so that's one less thing to be bitter for. I guess I'm gonna have to move on and forgive him,"

Dean nodded. "I'm sorry we're gonna ask you to translate the angel tablet. I mean, Cas is beating himself up over this. We need to find out if we can reverse this or something,"

Kevin sighed. "I know, and don't worry about it. I am a prophet of the Lord, it's my job,"

"Thanks, man. I'm gonna check on Crowley," Dean walked toward the room he gave the sort-of-demon and knocked.

Crowley opened the door. "Your back,"

"Yeah, I was wondering how you were,"

"I'm okay, I guess. I just hope Sam's okay,"

"You and me both. Okay, just remember, if you need anything, I'm down the hall, Cas is here, too. And don't be afraid to go to Kevin, either. We're all gonna have to stick together,"

"Right, thank you,"

"Try to sleep,"

"Yes,"

"And remember, you were a demon. You can't expect to have done anything but evil. Try not to beat yourself up over things you did,"

Crowley nodded, eyes downcast before he shut his door.

Lastly, Dean went into Sam's room, where he lay unconscious. He sighed at the sight, and couldn't help but feel thankful that nobody was dead or separated from each other. Isn't that how this shit always ended? Maybe the curse was broken.

"Hang in there Sammy, you're gonna be alright," Dean shook his head, "Or you better be or I'll kick your ass,"

Dean sighed and went to his room to finally collapse on his bed. _What a long day_.


	3. Sleepless Nights

_**Fallen**_

_**Chapter Three: Sleepless Nights**_

Castiel went into his room, much to his dismay. He knew it was going to be hard to sleep, but what he didn't know was _how_ hard. He slipped under the covers and tried to close his eyes and drift off, only to be awakened by horrifying images filling his head. Vivid dreams about all the things he's done—becoming God, killing innocent people, killing his brothers and sisters in Heaven, purgatory, killing Dean thousands of times by order of Naomi, almost killing Dean in the crypt, and the angels falling—appeared every time he drifted into unconsciousness. He spent most of his night tossing and turning, trying to stay awake. Every time he drifted off he dreamt of one of those memories one way or another, waking up in a cold sweat, heart racing, gasping for air that he didn't need and tears in his eyes.

The worst was when he dreamt of killing Dean. It wasn't a fake Dean he was killing that Naomi conjured up, but his Dean. They would be back in the crypt, and Castiel would be beating him over and over while Dean pleaded with him, while he told Castiel that he was family and was needed and Dean needed him. This time, he didn't break free. He had taken his blade, plunged it through Dean's heart, and watched as the life was drained from his eyes. Castiel would immediately wake up in a cold sweat with tears running down his face in a silent horror. He had this dream the most, and it got more detailed each time, more strung out with Dean killed in different ways—just like with the thousand fake ones Naomi produced.

He was relieved when the sun rose in the morning and he could cease his struggle with sleep. He peered into Dean's room to see him still asleep, and went back into his room where he found a pair of jeans and a plaid shirt for him to wear. He changed and walked toward the library to read. He was in the middle of a book when Dean woke up, looking for him.

"Cas?"

"Good morning, Dean," Cas faced Dean.

"Morning Cas, how long you been up?"

"Since sunrise,"

"Really? Did you sleep well?"

"Not particularly,"

"Yeah, it'll take some getting used to. If you can't sleep, Cas, let me know,"

"I only slept a little last night, Dean. I shouldn't disrupt your four hours,"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Cas, forget about disrupting me. We're talking about _you_ 'cause I'm gonna take care of you whether you like it or not,"

Castiel nodded, still not thinking about telling Dean about his nightmares. He wasn't going to admit more weaknesses to Dean, not after being so useless now. Dean had to teach him everything and he had nightmares like a child. He should be able to deal with them himself as an adult and Dean shouldn't have to worry about it. But how long could he go with so little sleep?

Dean grinned as he noticed Cas didn't button his shirt right, the buttons were askew in the wrong holes. "Cas, your shirt—"

He sighed. "I don't seem to be particularly good at dressing myself,"

Dean laughed. "No kidding. Here, I'll do it,"

Dean carefully unbuttoned Cas's shirt, and began to button it back up. He was really close to Cas, and kept his concentration on the shirt, and not the fact that his fingers sometimes brushed against the skin of Castiel's chest or that Castiel's breathing seemed to hitch every time it happened.

Castiel felt his heart flutter and his heartbeat increase with every accidental brush of Dean's fingers on his skin. He couldn't take his gaze away from Dean's face and watched him intently as he finished buttoning and fixed the collar.

"There," Dean smiled, meeting Cas's eyes again.

Castiel felt himself blush at the sight of Dean's green eyes meeting his. Why did he never tell Dean he was so beautiful? Would he make Dean uncomfortable if he said so now? "Thank you," he breathed.

Dean cleared his throat, a bit flustered at the sight of Castiel's reddened cheeks. _Human reactions: Cas didn't know about them. It was just embarrassment. _"Now come on, I'm gonna teach you how to make eggs. We'll have the whole gang for breakfast,"

After a successful lesson in making eggs and toast, Cas helped Dean set the table for four and Dean made sure to get Kevin and Crowley down for breakfast. Castiel waited until Dean returned with Kevin and Crowley close behind to sit. Dean sat down and Castiel sat next to him, even though the table is rather large and he could sit anywhere. He wanted to be near Dean. Kevin and Crowley took seats at the opposite end of the table, sitting further apart than Cas and Dean.

"It is good to see you again Kevin," Castiel turned to Crowley, who was staring at him. "And I forgive you,"

Crowley began to wipe at his eyes. "Thank you Castiel, I know what I did was horrible and—"

"No need, forgiveness is a road to new beginnings, we all are starting anew," Castiel continued to eat, looking at Dean every now and then. Somehow, his comment to Crowley helped him get more sassiness back.

"Castiel, are you used to being human yet?"

"Not at all, I'm still trying to grasp many—"

"Emotions?"

"Well, yes—"

Crowley smirked. "Oh, so you don't know why you keep looking at Dean and blushing like a school girl?"

Castiel head tilt #9.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Crowley, leave Cas alone. He's _not_ doing that,"

Kevin looked at them and raised his eyebrows.

Crowley gave a mischievous smirk. "Dean can explain it to you, right Dean?"

Dean began to blush. "_Crowley_,"

"Can you Dean? What is Crowley referring to?"

"Cas, Crowley's lying. You gotta figure this stuff out for yourself. It's better that way," he turned to Crowley, "And you. You're still the same sassy fucker aren't you?"

Kevin laughed. "He had a point though, Cas was—"

"Can it, prophet,"

Kevin laughed more. "Oh my God, you _know_ don't you,"

"Kevin—"

"And you _like_ it! You, Dean Winchester!"

"That's enough!" Dean was really flustered and embarrassed.

"There's no shame in it, Dean," Crowley added.

"Dean, what are they talking about?"

"They're teasing us, Cas,"

"Why?"

"Because you keep staring at me,"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I've upset you—"

"No!"

"But you're angry,"

"No, just a bit irritated, and at them,"

"Look at you two, like a married couple!" Crowley chuckled.

Dean groaned.

Castiel was particularly pleased at the notion. He loves Dean and always had, but he never told Dean he loved him, and now the thought of it made him panic. Now with the human emotions in play, there was more to it. As an angel, Castiel wouldn't have any blushing or heart fluttering when Dean was near. It was easy to pick out his feelings for Dean, and he accepted them, but he never voiced them. Even if he felt he had a right to voice them, as an angel, it would be frowned upon by Heaven if he were to interact in a more than friendly manner with Dean. Now it was actually possible, but he didn't want to tell Dean he loved him. He didn't have the right, not after everything. Especially not after leaving Dean and failing Heaven.

"See? Cas is smiling after mentioning you guys being married," Crowley grinned.

"Dammit, I wish Sam was here," Dean grumbled.

"Moose? He would join in. I bet he's known this whole time,"

Cas looked puzzled. "What does Sam know?"

"That Dean—"

"_Crowley_!"

"Fine, you two can sort it out yourselves,"

Dean rolled his eyes. Crowley would be more difficult than he thought.

Kevin was laughing now and Dean glared. "What's so funny?"

"It all makes sense now. I thought you guys were just really close friends but—"

"Shut it, Kevin!"

"Dean, you shouldn't be so angry with them," Cas scolded.

"Yeah, Dean. Listen to your boyfriend," Crowley added.

Dean groaned. This was _not_ happening. He began to eat faster now.

"But Dean and I are friends, boyfriend implies romantic involvement and we have none of that,"

"Yet," Kevin coughed.

Dean glared as he scarfed down the rest of his breakfast. He left the table in a rush, receiving a disappointed look from Cas following his movements out.

Crowley waited until Dean was in the kitchen to speak. "You do love Dean, don't you?"

Castiel turned red. "I—I believe so,"

Crowley smiled gentler. "I gathered that much from the time working with you. But you know what? You're gonna have to get Dean to come around. He's probably stuck in his manly little world, afraid of _feelings_. But if I know you, you can get it out of him. You'll make him unafraid,"

Castiel nodded and took the advice to heart, though he still felt undeserving of Dean's affection. "Thank you, Crowley,"

"You're welcome,"

After a shower, Dean found Cas in the library reading again. He thought it was time to teach Cas about showering and showers. He couldn't let Cas walk around stinky and dirty. Not that he was imagining Cas taking a shower or anything while he was in the shower himself, that was just wrong and not to mention rude, though it's a funny thought.

"Cas, you need to learn to shower every day,"

"That's right, humans get dirty,"

"Okay, c'mon, let me teach you how to work it,"

Castiel followed Dean to the bathroom.

"Don't ever get into the shower with clothes on," is the first thing he says because he could imagine Cas doing something hilarious like that.

Castiel nodded. "Of course,"

Dean began explaining the simplicity of working a shower and turned to Cas after letting the warm water run to see him shirtless, and taking off his jeans.

"Whoa! Whoa! Cas, wait until I'm not here to start undressing!"

"My apologies Dean," Cas stood there in nothing but boxers.

Dean gulped as he did a once over of Cas's body. And his eyes did _not _linger around the boxers._ Shit._ "Be careful and don't slip. And uh, wash all over with soap except your hair. The soap is slippery so don't grip it too hard and close your eyes when you wash your hair,"

"Thank you, Dean."

"I'll leave you to it," Dean closed the door. What the fuck was he thinking? He couldn't shake the image of an almost naked Cas out of his head. And his head was taking things to another place and Dean wasn't ready to imagine _that_. But he already had._ This wasn't happening_.

/

**Thanks for reading and all who reviewed! I give you this short and sweet chapter to make up for what's coming next. Isn't Crowley just awesome with the teasing? This isn't the end of it either ;)**

**And do you guys like flustered!Dean? Because I LOVE to embarrass him, so expect some of that!**


	4. Drunk

_**Fallen**_

_**Chapter Four: Drunk**_

It had been a day, and Sam was still comatose. Dean was really worried and wished he knew what the hell was going on with his little brother and how to help him, but he was useless now. He sat at the edge of Sam's bed when Cas found him.

"Thought you'd be in here," Cas approached the bed and looked at Sam, "his condition is unchanged?"

Dean nodded and turned to him.

Castiel sighed. "I'm sorry I can't help you. If I was an angel—"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Come on, Cas, stop being so hard on yourself,"

"But I could've helped Sam by now,"

Dean sighed. "It doesn't matter, Cas,"

"It does matter because you love Sam and I can't help you heal him,"

"Do you think that's all your worth to me? Even after all this time? Have I treated you that way?" Dean trailed off and looked away from Cas.

Castiel stayed quiet.

Dean stood up. "Dammit Cas! How many times do I have to say it? I said it three freakin' times already. _I need you_,"

He looked at Dean curiously and saw his weary expression. He had hurt his feelings. Castiel gave Dean an awkward hug. "I'm sorry,"

Dean smiled and patted him on the back. "And stop apologizing, you're already forgiven,"

"Sor—Okay,"

/

Sam may have been unconscious, but he could still feel the trials' effect drain from his body slowly, heat seeping out of his skin. It almost itched and tickled, but it was mostly hot and prickly. He could feel his blood moving within him, his heart beating—he could feel _everything_ that was going on inside his body—but he could not move or wake up. Sam was stuck in a purifying state of sleep that was repairing his damaged body.

He swears he can hear the conversations around him just barely. It doesn't quite register too strongly, but he can make out voices as long as they're in his room. He heard Dean mostly, and sometimes he heard Cas. He even heard Crowley and Kevin once or twice. At least Dean kept his final promise and found Cas.

There was one conversation that Sam remembers the clearest.

"I'm worried about Cas, Sammy. He's uh, he's not holding up well. He thinks everything is his fault. I-I'm not good with words, Sam. I wish you were awake, you'd know just what to say," he let out a breathy laugh laced with all the emotions he was holding back, "Y'know Sam, I think I'm…in love with him. I bet you'd say something like, 'I knew it, Dean' or 'Finally talking about your feelings, Dean' or something, and make me feel like a teenage girl talkin' about her crush. At least now you know why I'm always so worried about 'im—if you can even hear me. Dude, I miss you. And it's only been a friggin' day! That's why I'm taklin' to your comatose ass. Just—hang in there, Sammy. And hurry up! I need you to wake the fuck up already,"

Most other conversations, he can't remember at all, most of them just quiet murmurs, yet this one he'll remember when he wakes up. He was almost certain it was a dream, but it was too clear and crisp to _not _be real. He wished he could've teased Dean about finally admitting his love for Castiel, but he was stuck in bed, being _cleansed_. He could only play the waiting game, however long that was.

/

It had been a day since the angels fell, a full 24 hours, and Castiel began to feel depressed again. The darkness in the sky reminded him of the fireballs that lit the sky ablaze, filled with his kin falling from grace. _All of it is my fault._ Though Dean had been teaching him things, he still felt inadequate and like such a burden. _Dean shouldn't want me here._ He snuck into the kitchen while Dean was in Sam's room, which, from walking by the door, he seemed to be talking to despite his comatose state. He took a bottle of whiskey out from the cabinet where he knew Dean stored all the alcohol, though he noticed Dean didn't drink as much as he used to. Castiel took the whole bottle with him into his room and locked the door. He sat on the floor against his bed and began to drink from the bottle. The taste was bitter and disgusting, but he continued to take swigs. He felt a buzz come on, feeling a bit light-headed from being tipsy and felt immediately relieved, but it didn't last long. He continued to drink, all the while wiping the silent tears that rolled down his cheeks. Did he deserve to be here, _alive_, at all?

As he came out of Sam's room, Dean noticed Castiel had locked himself in his room. He didn't like that. He was afraid that Cas would do something drastic and it worried him. Flashes of the Cas from the 2014 Zachariah had shown him all those years ago filled his thoughts and made him sick to his stomach. _Cas getting high. Smoking weed. Popping pills. Having orgies…_

No, Dean wasn't going to let that happen to his Cas, (_His Cas? Jesus Christ) _he was going to make sure of that.

He knocked softly on the door. "Cas?"

No response.

"Cas, I know you're in there. Open up, don't lock me out," Dean sighed as he tried the door. _Locked, great_. "Come on, man. I know you're hurting, but that's what you got me for. Family's supposed to lean on each other,"

Still no response.

"Fine, I'll just sit outside your door, talkin' until you open up and we can talk face to face,"

"C'mon Dean, leave me 'lone," he heard Castiel slurred words from the other side and began to panic.

"Cas, are you _drunk_?"

A slight pause. "Maybe,"

Dean sighed. "Cas, let me in,"

Cas made a an unidentifiable noise on the other side Dean couldn't make out. A _hiccup_?

"Cas!"

"Sorry I stole the alcohol from you,"

"I don't care about that, Cas. Let me in,"

The doorknob clicked and turned, Castiel opening the door with damp, red eyes, tears falling down, and an almost empty bottle of whiskey in his hand.

Dean strode into the room and closed the door behind him before Cas could shut him out again and motioned to grab the bottle. "Dammit Cas, you're scaring me!"

Castiel pushed Dean away, stumbling backwards a bit. "I don't deserve this!"

"Cas—" Dean rasped.

He proceeded to take a long drink out of the bottle.

Dean grabbed it away from him. "I think you've had enough,"

"I deserve to die, Dean! I should just drink until I die! If not alcohol, you should put me out of my misery!" Castiel plopped on the floor against his bed, sprawled out drunkenly.

Dean felt so sick to his stomach and felt his heart drop. He swallowed hard to stop any bile from rising. "Don't talk like that,"

"I'm serious, Dean!"

Dean could feel tears pooling in his eyes. "Cas, you—you're drunk, come on—"

"I don't deserve to live!"

"Cas, don't say that, don't—"

"Look what I did! You know what I did, Dean,"

"I don't care! I still want you here! How could you ask me to _kill_ you?" Dean crouched down across from Cas.

"I disappointed you, I hurt you—I always hurt you. I'll _always_ hurt you,"

"Cas, I've already forgiven you, _please _stop talking like that,"

"I failed to save my home, Dean. I failed to restore Heaven after devastating it. I deserve to be killed."

"Cas, I know how you feel. I felt that way hundreds of times before, failing my dad, failing Sam, failing to save people—trust me, I know it fucking _hurts_. But if I mean anything to you—if Sam means anything to you—you'll work through this with me. You have something to live for, Cas. Please, don't turn to alcohol or anything else. Turn to me. Or Sam. Hell, even Crowley if you need to. We understand how you feel. I-I don't like seeing you like this,"

"Dean, I only hurt the people I love—"

"We all do at some point, but that doesn't mean you end it all. I have Sammy, he's who I always lived for. Now I have you, and I live for you, too. Try to at least return the favor,"

"You really live for me?"

"Yeah, Cas. I'd die for you, just as I would Sam. You're family, man,"

Castiel had tears in his eyes again. "You-you would be sad if I died?"

"Yeah, I'd be a fuckin' wreck to be honest. I've lost you way too many times, lost my best friend too many times. Every damn time I lost you I thought maybe you'd turn up again—and then I thought maybe you were gone for good. I ain't losing you again, Cas. I'm not going through that again,"

Castiel began to sob quietly. "I-I-I'm so sorry Dean, I wasn't thinking—I shouldn't have acted so selfishly and said those things. I forgot how much you've gone through—"

Dean sighed. "Cas, c'mere," Dean hugged him, almost-tears in his eyes and he let Cas cry onto his shoulder a second time.

"I'll live for you, Dean. And for Sam. For my family,"

Dean resisted the urge to kiss him. Cas was drunk, and that wasn't right, even if they were both emotional. Instead he smiled. "Good,"

Castiel had his head against Dean's shoulder and dozed off. Dean just sat there wondering how long Castiel would stay asleep. He thought about moving him, but sighed and decided to stay in the same position. It was a good idea too, because Cas wasn't asleep for twenty minutes until he stirred awake.

Cas lifted his head and realized he passed out on Dean's shoulder. Dean didn't move them. That made him extremely happy—so happy he felt dizzy—for some reason. It prompted Castiel to do something he would never do under any other circumstances. He was going to tell Dean he loved him. Not in a language Dean could understand of course, and what was better than Enochian?

Castiel smiled up at Dean, cupping his cheek and saying something that Dean figured was probably Enochian with such sincere eyes that Dean almost let go of his previous notions and kissed him. But of course, he didn't. _Cas is drunk. Cas is still drunk._

"Come on, Cas. You should drink some water. You don't want a really bad hangover," Dean stood, stretched and held a hand out to help him up.

Castiel nodded and said something else in Enochian, giggling as he took Dean's hand.

"Dude, come on. You know I don't speak Enochian,"

Castiel smiled mischievously. "Precisely,"

Dean blushed, sensing some sort of innuendo. He shook it off as Cas continued to talk to him in Enochian. Cas was drunk as a human for the first time, and he just woke up from passing out, so of course his emotions were all over the place. At least he seemed happy for now.

Castiel continued to speak in Enochian. After the "I love you" he said "nice ass" and cutesy pet names parallel to "darling" and "sweetheart" that Cas considered much more meaningful and beautiful in Enochian, and other words of love that cannot translate.

As Cas continued to giggle as he spoke his language, Dean couldn't stop himself from grinning at him fondly. Even if he was half-sure Cas was cussing at him or something.

"If you feel sick in the morning, straight to the bathroom," Dean passed Castiel a full glass of water which Castiel promptly drank down.

Castiel nodded. "Yes—" he spoke another word that means 'my beautiful.'

Dean sighed. "What are you saying? You're driving me nuts,"

"Not telling you—" Castiel added 'sexy' this time.

"Come on, Cas. What's with the code words? You hitting on me or something?" Dean joked.

Cas laughed as Dean poured him more water. "Maybe,"

Dean chuckled. "Dude, you're so drunk,"

Castiel drank down all the water and Dean was_ not_ staring at Castiel's throat as he drank. "Guilty,"

Dean rolled his eyes as Castiel came closer and whispered in his ear. Dean shuddered and felt desire shoot through his body with every word. They sounded so seductive though Dean had no idea what Cas was saying. He could've said "Nice weather" and Dean would've heard "Fuck me."

Dean cleared his throat as Cas pulled away and stared intensely at him. "Time for bed, Cas,"

Castiel grinned at Dean's reaction. He had said: "I want us to make love until we collapse from exhaustion" (which Cas thought sounded much more beautiful in Enochian) but Dean would never know. It felt relieving to somehow get these feelings out, even if Dean couldn't understand it. It would leave room for Cas not to mess it up like he knows he will.

"G'night Dean—" Castiel proceeded to add "my sexy man."

"Night Cas,"

Castiel fell into a restless sleep full of dull nightmares, gasping for air after each one. Thanks to the water, he only had a dull headache when he finally rose at five AM. Considering he went to sleep at one in the morning, it wasn't much sleep at all. He walked into the kitchen for more water, which on an empty stomach tasted bitter, and headed to the library for his routine morning reading.

After a few hours, Dean got up and met with him.

"Mornin' Cas,"

"Good morning Dean,"

"How do you feel?"

"I had a bit of a headache when I woke. It's faded a bit,"

"Great,"

"Thank you for assisting me,"

"Yeah, uh, you wanna tell me what you said to me last night?"

Castiel couldn't control the blush that spread across his face, making him feel hot all over. His ears were a soft pink as well, and Cas could feel them burning slightly. He hoped Dean didn't notice.

"You do remember talking to me in Enochian, right?"

Castiel nodded and swallowed, looking away. "I'd rather not say,"

Dean smirked. "So you _were_ hitting on me?"

Cas felt like his face was on fire. "N-no!"

Dean chuckled and tapped him on the shoulder. "It's alright, Cas. You were drunk and I was the only one around. What d'you say?"

Castiel sighed. "Many things. Mostly things that don't translate to other languages."

"Can you at least tell me what you whispered in my ear?"

Castiel's widened and he shook his head fast. "No,"

"Oh come on, Cas. It's not like you asked to fuck me or anything,"

Cas felt like the room was spinning and didn't respond, staring at Dean with a blank expression.

Dean went beat red. "You-you didn't ask that, did you?"

Cas blinked. "I-I'm just feeling a bit dizzy,"

"Oh, that's normal for a hangover. Come on, I'll make you a breakfast that should fix ya right up,"

"Thank you, Dean,"

"Yeah, yeah. But you're not off the hook. One day, you're going to tell me what you said to me in Enochian,"

Castiel nodded, not really promising anything. He was hoping Dean would forget about it.

/

**I CAN NEVER WRITE ANGST IT'S TOO PAINFUL FOR ME ALL ANGST IS SOLVED QUICKLY**

**THANK YOU TO ALL THE REVIEWERS IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME I LOVE YOU! 3**


	5. Winchesters Actually Discuss Feelings

_**Fallen**_

_**Chapter Five: Winchesters Actually Discuss Feelings**_

Crowley proved to be rather useful in the bunker, actually insisting on cleaning and other things that made Dean less of a super nanny. Dean was actually really grateful that Crowley seemed to _enjoy_ cleaning (if that was literally possible for someone to _like_ cleaning) and made it easier for him to teach Cas how to do things he didn't know how to do. Crowley had also, unbeknownst to everyone else, been praying every night—even though the angels fell, even though everyone believes God is dead. He had been praying for forgiveness and for hope. He asked to keep the bunker safe and for Sam's full recovery. He prayed Castiel wouldn't look so sad. He prayed that Dean would be able to make Cas smile, and vice versa. He prayed for Kevin not to work himself too hard and for a safe translation of the angel tablet. All the while, he helped all he could to keep the bunker clean, the least he could do to thank the Winchesters for giving him a chance, despite all the evil he'd done. He certainly felt like a burden and that he was a constant reminder of evil and the past to everyone in the bunker. At least Sam was kind enough to mention saving him to Dean, and what could a bit of cleaning hurt?

And not to mention the entertainment of Dean and Cas tip-toeing around each other like they were school boys. The occasional tease was more than enough to get them blushing and for Dean to tell him to leave Cas alone and "Cas isn't used to being human, cut 'im some slack."

_Oh, Dean, such denial_.

All in all, Crowley was getting used to a routine in the bunker, and was slowly but surely starting to live with himself again. Sure, he wished he had a Dean Winchester to his Castiel, but being thanked for doing the little things like nothing happened was kind of refreshing. Like he had a fresh new start and was becoming a new man.

Of course, he still had demon blood rushing through his veins, so sometimes he'd just switch personalities out of thin air. That's where most of the sassiness came from and why he was somehow in a delighted, mischievous mood from sulking in a matter of seconds. He mentioned it to Dean a couple of times, and he had snorted "No kidding" and didn't seem to mind. Dean had taken this opportunity to tell him to "try and keep your PMS under control" and Crowley responded, "Likewise."

/

Kevin was busy at work translating the angel tablet, but not without Dean scolding him to sleep a full eight hours and eat a good diet. Kevin would usually roll his eyes and say Dean was worse than his mom, and Dean would retort with "Good, she wouldn't want you to burn out,"

Dean was feeling like shit ever since he saw that video Kevin had made to send if he was to die. He thought he had gotten Kevin killed after pushing him way too hard, almost to a point of insanity. Dean felt he had a responsibility to make sure Kevin took care of himself, especially because of his mom. How would she feel if Dean had gotten him killed? Fucking horrible and probably a murderous rage. Dean believed she was capable of such and thinking about it gave him shivers. Kevin was going to have a rather normal kind of schedule and was never going back to his old routine if Dean had a say.

Kevin's progress wasn't particularly fast, and that was a given since Dean was stricter on him. He had finally made progress on the tablet, but he had only translated the spell Metatron had already initiated.

"I had to go down this one side, sorry that the expulsion spell doesn't help,"

"Kevin, how many times have I said I'm tired of the word _sorry_? It's fine, there's no rush right now,"

"But Dean, the angels—"

"Yes, the angels. We'll get there when we get there. No need to almost kill yourself just so we can do it quickly. Sam's not even awake yet! You expect me to do this without him?"

Kevin groaned. "Alright, alright, but there's something you should know,"

"What?"

"The spell—the ingredients—"

"What about them?"

"You said Metatron needed Castiel's grace right?"

"Well, I guess, yeah,"

"Oh,"

"What is it, Kevin?"

"The spell needs a specific angel's grace. The angel has to meet a certain criteria,"

Dean felt his heart nearly leap out of his chest, throat suddenly dry. He really didn't want to know. "What kind of criteria?"

Kevin sighed and hesitated. "I don't know if I got this right,"

"That's okay, Kevin,"

"Do you want to know?"

"No, I've got a good idea, and I don't want to know,"

"Why not?"

"I don't want to be right,"

"_Why_?"

"It's complicated,"

"Come on, Dean. What do you think it is?"

"Now get some sleep,"

Kevin groaned. "You're ignoring—"

"_Sleep_," Dean walked out of the room to find Castiel glaring at him and sighed. "What, Cas?"

"You're usually so quick on issues like this, Dean. Why now of all times to relax? You're going to have angels roaming the Earth as humans, Dean! They won't know what do to! They may kill! You _promised_ me!"

Dean was caught off guard by Castiel's yelling and how close he had gotten in his anger. Dean was definitely _not_ turned on. Nope. Not one bit.

"Cas, I know you're upset—"

"_Upset_? I'm full of guilt, Dean! Full of guilt for what I've done and what I always do to everything and everyone I love! I killed many of my brothers and sisters! I destroyed my home! I was stupid enough to trust Metatron, to trust myself over you! And you're letting Kevin _take his time_? And you're ignoring issues? When before, you were rushing him to get the next trial to close the gates of Hell, which would've killed Sam? Because_ that_ was more important,"

Dean flinched at Castiel's comments. "That's fucked up, Cas," he said more hurt than he realized.

Cas noticed the pain he was causing Dean, but he was too angry to care. "I do everything for you, Dean! Why do you always abandon me? Why can't _you_ trust _me_? You were angry at me just a few days ago when I returned because _I_ didn't trust _you_. Well, you never trusted me, did you? Everything I did, I did it to protect _you_, Dean. And you were too caught up in your self-righteous attitude to notice that it wasn't about me leaving you or me not wanting to be here by your side, but about wanting you _safe _from people who wanted you dead and could do so in an instant! Why should I even be explaining myself to you? I'm still loyal to you, and I feel less deserving of your kindness even after all you've done to me. I _fucked_ everything up and have nowhere else to go, and you tell me we can fix it. You _promised_ me, Dean! And here you are, telling Kevin to take his _fucking_ time! Because _no one_ is suffering, no one you care about, except mybrothers and sisters! Y'know, the dicks with wings? But I guess they're just dicks now, right?" He stormed out toward his room and slammed the door.

Dean was left there in disbelief, feeling a bit of everything, but mostly broken. The words from the past rang in his ears. _"Stand behind me, the one time I ask,"_

Cas had wanted Dean by his side this one time and Dean pushed him away. After Cas _fell_ for his sorry ass to help stop the apocalypse. No wonder both of them had trust issues. Dean sighed and thought about ignoring everything and just going into his room, but he couldn't leave Cas like that. Not after everything Cas had said just two nights ago.

Dean sighed as he stopped to knock at his door. "Cas?"

There was no answer.

"Come on, Cas, we need to talk about this. I'm sorry, okay?"

The door opened and he was face to face with an angel with downcast eyes and tears falling from his face.

"Cas—" Dean wanted to reach out to him, but Castiel sulked toward his bed and plopped on it, pressing his knees to his chest.

"What are we talking about?" he mumbled.

"Our trust, Cas. I realized that this isn't just about you, but about me. I kept getting angry for nothing. When I was mad at you the other day—"

"You gave me the silent treatment," Cas sniffled.

And _shit_, did that make Dean feel like crap. He nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. "I was mad because you left, 's all. I didn't really mean to mention anything about trust, I just thought you didn't want to stay with me and it pissed me off,"

"Why?" Cas was finally looking at him.

"'Cause I thought you'd just leave again, so I thought there was no point of me being nice when you seemed to be acting like a machine,"

"I was protecting you, but I always fail you,"

"No, Cas, you never failed me,"

"I betrayed you, Dean,"

"That was years ago, Cas, and you were trying to protect me then, too,"

"I wanted you to have a normal life like you had with—" Castiel cleared his throat. "Like you had back then. I didn't want you to get involved. I thought I was doing something right—"

"I know,"

"I should've listened to you. I always should've listened to you…"

"Cas, don't dwell on the past, okay? I promise to trust you from now on,"

"And I promise to trust you with all my being,"

Dean flinched in surprise at the way Cas said that. He was always so sincere. "And I'm keeping my promise, Cas. I just don't want Kevin to work himself up. I was impatient last time, and Kevin went crazy with his routine and barely slept, almost got addicted to pain killers—Christ, his mom would kick my ass if I let that happen to him—and you saw him trying to drink some whiskey. I'm just looking out for him, alright? He's doing the best he can without hurting himself,"

"I apologize for yelling at you, Dean. I was mostly angry at Metatron and myself. I was thinking about a lot of things that happened in the past and I took my regrets and emotions out on you,"

"Hey, all is forgiven. Now try to get some rest and stop thinking about any of that. We're fixing things, remember? And I'm gonna teach you how to shoot in the morning,"

"Thank you, Dean,"

"G'night, Cas,"

"Goodnight,"

Once Dean was back in his room, Castiel heard a knock on his door. He opened it to see Kevin standing there.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Yes, what is it Kevin?" Cas moved aside and let Kevin inside and closed the door.

"Well, it's about the spell Metatron used,"

"What about it?"

"You don't know? The last ingredient is the grace of an angel in love with a human,"

Castiel's eyes widened. "How—"

"Metatron must've known,"

"The angels always teased me about 'my humans,' it's possible he found out,"

"But you really _are_ in love with him aren't you?"

Castiel sighed. "Yes,"

"I think Dean suspects something along the same lines. He didn't let me tell him, he didn't want to know if he was right,"

"That would explain why he wanted to stop talking about the tablet,"

"I don't think he believes it or _wants_ to believe it,"

"Are you suggesting I make him believe?" Castiel raised an eyebrow.

Kevin shrugged. "If you want, I thought I should tell you. I mean, Dean's always had a soft spot for you,"

"Right, now you should get some sleep,"

Kevin rolled his eyes as he opened the door. "You guys are hopeless,"

"Goodnight Kevin,"

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Going to bed,"

Castiel would be lying if he said he wasn't worried. If Dean suspected and he didn't do anything about it, does that mean he doesn't love him back? _Of course it does._ But why would he deserve to have Dean with him in that way anyway? Friendship was enough, and he was ready to settle for that.

_At least he wants me here in the first place._

/

In the morning, as promised, Dean took Cas down to the shooting range to teach him how to shoot a gun. He decided to start with a _regular ol' _gun before moving onto shotguns or anything like that. He hoped Cas would pick up on how to shoot a gun easily.

"Alright, the first thing is, you gotta keep both hands on the gun. Sometimes this isn't possible, but right now for teaching purposes, you keep both hands on the gun,"

Castiel nodded.

"Okay, you gotta take a stance—" Dean assumed a firm stance with his legs spread slightly apart, one foot in front of the other. "—and aim with both eyes open. Don't close'em. Keep your hands steady and squeeze the trigger.

Dean shot twice, both times hitting dead center on the heart of the target.

"You think you got it?"

"I'm not sure," Castiel tries to copy Dean's movements, but fails and shoots the wall.

"Try again,"

Cas still hits the wall.

"Put your shoulders down, relax,"

Cas hits the side of the target.

"You see? Now just steady your arms,"

"Okay," he shoots the leg.

"You're not letting your body take the impact and it takes your aim off,"

"I don't understand, what do you mean?"

Dean groaned and positioned himself behind Cas to help him shoot, his breath tickling Cas's ear. Cas shuddered at Dean's breath so close to his face. The warmth coming from Dean's body stirred something foreign in Cas once again, and he feels his face flush red.

"You gotta relax and keep your body firm. That's it, now squeeze the trigger,"

Cas shoots and hits dead center.

"Like that, good," Dean breathes.

Castiel's breath hitches. "Yes, thank you, Dean,"

Dean slips away slowly. "Now try it on your own,"

Cas shoots, hits the target in the head, and smiles in pride toward Dean.

Dean smiles back. "See? Wasn't so hard was it?"

"No, but I appreciate your help,"

Dean nodded and wanted to touch him more than he should. Instead he just gave him a thumbs-up. "We'll keep practicing, you'll be an awesome shot in no time. C'mon, we deserve some grub,"

Dean tried to stay away from his feelings. It wouldn't work out and wouldn't end well. And this was_ Cas_ he was thinking about anyway. His _best friend_. Sure, Dean had a couple of pretty awesome wet dreams and probably fantasized about kissing him and holding him more than he should, but that didn't mean he _deserved _to have a relationship like that with Cas. They were hunters, and hunters couldn't afford to love and be loved. Not like that. All that Dean's seen—it makes him think twice. But the way Cas was acting made Dean hope they _could_ be something more, but he felt selfish.

His thoughts weren't on the fact that Cas was a _dude _anymore, but on the strain it would put on their friendship. Dean knew he would fuck everything up eventually and then they'd be stuck with each other, neither one able to leave. Everything in Dean's mind told him it wasn't a good idea. But he was getting too selfish to care anymore.

Castiel's thoughts were along the same lines, but also very different. He couldn't want Dean like that, he shouldn't want to kiss Dean and hold his hand. Dean wouldn't like it, he thought of him as a friend, nothing more. Dean liked women, and Castiel was a man now. A man who didn't deserve to be cared for, nonetheless get what he wants. He should be content with what he has and that Dean wants him here despite all he's done. That should be enough, but because it isn't, Castiel feels guilty every time he indulges a slight touch or a longing glance. But Castiel was getting too selfish to care anymore.

They were eating alone for once—Kevin was working on the angel tablet and Crowley was off somewhere doing his cleaning thing and probably humming some random David Bowie song.

Dean had the idea to make chili cheese fries for Cas because _"Dude, you haven't_ _lived until you've tried chili cheese fries!"_ which they ate along with their burgers. Castiel sat next to Dean as usual and they shared the plate of fries, talking about nothing in particular.

Castiel observed every now and then Dean would lick his fingers of any stray chili or cheese, and was somehow blushing at the sight. But trying to learn to be human, he began to do the same.

Dean noticed Castiel was studying him—_what else is new_—but it was most apparent when he licked his fingers. He turned to see Cas doing the same, but because he'd never done it before, he did it slow. Slow and way too innocent to realize how sexual it was, but Dean couldn't look away. He licked his lips in response.

Castiel saw Dean wasn't eating as he stared, so he tilted his head and asked, "Something wrong?"

Dean blinked, startled, and paid attention back to his meal. "No, just—interesting to see a once-angel-of-the-Lord lick his fingers," he smirked.

Castiel felt the heat pool in his cheeks again. "Was it not proper?"

"Well, it's not really proper, but Winchesters have never really been proper,"

Castiel fought a smile. "Am I a _Winchester_, then?"

Dean's heart skipped a beat at the mention. Cas really didn't have a last name. What could it hurt? "That's right, no last name. We should fix that,"

Cas felt excitement boom in his chest.

"Welcome to the family, Castiel Winchester,"

Castiel grinned, eyes sparkling with happiness. Hell, Dean's sure he's never seen Cas _this_ happy. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. Dean could just kiss him—

What? No, he couldn't possibly think that right now.

"Thank you, Dean. I am really, truly delighted,"

"Hey, you needed a last name, right?"

"It's a privilege to receive yours—and Sam's,"

Dean blushed and dammit, he shouldn't be acting like a fucking middle school kid with his first crush. "I think it's more of a privilege to have you here with me,"

_Shit_. Did he really say that? _Fuck_, that was crossing the line—

"And for you to have me here with you,"

Maybe not.

Dean smiled at him. It looked like Cas felt the same way. What else could he feel the same about? _No, this is about friendship. Family_. There's nothing about it that should or could be romantic. No matter how hard Dean hoped, he knew it wasn't right.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do we seem to make a habit of staring at each other?"

Dean flinched at the question, realizing that they_ were _staring at each other. "Uh, I-I uh, dunno," Dean was blushing, and turning away.

Castiel noticed and smiled. There may be hope after all.


	6. Death By Embarrassment

_**Fallen**_

_**Chapter Six: Death By Embarrassment**_

Dean should have been expecting something like this to happen. It was inevitable now that Cas was human now, but what the fuck was he supposed to do about it? Fuckin' stupid male anatomy_._

Dean had finally had the chance to wake up before Cas, which seemed like good news for Cas's sleeping habits, but in reality it was just Dean getting up extra early. He wanted to see how Cas liked it when someone watched him sleep. The prank—if it was really that at all—was to stare at Cas until he woke up. Dean was hoping he would jump or get startled like he had done so many times when Cas appeared out of nowhere.

Dean snuck into Cas's room and began to look over him, trying his best not to laugh. Cas began to stir and opened his eyes to see Dean and scrambled awake, startled.

"Dean?"

Dean held back laughter. "Creepy, isn't it?"

Castiel looked at him with that confused puppy look.

Dean chuckled. "Y'know, when you would watch over me, that's how I would feel. Anyway, we're gonna go grocery shopping later so you should hit the shower—"

Castiel nodded before looking at his lap. "Dean, what's going on?"

"What?"

Cas pulls back the covers Dean looks down to see a tent in Cas's sweats.

"Shit, you have a-uh, _boner_,"

"I-I don't know how—"

"Relax, guys get morning wood. It's natural,"

"It hurts, Dean. Why does it hurt?"

Dean nearly groaned. _This was not happening._ (How many times has he thought that this week?) "You have to, uh, jerk off,"

Cas stared at him funny. "What do you mean?"

"Y'know, touch yourself," Dean was red from embarrassment and wasn't looking at Cas. _Couldn't_ look at him.

Dean looked back to see Cas poke his erection with his finger and gasp.

"No, not like that!"

"I believe you are referring to masturbation. How do I proceed?"

"You gotta, you gotta grip it like this—" Dean demonstrated the proper hand shape, "and uh—this is so _awkward_—move your hand up and down. But do it in the shower or something,"

"Dean, how should I—"

"Cas, this is really not something I want to talk about with you."

"I'm sor—Dean, I need help,"

"I can't just give you a lesson on _jerking 101_!"

"One question. What do I do when I touch myself?"

"I dunno, think about something that turns you on. And I do _not_ want to know—just go,"

Castiel nodded and headed to the shower. Once there, he imagined Dean touching him, kissing him, fucking him like those one night stands, and that made it so much more pleasurable. Once he was done, however, he felt wrong. Dean had said it was natural, but Castiel still felt vile.

Dean shouldn't have been surprised with his own erection being initiated by imagining Cas jerking off in the shower. Wet and flushed red, eyes glazed with soft moans coming out of his parted plush lips. Maybe he was biting down on his bottom lip to stop the noises. Maybe his other hand was exploring his chest and nipples. _God_, why did he think that was so hot? Dean was already so frustrated after seeing Cas half-naked that one time, and now—_Jesus_. That was it, Dean Winchester had to resort to touching himself, something he hadn't done since—God knows when.

After a shower of his own, Dean found Cas reading in the library again and found it hard to look at him.

"Uh, hey Cas,"

Castiel looked embarrassed when he met Dean's gaze. "Yes?"

"How was—uh—you alright now?"

Castiel nodded, avoiding eye contact.

"Something wrong?"

"No,"

"Cas, if it's about, uh, feeling wrong after jerking off—"

"It did feel wrong Dean,"

"Hey, like I said, it's natural. You gotta take care of those things sometimes,"

"Do you?"

Dean blushed. "Uh, of course Cas,"

"I feel better then,"

"Good,"

"What do you usually imagine?"

Dean nearly choked on air. "_What_? Cas, I can't just tell you—"

"I'm sor—I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just wanted to know what I _should _be imagining."

"Cas, you can figure that out for yourself. There's no specific to this thing,"

"Oh, okay, so I can imagine whatever I please?"

"Yeah, your body, man," _God, what the hell was going on?_

"Okay, thank you, Dean,"

"Yeah, you really shouldn't thank me, but whatever, you're welcome,"

Dean just had a masturbation discussion with a fallen angel. What has his life become?

"Are we still going grocery shopping?"

"Oh yeah, that's right. You ready?"

"Yes,"

"Alright, let's go. I'll teach you everything about getting groceries," Dean grinned as Cas followed him to the car.

When they arrived at the store, Dean began to teach Castiel about how to pick the best fruits and vegetables to put into the bag before buying them, especially going on about the lettuce because _"Sam's gonna need some salad when he wakes up. He sure loves his rabbit food."_ He talks about the importance of expiration dates and finding the best one. They're in the middle of the canned goods section—Castiel at one end looking at the soup while Dean decided to look at some chili.

"Dean?"

That voice was so familiar, all he had was turn around and find out who it was…

"_Cassie_?"

"What are you doing here?" She grins.

"I could ask you the same thing," he returns the smile.

She laughed lightly. "I'm just hoping there isn't anything _strange_ in this area. I'm just passing through,"

"Yeah? Well I kinda gotta home base sorta deal goin' on here. Nothing you should be worried about,"

"Dean, is this soup sufficient?"

Cassie studied Castiel. "And who's this, Dean?"

"Oh, this is—"

Castiel extended a hand. "I'm Castiel Winchester,"

Dean blanches.

Cassie blinks a couple of times in confusion, eyes darting between the two before taking his hand. "Hi, I'm Cassie, nice to meet you,"

"Nice to meet you, too,"

"We, uh, used to date," Dean added.

"She was your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, Cas,"

"Cas, huh? Cas and Cassie," she smiled. "Dean, I'm really surprised. I had no idea you were ever, y'know, interested in men,"

"Yeah," Dean swallowed and smiled uncomfortably. He knew that Cas having his last name sounded like they were actually married. There was no way he could say Cas was his adoptive brother or tell Cassie the truth because it was a really complicated story. He wasn't going to tell her that he's really just a fallen angel who rescued him from hell and now he's Dean's best friend and is living with him and Sam—yeah too much with too many questions that would follow.

"How long have you two been together?"

Before Dean could answer, Castiel said without hesitation, "Almost six years,"

Cassie raised her eyebrows. "Wow, that's a real commitment, I didn't know you had it in you, Dean. So you're both hunters, then?"

"Yeah," Dean's really embarrassed now. He was probably way too red and he could _feel_ the pink on his ears. He cleared his throat. "So what's up with you? What brings you to Kansas?"

"I'm on a road trip with my husband. We're on our honeymoon,"

"That's great! Who's the lucky guy?"

"He's a journalist. You can see how we met. We're very much in love,"

"That's great! I'm glad to hear you got someone,"

"Me, too. For you, I mean,"

"R-Right,"

"I should hurry up, he's waiting in the car, so—it was nice seeing you again, Dean. And nice meeting you Cas,"

"You too," Cas smiled.

"Maybe I'll see you around?" Dean smiled.

"Maybe," Cassie waved and continued through the store.

Dean let out a breath he was holding. "Cas, did you know what she thought we were?"

Castiel head tilt #4.

_Of course he didn't._ "She thought we were, y'know, _together_,"

Castiel's eyes widened in understanding. "Oh,"

"I mean, are you cool with that? I didn't say anything for obvious reasons but—"

"She thinks we've been married for almost six years," Castiel deadpanned.

Dean sighed. "Yeah, she wasn't asking how long we knew each other, genius,"

His face fell. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable,"

"It's—it's okay, just—are you okay? I mean, it's the first time you get insinuated as my—my _spouse_,"

Castiel smiled slightly. "It doesn't bother me in the slightest. You'd make someone very happy, Dean,"

Dean flushed red. "O-oh, well, I-I guess. Uh, thank—" Dean spilled over some cans, and cursed under his breath as he picked them up before turning back to Cas. "Thanks,"

Castiel's smile turned into a smirk at Dean's fumbling and he continued to look at the cans of soup.

Dean wished he could just sink into a hole because he's never been _this_ embarrassed his whole life and he already blushed enough for one day. Or maybe a lifetime. Probably the most embarrassing day in his whole _existence_.

/

Every day, Dean would check on Sam multiple times, making sure he was breathing and getting enough fluids. They had more or less had Sam set up like he would be in a hospital, using supplies from the bunker. Dean would talk to him like he could hear him and tell him to get his sorry ass up and that when he wakes up they'll be food for him. Sometimes he would talk about the day's events and embarrassing things like when Cas met Cassie. Of course, all of this was to no avail, and Sam still remained unconscious, maybe dreaming of God knows what, unmoved since the angels were expelled from Heaven, which was almost a week ago now. Dean had hoped so hard that Sam would have woken up by now.

Today, Dean had to go shopping with Cas, Crowley, and Kevin for clothes. _Supernatural nanny, Dean Winchester! Ugh._ They stopped at a small mall not too far from the bunker with a couple of clothing stores and a food court. They gathered at a fountain in the middle of the mall—when was the last time Dean had been in a mall with a _fucking fountain_?

"Here, a credit card for each of you," Dean gave Kevin and Crowley each a card that was obviously from Sam and Dean's scams they had to do to sustain themselves. "I'll take Cas to help him buy clothes, and we'll meet back here,"

"Don't get too frisky," Crowley smirked.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Buy whatever you want, as long as its _clothes_."

Kevin and Crowley nodded as went their separate ways.

"Alright Cas, time to buy some clothes of your own," Dean escorted Cas toward a bargain store that had things he would usually wear.

"I'd rather you pick them out, Dean,"

"Are you sure? You're gonna wear them, not me,"

"I'm indifferent to fashion, Dean,"

Dean rolled his eyes and snorted. "Yeah, no kidding, if your holy tax accountant look is anything to go by,"

He could've sworn he saw Castiel give him a pout from the corner of his eye and suppressed a chuckle.

Dean picked three pairs of jeans—a blue, dark blue denim, and black—for Cas to try on along with black, grey, and blue T-shirts.

"Here, go try'em on,"

"Dean what is the purpose—"

"To make sure it fits, Cas,"

"These seem reasonable, I believe they fit—"

"Just try'em on—you gotta make sure everything's comfortable,"

Castiel sighed and went into a dressing room as Dean waited outside. He came out a moment later with the regular jeans and the black shirt.

Dean gave a thumbs-up, totally _not _checking out some Cas ass. "Looks good,"

Castiel blushed. "Is this really necessary?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Just put on the other ones, Cas,"

Castiel came back out in the grey shirt and the darker blue jeans, receiving another thumbs-up of approval. He felt a bit embarrassed that Dean was looking over his body in clothes, but a bit pleased at the same time. It was interesting how these human emotions were so complicated.

He finally tried on the last outfit with the black jeans and blue shirt. Dean had picked them out mainly because the colors reminded him of Cas's usual outfit—the black of the suit and the blue of the tie. Familiarity—Dean was really _that _lame. Castiel came out, red in the face again.

Dean blushed himself at how damn good Cas looked. The blue shirt was a perfect fit and the jeans were snug and hugged Cas's legs and ass just right.

"Awesome," Dean gave another thumbs-up.

Castiel sighed.

"What? Don't you like'em?"

"Yes, I do, I just—feel undeserving of such kindness,"

Dean sighed. "Cas, you're here because I'm buying you clothes whether you like it or not. _You're_ stuck with _me_, not the other way around. I _want_ to do this for you,"

"I really do like these,"

"Me too. Reminds me of your regular outfit."

Castiel avoided Dean's gaze. "So, would it be alright if I picked something myself?"

Dean smiled. "Yeah, Cas. Whatever you want,"

Castiel perked up and pointed. "I would like that leather jacket then,"

Dean looked and saw a faded black leather jacket hanging near the dressing room. He grabbed it and handed it to Cas who proceeded to put it on and look in the mirror.

"Does it look good, Dean?"

Dean was trying really hard not to gather Cas into his arms because _damn_ did he look good in that leather jacket. He swallowed. "Really good, Cas. It uh, suits you,"

Cas beamed at him. "Thank you,"

"Let's buy'em then. Then maybe we can buy you some PJs of your own,"

Castiel shook his head as he entered the dressing room. "I'd rather use yours, if that's okay,"

"Sure Cas, but I don't even use the ones I gave you. The shirts have tiny holes. Don't you want new ones?"

Castiel came out of the dressing room back in Dean's clothes and handed the new clothes to Dean. "Yours are soft and they smell good,"

Dean blushed and cleared his throat_. Cas liked his smell_?"You really think those old things are _soft_?"

"The smell comforts me,"

"Y'know you're talking about _my smell_, right?"

He nodded. "I don't know why, but it's very comforting. I feel…at home when I smell it,"

Cas liked his smell. Cas felt _at home_ when he smelled Dean's scent. _Holy shit._ Dean was flustered now. "Oh, okay, sure—yeah, you can use'em,"

"Thank you, Dean,"

"Y'know, you're way too polite for a hunter,"

"Really? Should I try to be rude?"

"You callin' me rude, Cas?"

"You certainly don't have manners," he retorted, and Dean almost thought Cas was serious for a second.

Dean rolled his eyes and snorted. "Whatever, Mr. Rogers,"

The reference was lost on Cas and he looked like a lost puppy again. "Who's Mr. Rogers?"

"Never mind, it's our turn to pay,"

After paying, Castiel dug into the bag to put on the leather jacket. And _holy shit_ was Dean crazy about Cas in that leather jacket. Not to mention that Cas was wearing Dean's old, ripped jeans and his hair was messier than usual. He was looking really _hot_. He cursed himself as they made their way to the fountain, where it turns out Kevin and Crowley were already waiting for them.

"There you are! We've been waiting," Kevin complained as they began their way out of the mall.

"So, did you two have some fun in the dressing rooms?"

Dean groaned. "_Crowley_—"

"Yes," Castiel replied, obviously missing the innuendo.

Crowley smiled mischievously. "Really? Was it good?"

"It was a pleasant first experience,"

Kevin and Crowley snickered.

Dean face palmed. "Cas, he's making an innuendo,"

"_Innuendo_?"

"Like trying to make the situation _sexual_,"

"Oh," Castiel paused a second, "Dean and I did not do anything sexual."

Dean ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

Crowley and Kevin burst out laughing.

"Cas is _hilarious_!" Kevin said between his laughter.

"What did I say that was so amusing?"

Dean chuckled. "You're so straightforward and naïve, it's—" he tried to think of a word that wasn't _adorable_.

"Dean wants to say you're cute," Crowley interrupted.

Castiel blushed and turned to Dean.

"No, I was going to say—uh, well—funny," Dean was flustered again.

"In a cute way,"

"Shut up, Crowley,"

"Am I cute, Dean?"

"_Cas_! You can't just ask that,"

"But Dean—"

"He's not going to answer being so _macho_," Kevin added.

Dean rolled his eyes.

"But Dean, I need to know this. If I am too cute how am I supposed to be a threatening hunter?"

Dean sighed. "Cas, you don't have to be anything to be a hunter except willing to kill evil sons of bitches. I mean, Garth for one—he's goofy lookin' and he does just fine,"

"Oh, I see. So it's okay that I'm cute?"

"Yeah, Cas,"

Kevin and Crowley started snickering again.

"The truth comes out," Crowley winks.

Dean turns red. "No—I didn't—"

"I am _not_ cute, Dean?"

"All of you, shut up!" Dean stormed ahead toward the Impala, grumbling in embarrassment.

"He is angry with us," Cas hung his head.

Crowley snorted. "No, Cas, he's just flustered. He can't admit he thinks you're cute because Kevin and I are around and his manliness is at stake. Ask him later when you're alone with him. Tell him you're sorry and make a pouty face and you'll get the truth. Just try not to talk to him until then, alright?"

Castiel furrowed his brows. "I believe I can do that,"

"Good, you'll like the answer," Crowley patted him on the shoulder.

Kevin chucked. "Geez, Crowley. Never thought you'd be a fallen angel's wingman,"

Crowley shrugged. "Those two are just driving me crazy, it's mostly selfish on my part,"

Kevin rolled his eyes as they caught up with Dean who was sulking in the Impala.

Once they reached the bunker, Dean and Cas took the new clothes into Cas's room to place in his nearly empty dresser.

"Here, you gotta make sure your clothes are folded nicely to avoid wrinkles—"

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Cas?"

"I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable earlier at the mall. I didn't mean to. It's alright if you don't think I'm cute," Castiel looked away.

Dean saw Cas's sad face and cursed himself. "Cas I—I didn't—I mean—I never—_dammit_—I never said that,"

"What do you mean?"

Dean sighed. "I just—sometimes you're pretty freakin' adorable,"

Head tilt #7. "Adorable?"

Dean blushed. "Yeah, with the childlike wonder you have. But you can be scary as hell when you wanna _smite_ evil sons of bitches,"

Castiel beamed. "Thank you,"

"Yeah, yeah. Let's get back to learning about folding clothes, we still have things to do today,"


	7. Surprise Visits

**I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED IT MEANS SO MUCH TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS THANK YOU! 3 ENJOY THE NEXT CHAPTER!**

**~rockleah**

**/**

_**Fallen**_

_**Chapter Seven: Surprise Visits**_

"Why do we have to do this again, Dean? I am trained in combat. I know how to fight,"

"We're just practicing, Cas. I wanna see what you can do,"

Dean had insisted on sparring with Cas to see how his reflexes were like. He thought maybe Castiel's fighting skills wouldn't be the same after being turned human and wanted to test his theory.

"Dean, I don't want to hurt you,"

"You won't! I'm a big boy and I've done this _loads _of times. Just give it your all. Don't hold back,"

"If you insist,"

Dean proceeded to take off his shirt. Castiel's eyes drifted around his broad shoulders and toned body. He felt heat rising to his face and toward his lower regions.

"Dean what is the purpose—?"

"I don't wanna get my shirt all sweaty. If you wanna take yours off go ahead,"

"Is this a common occurrence?"

"Uh, yeah, sure,"

"I see," Castiel took his shirt off as well.

And if Dean enjoyed that, he hid it well.

"Alright," Dean held a fighting pose, "aren't you gonna get into a stance or whatever?"

"I do not need one, Dean,"

Dean narrowed his eyes. "Right, okay, I'm gonna swing at you,"

"You do not need to tell me your actions,"

Dean rolled his eyes and took a swing at Castiel's face, to which he moved his head, grabbed Dean's wrist, his other wrist, swept his feet out from under him, and pinned him to the ground, straddling him.

And Dean was _not_ thinking about Cas dominating him in other ways. This was totally _not_ hot. Not _at all_.

Dean exhaled. "Wow, Cas,"

"I did not wish to strike you. I have done you enough harm,"

"No, but that was awesome. Uh, you can get off me now."

"Right, my apologies," Castiel stood and reached out a hand to help Dean up.

"I just wanted to see how good you were," he patted Cas on the shoulder as he stood, "and you're really good. Probably got better reflexes than me or Sam."

Castiel smiled slightly. "I was trained in Heaven, Dean. I've done this since the Earth had been created,"

"Well, when you put it like that maybe Sam and I are better since we learned with such little time,"

He chuckled. "Whatever you say, Dean,"

"We're still going to fight,"

Cas frowned.

"Okay, your turn. You get to attack me,"

"Dean I do not wish—"

"To hurt me, yeah, I know. You won't, just—"

He sighed. "Fine,"

"Pretend you're holding a knife or something,"

Castiel went ridged and gulped.

Dean sighed. "Cas, this is training. Pretend it's not me,"

"Right,"

He took a swift swing at Dean, who ducked and grabbed Castiel's arm. Cas, however, gripped Dean tighter and they were on the floor again, Dean pinned under Castiel with his wrists held above his head by Cas.

Dean grinned. "You _are _really good. I thought I had you for a second,"

"Never underestimate me, Dean,"

_And if that wasn't the hottest thing…_Castiel was on top of him, shirtless, keeping him pinned like it was nothing. If he didn't do something soon, Cas wouldn't like the impromptu boner that would be poking him.

"Okay, you've been on top of me too long," Dean tried to flip them over, but surprisingly enough he couldn't. Castiel was stronger than him.

Castiel smirked, fucking _smirked,_ down at Dean. "I told you not to underestimate me,"

And if Dean was trying extra hard not to get a boner, no one had to know.

He gulped. "Okay, I get it Cas, you can get off me,"

Castiel stood, and Dean tried to kick his feet out from under him, but Cas was quicker and took a long stride backward.

"And I was going to help you up," he shook his head.

Dean huffed as he stood. "I was testing you. This is all training,"

"Right,"

"Okay, geez, you're awesome. Happy now?"

"Awesome? I believe I've been bestowed the highest Winchester honor," he smirked.

Dean chuckled. "You cheeky little shit,"

"Shall we continue?"

"Yeah,"

"There are only so many ways I can pin you to the ground, Dean,"

Dean was _not_ taking that as dirty talk. "Oh yeah? Come on big shot,"

"I still do not wish to hurt you,"

Dean snorted.

They continued to spar for a few more minutes, Dean somehow always ending up beneath Castiel in so many different ways that Dean was _totally __**not**_imagining as sex positions.

"Given up, Dean?"

Dean sighed as he breathed heavy from exhaustion. "Yeah, you win. You don't need any training you badass motherfucker,"

Castiel tilted his head. "Dean, I do not fornicate with mothers,"

Dean groaned. "Shut up, you little shit. I know you know what that means,"

Castiel smirked. "I believe we could use a shower,"

And Dean ignored that Cas said _we_ for the most part. "Yeah, you go ahead, I'll grab one after you," Dean grabbed his water bottle and began to drink it down.

Castiel watched as Dean's Adam's apple bobbed as he drank. It was pleasing, and he didn't know why. He forced himself to look away and headed toward the shower. He thought about Dean's chest and how many times Dean was beneath him. That was a thought he rather liked. Dean beneath him, panting and sweaty—and Castiel had a boner again. At least he was going to take a shower.

/

Castiel woke up early—again. Instead of reading in the library, he thought he should make himself useful and make breakfast for everyone, since Dean went through the trouble of teaching him. It would be his first time cooking on his own, but Castiel was confident he could do it. He would do it, for Dean. Like he did everything else.

He crept to the kitchen, though it was only five in the morning, and began to set up to make a huge breakfast: eggs, ham, bacon, hash browns, French toast, and pancakes. Dean was going to love it.

Dean was having the best dream he's had in years. Probably the best dream ever. It was Cas underneath him, writhing and needy and moaning his name.

"_Dean—" Castiel gripped his shoulders, hands running down his back._

"_Cas," Dean moaned into his neck._

"_Dean—Dean—Dean—" with each thrust, Castiel was chanting his name over and over…_

Castiel was finally finished. It only took two hours to get everything ready to eat. It was seven-ish, so Castiel went to wake up Dean. He would never get over how peaceful and beautiful Dean looked in sleep. Nonetheless, Castiel was going to wake him up.

"Dean?"

Dean mumbled in his sleep.

"Dean—_Dean_—" Castiel stood over him.

More mumbles, Castiel thought he heard his name.

"_Dean_," he shook his shoulder gently.

Dean's eyes fluttered opened in a daze, still high off the endorphins of the dream, to meet Castiel's face.

"Oh, _Cas_," he said breathlessly, placing a hand gently on Cas's cheek.

Castiel blushed. Dean's eyes were filled with adoration and it startled him a bit, but mostly confused him.

"Dean? I made breakfast," Castiel head tilt #8.

And then Dean realized he was awake.

He removed his hand and scrambled to sit up, almost falling off his bed. "Cas!"

"Dean?" head tilt #1.

"Sorry! I was, uh—I was dreaming,"

"Yes, it appears so. I made breakfast, and I would very much appreciate if you ate it," Castiel's gaze shifted a bit.

"You made breakfast?"

He looked away. "Yes,"

"That's awesome, Cas! Of course I'll eat it,"

Castiel smiled shyly. "Okay, I'll get the others,"

Dean adjusted himself after that dream (startling awake helped him a lot with that) and walked to the kitchen table. He beamed at the breakfast display in front of him. There was everything you could ask for at breakfast! Eggs—made in every single way possible—ham, a mountain of bacon, hash browns, French toast _and_ pancakes. _Fuck the dream, this is way better._

"Is it sufficient?"

"_Sufficient?_ This is fucking amazing! Cas, how'd you do all this?"

"I learned from the best," he said shyly.

"Damn straight," Dean grinned as he grabbed a plate. "But you're a fast learner anyway, so I'm just a plus,"

Crowley and Kevin joined shortly, also amazed at the amount of breakfast displayed in front of them.

"You cooked all this?" Kevin gaped.

"Yes, so please, enjoy,"

Everybody dug in.

"Cas, this is so delicious. Seriously, you're a natural,"

"Thank you, Dean. I did my best from what you taught me. This breakfast was meant as a thank you to you. It's the least I could do for all you've done for me,"

Dean felt touched as Cas thanked him. He did all this for him, and that was really special. "Thanks, Cas. You really didn't have to do anything. I'm happy to help you—"

"No, Dean. I _wanted_ to do something for you,"

"Oh, thank you." Dean smiled shyly.

"You deserve it," Castiel smiled.

"We're right here, y'know," Crowley snickered.

"Shut up, Crowley,"

Dean decided to help Cas wash up dishes after breakfast. They had almost finished when Cas got soap all over his hair. His hair was starting to grow out, and without the gel that was always mojo'd in, it was starting to tickle Castiel's forehead. Dean was going to have to teach Cas about hair gel and shaving soon anyway.

Dean chuckled. "Cas, you shouldn't try to touch your hair with soapy hands,"

"My apologizes, Dean. I seem to have gotten dish soap in my hair,"

"No kidding, here, let me help," Dean grabbed a kitchen towel and began to clean out the soap from Castiel's hair, green eyes trying not to lock with blue.

"Thank you, Dean,"

"You are_ too_ grateful, Cas," Dean smirked.

Once their eyes meet, they both blushed. Dean's hands still in Cas's hair, tussling it slightly. Dean could just lean down and—no he couldn't.

"Maybe I should teach you how to use gel, Cas. Then maybe your hair wouldn't bug you as much," He dropped his hands from Cas's hair and continued to finish drying the dishes.

"I would appreciate that, yes,"

"And you're starting to get some extra scruff,"

Cas gave him head tilt #5. "Is that bad?"

"No, no, it's just a good time to teach you how to shave,"

"I would like to get rid of this _extra scruff_ as you say,"

Dean chuckled. "Okay, come on. We can do that now,"

Castiel followed Dean into the bathroom, where he proceeded to fill the sink shallowly with water.

"Here, this is your razor and this is the shaving cream. What you want to do is get a small amount of shaving cream and lather it on your face." Dean began to spread shaving cream on Cas's face. He was trying really hard not to think about how he was touching Cas's face.

Castiel was pleased that Dean was helping him with his hygiene. Dean's hands on his face made him blush, but he liked it. He wanted Dean to continue touching his face for some reason. _Humans enjoy touching a little too much_, he thought.

"Then you uh, take the razor and gently shave down. Don't do it too hard or you'll cut yourself. Then you wash the razor in the water," Dean demonstrated with his hand on top of Castiel's, pulling the razor gently down his cheek as he watched through the mirror.

"Seems simple enough,"

"You wanna try it now?"

"Yes," Dean released his hand and Cas began to shave as he was shown. When he was finished, Dean tossed him a towel.

"Good, the last thing you do is dry off your face,"

"And the gel?"

"Right, here—" Dean took a good amount of gel and rubbed it between his hands before standing behind Cas. "You gotta do that, then you take your hand and just run it through your hair,"

Castiel watched as Dean styled his hair through the mirror. "Simple,"

"Yeah," Dean moved to the side of Cas, "Look at me for a sec,"

Castiel did as Dean asked, and Dean started to fix Castiel's hair the way he remembers it. The way it was when they first met. _I'm such a girl_, he thought.

And here they were again, Dean's hands in Castiel's hair, faces close together. Dean could lean down—

Loud music made both men jump slightly. Dean cursed as he wiped his hands on the nearby towel and picked up his cell phone. Who could be calling?

"Hello?"

"I'm visiting you," a female voice stated on the other line.

"What? _Charlie_?"

"The one and only. Now be prepared for a visit!"

"There's kinda alotta shit goin' on right now—"

"Nope, don't care. I'm coming and that's that,"

Dean sighed. "Well you should know Sam's in a coma and there's Kevin Tran—prophet of the Lord, Crowley—who used to be the King of Hell—and Cas who's not-so angelic anymore living in this bunker right now,"

"Castiel is there?" Charlie had a mischievous tone to her voice.

"I'd thought you'd ask about Crowley being here—"

"How are you two, y'know, there together?"

Dean groaned. "What? Charlie—"

"Oh my God, you need my help,"

"No, Charlie—"

"You like him, don't you? I was thinking the whole time reading the books Dean totally loves Cas—"

"_Charlie_—"

"Yes or no,"

Dean sighed. "Well, yeah—"

Charlie made a weird noise. "I totally saw it coming! God, I should read you some of the writings! 'Dean stared passionately into Castiel's deep blue eyes—'"

Dean groaned. "Come on, man,"

Charlie laughed. "I'll be there soon. Expect me,"

_Click._

Dean sighed and hung up his phone and turned to Cas, who was looking confused. He motioned to follow him and they walked toward the main hall to be closer to the door.

"That was Charlie. She's a friend of ours—Sam and I. We met her back when we still had some Dick to beat. She was Dick Roman's assistant—she's good with computers,"

Cas nodded. "She is coming here?"

"Yeah, she's decided to invite herself over," Dean grumbled. "But she's been here before so no sweat. I guess you're finally gonna meet her,"

"I see. She is very close to you and Sam?"

"Yeah, like the little sister we never wanted,"

Castiel looked puzzled. "You do not wish to engage in relations with—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cas! Sam and I aren't exactly Charlie's type,"

Castiel head-tilt-squint-combo #7. "I don't understand,"

Dean sighed. "She likes chicks,"

Castiel relaxed. "Oh,"

"Yeah, she—" There was a knock at the door. "—must be here,"

Dean opened the door with Cas in tow. "Hey Charlie,"

"Hey Dean!"

They embraced quickly, Dean giving her a one-armed hug.

"So Sam's out cold?"

"Yeah, the trials to close Hell—"

"They did that?"

"Yeah, but we didn't complete them. Sam would've—"

"Died?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah, he almost completely purified the King of Hell,"

"Purified?" Charlie raised her eyebrows.

"Like make a demon human again,"

"Oh! So that's why Crowley is here?"

"Yeah,"

"Dean, how does she know so much about everything? You couldn't have told her every detail—"

"The books, Cas. I forgot to tell you Chuck published the rest he wrote even though we told him not to and Charlie read them all,"

Castiel nodded in understanding.

"So this is the famous Castiel?" Charlie extended her hand.

Cas shook her hand. "Nice to meet you, Charlie. But I am not famous,"

"He_ is_ dreamy," Charlie winked at Dean, who rolled his eyes.

Castiel head tilt #6. "I don't understand. Is that a flirtation? I thought you 'liked chicks' as Dean said,"

Charlie laughed. "Aw, he's confused! Dean, come on, you should—"

"This is not the time, Charlie,"

"Wait, is he wearing _your_ clothes?"

Castiel glanced at his clothing. "Yes, this is Dean's old shirt,"

"Oh, I thought you two weren't toge—"

"_Charlie_," Dean flushed red.

"Oh,_ oh_, sorry,"

"Dean, what is she talking about?"

"Nothing Cas. C'mon Charlie, why don't you meet everyone?"

Castiel smirked slightly as Dean walked away rubbing his neck and Charlie noticed. Castiel could sense something between them.

"Oh, so you like him, huh?"

Castiel smiled. "That is a mild way of putting it,"

Charlie grinned. "You think he likes you?"

Castiel blushed. "I don't deserve him to _like_ me the way I _like_ him,"

Charlie sighed. "But that's the thing, isn't it? You can't just make someone who _likes_ you not _like _you,"

Castiel seemed to consider this as Charlie followed Dean into the bunker to meet everyone.

"Wait, so why isn't Castiel _angelic_ anymore?"

Dean gulped and Castiel shifted uncomfortably.

Charlie's face went blank. "Sorry, I didn't mean—"

"It's okay, Charlie. All the angels were expelled from Heaven," Castiel looked visibly sad.

"O-oh, that must suck,"

Castiel nodded. "It does…_suck_, especially since my grace completed the spell."

Charlie was surprised. "Wow, major suck-age,"

Dean sighed. "Cas, you don't have to—"

"But those are the facts, Dean. Charlie wanted facts. If I had listened to you—"

"We are not doing this right now. We've been over this, Cas—"

Charlie looked between them. "Should I leave you two alone?"

"No," they said at the same time.

Charlie concealed a small smile as they entered the library to find Kevin hard at work.

"Charlie, this is Kevin. Kevin, Charlie,"

"Kevin! Prophet of the Lord, pleasure," Charlie extended her hand.

Kevin shook it. "Hi,"

"What is that?"

"The angel tablet, which should tell us everything about angels,"

"Cool, so Castiel could get his mojo back?"

"Possibly, I'm still working on this thing—"

"See? Keep your hopes up," Charlie gave Cas an encouraging smile.

Castiel perked up a bit, eyes shining slightly, but he did not smile. Charlie could sense he was feeling like shit after everything that happened, it didn't take a genius. And it didn't take one to figure out that Dean was obviously hurting because Castiel felt that way about himself. Or that because Castiel felt that way, he thought he didn't deserve to have Dean in his life. God, these two were a mess.

"I see we have company,"

"And this is Crowley," Dean narrowed his eyes at the former demon.

"I see you were greeted by our mummy and daddy," Crowley smirked and Dean rolled his eyes.

"But which one is mom and which one is dad?"

Dean groaned. Of course Charlie was going along with this.

"Dean is definitely the mother by default. He'd be doing all the cuddling,"

Dean narrowed his eyes and she laughed. "Dean _is_ the big softie,"

He glared at her.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Charlie," she extended her hand and shook Crowley's.

"Charmed,"

"I don't understand. Why are you referring to Dean and I as mother and father? Dean is not a woman, nor are we married,"

Charlie giggled. "Dean, how can you not pinch those cheeks! He's so cute!"

Castiel heat-tilt-squint-combo #5.

"Okay, that's enough. Cas, they just like teasing us 's all,"

"They seem to enjoy themselves in that area a little too much,"

"You're tellin' me,"

Crowley eyed Dean. "Well, maybe if you grew a pair and didn't act like a teenage girl around her crush then maybe—"

"_Crowley_," Dean groaned.

Charlie was cracking up now. "Seriously, how hasn't either one of them caught on?"

"I've been here almost a week and have been asking myself the same thing,"

"You guys are driving me nuts," Dean held the bridge of his nose between his fingers, "How about a movie? We should watch a movie,"

Charlie snorted. "Nice change of subject, by the way,"

Dean smirked mischievously. "Cas hasn't watched Lord of the Rings yet,"

Charlie's eyes widened as she turned to Cas. "You haven't? Oh my God, we are going to fix that right now! We are _so_ marathon-ing the trilogy _right now_,"

"Alright, I will watch it with you,"

Charlie beamed at him before turning to Dean. "Dean, you can snuggle with Cas on the couch,"

Dean groaned as he plopped into a chair. "You guys can't give a guy a break, can you?"

Charlie somehow managed to hook up her laptop to the projector, the genius she is, and they made popcorn and watched the movies together. Dean tried to pay attention to the movies, but Cas's reactions were somehow more interesting. He didn't ask too many questions, but he was completely immersed in the storyline and his eyes would show how he felt. Dean knew when he was confused or sad or happy or worried—it was cheesy really.

At the end, Castiel was actually wiping away some tears. "That was a most wonderful experience,"

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, Cas,"

Charlie whispered to Dean, "You're swooning,"

Dean glared at her as she smirked.

"Well, I'd hate to leave, but I'm gonna have to go," Charlie frowned.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Charlie. Please visit again," Cas smiled.

"You bet I'm coming by again!"

"I'll walk you to your car," Dean turned to Cas, "I'll be right back,"

Dean and Charlie walked outside toward her car.

"Thanks for coming, but give me more notice next time," Dean smiled.

"I'll try, no promises," Charlie smiled back, "But promise to call me when Sam gets up, alright? I wanna see him when he's not so _asleep_,"

He nodded. "Promise,"

They hugged.

"Oh, and one last thing. Castiel told me he's not _deserving_ of you,"

Dean flinched. "_What_?"

"Come on, Winchester. You _know_ what that means. You better show Cas he deserves you," she waved at him. "See ya,"

"Yeah, see ya," Dean waved back, still a bit dumbfounded as Charlie got into her car and drove off.


	8. Nightmare Cures

_**Fallen**_

_**Chapter Eight: Nightmare Cures**_

The nights Cas was trying to sleep weren't getting any better, though he's extremely tired. He can't close his eyes without the horrific images engrossing his mind and scaring him awake. Every time the image of killing Dean would surface, Cas would begin crying. To escape sleep, he would sneak to the library to read until morning, but Dean always caught him and would comment on how Cas was getting bags and he was going to burn out, etc., etc., but nothing was working.

After a week of not being able to sleep fully, Castiel can't stand it anymore. He had to do something to get himself to sleep soundly for once, but what? The only thing he could think of was telling Dean about the nightmares. He still didn't want to and would rather try to sneak off to the library to read all night, but Dean would catch him like he always does. At any rate, Castiel was growing weaker and he knew it. Dean could see it and was getting pretty touchy whenever he wasn't sleeping. Maybe Dean would know how to help him if he told him about the nightmares. He crept toward Dean's bedroom, only for Dean to immediately know he was there.

Dean is lying in bed, about to fall asleep as he hears the floorboards creak. His back is facing the door, but he knows who it is. He thinks Cas is trying to stay up again. "Dammit Cas, go to sleep,"

Every night since Cas fell, he hated to sleep and it drove Dean crazy. Between teaching Cas how to do all sorts of human things, sleep was the one thing that Cas never got a hold of. Cas would always be awake, and Dean had told him repeatedly he was going to burn out. Castiel never seemed to listen because he slept no longer than three hours a day at most. Dean didn't completely understand, but still scolded him for it. Humans need sleep, and Cas was human now. Dean didn't want Cas to strain himself or pass out. He wouldn't say he was _concerned_, but yeah, he was concerned.

Dean turned over to see Cas open his door and shuffle closer to his bed. "I can't sleep,"

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock,"

"I can't seem to be comfortable,"

Dean sat up in bed and rolled his eyes. "What can_ I_ do about that? Cas, we've been over this,"

Castiel shifted uncomfortably and avoided Dean's gaze, drifting his eyes to the floor. It was now or never. He took a deep breath. "I—I have nightmares,"

Dean looked surprised at the former angel. "Cas, are you scared?"

Castiel gulped and nodded, looking like a sick puppy. Those wavering blue eyes didn't help either. Dean was thinking about how Castiel hasn't dreamt since the last time he fell, and he wasn't very used to dreaming. It must be overwhelming to dream something so vividly, and especially since the last time he fell, Cas experienced much more to have nightmares about. Having all those souls inside of him, killing so many angels, taking Sam's hallucinations of Lucifer, going through purgatory, and now the angels falling from Heaven—enough to give Dean shudders—was fuel enough for some sick nightmares. He wanted to kick himself for not thinking about it earlier. It had been a week and he didn't notice. He should've known that Cas had another reason to hate sleep.

"Dammit Cas," Dean grumbled as he shifted his position on the bed to one side of the mattress.

Castiel perked up immediately at the gesture, taken by surprise. "You are allowing me to sleep with you?"

Dean sighed. "Don't phrase it like that,"

Castiel head tilt #3.

"Just lay down, Cas. Keep to your side, okay?" Dean was hoping he wouldn't regret this decision later. He felt all sorts of odd feelings in his chest as Cas lay down next to him under the covers. Dean noticed the T-shirt was too big on him and exposed some of his neck and collarbone and wanted to kick himself for looking too long. Thankfully, Cas didn't seem to notice.

Castiel smiled as he sank into the mattress, under the covers. "Thank you, Dean. I already feel at ease,"

"Yeah, yeah, now go to sleep," Dean wasn't going to admit it, but he _liked_ the warmth radiating from Cas and was secretly hoping Cas wouldn't keep to his side. Nonetheless, he turned away from him, basically clinging to the edge of the bed, afraid of his own emotions as usual.

Soon enough, Dean heard Castiel's even breathing and because he's _such a_ _girl _was finally able to drift off himself knowing Cas was asleep. He wasn't asleep for too long before he was awakened to his name being called.

"Dean," Castiel mumbled.

Dean turned over to see Cas still asleep on his side with a strained expression on his face. He was curled into a ball of tension and his breathing was rushed and fast, like he was hyperventilating.

"Cas? Cas," Dean whispered, gently shaking Castiel to wake him up. He wasn't lying, he had nightmares.

Castiel gasped awake from another dream of killing Dean, saw Dean looking at him concerned, and tears began to roll down his cheek. "D-Dean,"

Dean hated seeing Cas cry. "Cas, it's okay, it's just a dream. I know angels aren't used to—"

Castiel hugged Dean tight. "There was blood everywhere. Y-you were dying and it was my fault," Castiel continued crying into Dean's chest.

Dean hugged back, rubbing Cas's back, trying to stop him from crying. The nightmares must have been really affecting him, and Dean felt even guiltier he didn't notice before. "It's all right Cas, I'm here, living and breathing. You're touching me, you can feel me,"

Dean smoothed Castiel's hair back from his forehead after he got no response. "Look at me, Cas,"

Castiel looked, eyes red and puffy, sniffling a bit.

"How long has this been happening?"

"Since I fell,"

Dean cursed himself. "Dammit, I'm sorry, Cas. I should've noticed. I should've been looking out for you, but you should've told me,"

"I didn't want to be a burden,"

"You were and never will be a burden, Cas. How many times have I said that?"

"I feel like one," he mumbled.

"Did I make you feel like this?"

"I thought you would think so,"

"No Cas, I never felt and never will feel that way. If I ever made it seem that way—I'll make it up to you. Now try to get some sleep," Dean pulled Cas close as he lay back down.

"B-but Dean, your side—"

"Forget what I said, Cas. Just go to sleep. I don't ever wanna see you cry again,"

Castiel smiled and began to close his eyes. It was a few seconds before anyone spoke again.

"You're so warm Dean," he snuggled closer, arms wrapped tightly around Dean's middle, burying his face in Dean's neck, too tired to control what he was saying or doing.

Dean blushed. "Yeah, uh, _sleep_,"

"You smell so good. So—_Dean_,"

That's when Dean noticed Castiel's smell—and damn, he smelled great—and Castiel's breath on his neck. He gulped. "Dammit Cas,"

"Did I make you uncomfortable?" Cas's voice was small, worried.

Dean pulled Cas closer and tighter. "Now I'm never gonna let you go,"

Castiel sighed contently, and began to drift off into the most restful sleep he's ever had, Dean's embrace keeping the nightmares at bay. With Cas sleeping soundly, Dean was able to fall asleep himself, briefly thinking about Kevin or Crowley finding them in the morning, and then realizing he couldn't care less. His angel felt safe, and that was all that mattered.

/

Dean awoke to find his arms wrapped around Cas and his face buried in his chest. He was startled a second, but smiled and continued to lay down a bit longer until Cas woke up. When Cas stirred, Dean began to grin.

"Good morning, how'd you sleep?"

Cas smiled, maneuvering slightly to meet Dean's gaze. "Good morning, Dean. I slept soundly, the best all week. No nightmares,"

"Good,"

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"I very much liked sleeping next to you,"

Dean blushed.

"It's very warm and comforting. Do you think I can sleep here every night? If you don't mind,"

Dean smiled. "'Course Cas. I like you here, too, y'know,"

Castiel beamed. "Really?"

Dean nodded.

Cas's face fell. "I don't deserve this,"

Dean pulled Cas tighter. "Yes you do,"

"Did I ever tell you what Naomi made me do before she made me hurt you? She had me kill you a thousand times. I killed you a thousand times. I-I—"

"Cas, is that what you were dreaming about last night?"

"Yes,"

Dean finally sat up, bringing Cas up with him. "Listen to me—I'm still alive and kickin', and that's because I knew you would stop and you did—"

"But if I hadn't?"

"But you did and that's what matters. Cas, I forgive you,"

Castiel brought his hand up to Dean's cheek like he had that night. "I can't even heal you anymore,"

Dean took a deep breath in response to the touch. "Cas, that doesn't matter. You can't be controlled to hurt me ever again. How many times, Cas? I need you. I—"

He noticed Cas looking at his lips.

"Cas, I _want _you here,"

"Why? After all I did—"

He sighed. "Cas—"

"—beating you to the brink of death—"

"_Cas_—"

"—abandoning you—"

"Cas—!"

"—not listening to you—"

"_Cas_—!"

"—not trusting you—"

"_Castiel_,"

"—betraying you—"

"Dammit, Castiel—I love you!"

He had said it. Said those three words that have been swimming around in his head, _in his heart_,since what feels like forever. Now Dean was panicking inside. Castiel's eyes were filled with confusion and surprise. _Did he feel the same? No, he didn't, he couldn't…_

"Dean?"

"You heard me. I _love you_. And not just as family, Cas,"

"Dean,"

"You don't have to love me back or anything—"

"_Dean_—"

"—I mean, I'm supposed to be your best friend—"

"Dean—!"

"—But I love you anyway—"

"_Dean_!"

"—let's just not let this change us—"

Cas put his hands on Dean's face. "Shut up, Dean Winchester. I love you, too,"

Dean was dumbfounded. The feeling was _mutual_. He didn't even think—he couldn't, staring into such sincere blue eyes—he kissed him. It was gentle, soft, and quick. Just a peck. It made Dean feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Dean pulled Cas into a hug. "I'll _never_ let you go,"

Castiel pulled away to face Dean again, eyes downcast. "I don't deserve this,"

Dean cupped Castiel's cheek and made him make eye contact. "Stop saying shit like that! You hear me?"

"Dean—"

"Cas, you helped us stop the apocalypse, you helped us save so many people. _You_ saved so many people. You've saved my ass and Sam's more times than I can remember. Even when we disagreed, even when we didn't want anything to do with each other, you were there. You deserve this,"

Castiel looked into Dean's pleading eyes, finally realizing that he was hurting Dean by putting himself down. "Dean, I'm so sorry,"

"Cas, you're already forgiven,"

"I'm hurting you, even now. I still hurt you even though I promised myself I wouldn't, I—"

Dean silenced him with a soft kiss, his hand carding through Castiel's dark hair. Castiel was rigid for a second before relaxing and grabbing onto Dean's t-shirt. Dean pulled away and pressed their foreheads together.

"You think _and _talk too much," he teased.

Castiel pulled away and placed a hand on Dean's chin, thumb stroking his bottom lip. "I very much liked that,"

Castiel kissed Dean back deeper, surprising him. The soft feel of their lips crashing sent all sorts of electricity throughout Cas's body, and that heart fluttering was back. He loved it, and wanted to do it more.

Dean smiled as he ran a hand through Cas's hair. "I didn't think you would love me,"

"I didn't think_ you _would,"

Dean looked at him funny.

Castiel sighed. "You like women, so I thought—"

"That may be true, but it's _you_, Cas. You made me second guess myself, I thought I wasn't straight. You're the only man I could have feelings for,"

Castiel smiled shyly. "I affected you that much?"

Dean kissed his forehead. "Yeah, Cas,"

"Angels aren't supposed to fall in love with humans. It was considered an abomination ever since some angels bred with humans long ago—"

"Wait, _what_?"

"It's a long story. But what I'm trying to say is that you are my exception, too, Dean. I don't think I could feel this way about any other human." Castiel placed his hand on Dean's cheek. "That's why Metatron used my grace,"

Dean felt like his heart was going to explode. So Cas loves him, and loves him more than any other person. He'll never love anyone else. He had suspected, but he was right—the spell needed the grace of an angel in love with a human. Dean was relieved and extremely happy, happier than he's been—hell since he was four years old. Since he was with Sammy again when his dad went missing. It had been a long time, and dammit, Dean deserved this.

He kissed Cas softly again. "I suspected that was the reason, but I felt selfish and scared,"

"Are you scared now?"

"Not at all,"

"Me neither,"

"We're acting like a couple," Dean chuckled.

"Aren't we one?"

Dean grinned. "Come on, we should get up. Gotta lotta stuff to do. I'll make you breakfast,"

"I'll watch you. What are you going to make?"

"French toast, your favorite,"

Dean didn't know what this was turning into, but it was getting pretty domestic quickly. All of him really didn't care, he had_ Cas_.

They ate their French toast together, shyly smiling at each other and stealing glances. Dean even took Castiel's hand and threaded their fingers together, blushing like a girl. It was overall really couple-y and domestic, even if they didn't say a word. They didn't have to, it was perfect the way it was.

After they were finished eating, Dean finally spoke. "You wanna watch a movie?"

"I'd very much like that, Dean. Is this considered a date?"

Dean rubbed his neck. "Well, yeah I guess, if you wanna call it one, sure,"

The Men of Letters bunker didn't really have a TV, but there was an old projector that used film reels they could use, with a stock of movies. Dean would've picked a movie like that, but instead, he grabbed Sam's laptop and hooked it up the way Charlie showed him the last time she was here and told Cas they were watching the first _Star Wars_ movie.

"But it's the fourth one," Cas commented.

"But it came out first,"

Castiel nodded, still a bit confused. _They tell the story out of order?_

They sat on a couch in what could be considered the living room, close together. Dean had shyly put his arm around Cas, who leaned on his shoulder in response. Dean felt like a fucking girl as he blushed. What he did was so fucking cheesy he felt like if anyone was watching they'd crack up with laughter. They stayed like this for the rest of the movie, Castiel occasionally asking questions that made Dean laugh. At the end of the movie Dean caught Castiel staring at him.

"What is it, Cas?"

"You're beautiful," Castiel breathed as he threaded his hand through Dean's hair.

Dean turned red. "O-oh uh—"

"I've always wanted to tell you that,"

"No one's ever called me _beautiful_, I mean, _hot _and _sexy_ sure—I even got a _pretty_ from a vampire,"

"You are _beautiful_, no other word will compare. Everything about you is so _beautiful_,"

Dean swallowed. "Geez Cas, you sure know how to get me all flustered,"

"Is that bad?"

"No, but uh, you ain't so bad yourself,"

"This isn't even what I really looked like. This is Jimmy Novak's body,"

"Well, it is now, and I can tell you, you're_ perfect_. Your eyes, man—sometimes I can't look away. I swear that has something to do with you and not Jimmy,"

Castiel looked puzzled.

"They say eyes are the window to the soul. It's like I can see _you_ in those eyes,"

"Dean—"

He kissed Cas, strong and passionately, wanting to show him how much he meant those words. Cas kissed back with as much passion and seemed to have the same idea.

"I should've told you sooner, Cas. We could've been doing this," Dean chuckled as he pulled Castiel closer.

"At least we're doing it now,"

"_Well_, if it isn't the lovebirds?"

Dean nearly fell off of the couch. "_Crowley_!"

Crowley had the biggest grin on his face. "See? I'd told you he'd come around,"

Castiel nodded.

Dean narrowed his eyes. "What the hell did you tell him?"

"I gave him advice how to make you flustered,"

Dean groaned. "Was it _that_ obvious?"

Crowley laughed. "Of course it was! You both had it bad for each other. Now you can finally get rid of that sexual tension,"

Dean and Cas looked at each other and turned beat red.

"Oh come on, you're grown men! Stop acting like teenagers. Though it is amusing,"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Cas is still a virgin,"

"You better get on that then, Winchester,"

Castiel blushed, thinking back to the day he was drunk and told Dean he wanted to make love to him in Enochian. "_Crowley,_"

"Oh come now, not you too! Flustered at the mention of sex,"

"This is not happening," Dean mumbled.

Crowley chuckled. "Don't mind me, lads. I'm just your sexy maid, continue your movie date,"

Dean scowled and Castiel put his head on Dean's shoulder, wrapping his arms around Dean's middle.

"What's next?"

"Episode five," Dean grinned.


	9. Love in the Air

**I PUT A LOT OF MY FANTASY FLUFFY MOMENTS IN THIS CHAPTER. THIS CHAPTER IS FULL OF FLUFFY MOMENTS SO I HOPE YOU ARE AWARE I DON'T WANT YOU DO SUDDENLY DIE OF TOO MUCH FLUFF. I DON'T KNOW HOW I SURVIVED WRITING IT. ENJOY. THANKS TO ALL THE READERS/REVIEWERS I LOVE YOU.**

**~rockleah**

_**Fallen**_

_**Chapter Nine: Love in the Air**_

It had been a weird few days, to say the least. The change in Dean and Castiel seemed completely fluid. It was as if nothing had changed, only that they would hold hands, kiss, and cuddle (though Dean is reluctant to admit he's the one initiating the cuddling).

Dean was sure it was time to take Cas hunting, and though it would be nice to stay and keep an eye on Sam, he knew Crowley and Kevin would be fine to do so. Dean had found a nice and easy salt-and-burn case not too far from the bunker. They decked out in FBI suits, Cas looking really _awesome_, and immediately found the cause of deaths in an old house. It was the original owner who wanted everyone off his property, and they got rid of him easily. Cas was wearing the leather jacket Dean loved so much and was kissing him every chance he got.

"Dean, you are very affectionate," Cas head tilt #10.

"Yeah, 'cause you look so hot in that jacket,"

"Dean it's cold,"

He laughed as he pulled Cas closer to him. "Not like that. I find you _extremely attractive_ in this leather jacket,"

Castiel's eyes lit up in understanding. "Oh, I see. I do like the jacket myself. Maybe I should wear it more often,"

Dean kissed him in agreement, humming in approval.

"So fucking sexy," Dean growled.

"_Sexy_?"

"Hell yeah,"

He smirked then and pinched Dean's ass.

"Cas! Where the hell d'you learn that?"

"I have my resources," he smirked, "Let's go home,"

This happy moment was short-lived. As the made their way to the Impala, they stumbled across a group of fallen angels who were _furious_ at Castiel. They called out to him and said so many hurtful things that Cas had already said or thought about himself. The dejected look on his face and the fact that he accepted everything made Dean all the more angry. He knew those fuckers would try to kill Cas if he wasn't carrying a shotgun.

"We're all looking for you, Castiel. We're going to kill you once your mud-monkey isn't around," one of them, a woman, growled.

Dean cocked his gun. "I'd watch your mouth if I were you. The _mud-monkey_ is the one with the gun," he flashed a grin, "Cas is doing all he can alright? We're trying to help,"

A man scoffed. "_You_ trying to help! You always try to help, you _Winchesters_,"

"We have the angel tablet _and _the prophet,"

They all went silent.

"Now, you can go on your way and I'll pretend you didn't insult me or Cas, okay?"

Castiel sighed as the group seeming to take a hint. "They hate me, my own kin—"

"Who cares what they think, huh? I love you," Dean smiled.

Cas's lips twitched. "That's right,"

"C'mon, you did awesome today. Let's get back home and relax. Would you like a massage?" Dean smirked.

"A _massage_?"

"Yeah, you lie down and I'll rub out all the tension,"

"That sounds pleasant, yes,"

Dean grinned. "Then let's hurry back home,"

They get back to the bunker rather quickly, hand in hand throughout the whole ride and during their decent back to their home. Dean led Cas over to the couch and told him to take off his shirt. Dean had seen him without his shirt many times now, but never like this. It was intimate. Dean swallowed and told Cas to lay down on his stomach. Cas complied.

Castiel didn't know what to expect when Dean began to knead the muscles at his back, he especially didn't expect it to be _so good_. He felt like putty in Dean's hands, and he felt everything melt away.

He lets out a surprised hum of contentment as Dean massages his back, which makes Dean flush. Cas is making these little noises and Dean has half a mind to just _pounce_, but he doesn't.

When Dean was done, Castiel was sleepy and just wanted to sleep on the couch, but Dean made him go to bed. Cas settled in Dean's arms, and kissed him sleepily.

"Thank you, Dean. That was so good,"

"Just good, huh?"

"Amazing," Cas said with a yawn.

Dean chuckled lightly and whispered, "Anything for you, Cas,"

/

"Is there anything else I need to learn?" Castiel asked honestly in the morning.

Dean pondered for a bit before answering with a grin, "Music,"

Head tilt #8. "Music?"

"Yeah! It'll be fun, I'll tell you everything about my favorite bands. We gotta start with Zeppelin, man. I bet you'll love'em. We'll borrow Sam's laptop for half their songs since I only got a couple of records. It'll take all day. Just you, me, and music appreciation. Whaddya say, Cas?"

Castiel smiled at Dean's enthusiasm. "I'd love that,"

Dean grinned. "Awesome, let's go!"

Dean grabbed Sam's laptop and took Cas's hand toward their bedroom. He immediately started playing _Led Zeppelin I._ "Vinyl is the best, Cas. It gives the music its authenticity,"

Castiel nodded as he listened to the opening of _Good Times, Bad Times_. Dean led them to sit on the floor against their bed. He was enjoying himself and looking at Cas for his reaction to certain rifts or specific parts of Robert Plant's vocal acrobatics he found most impressive.

Castiel had never given music much thought until now. He had merely observed how music had affected humans during his time in Heaven. The music of Led Zeppelin vibrating through the room had him in deep concentration with the instruments involved and the passionate singing of Robert Plant.

It wasn't until Dean started to sing that he truly started to love Led Zeppelin. It was a song called _Thank You_ and it was on the second album Dean started to play. Dean had commented that it was his guilty pleasure, but that it was their secret. Dean immediately started to sing along, staring at Castiel the whole time.

"_If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me,"_ Dean took Cas's hand and interlaced their fingers, smiling.

Dean's singing wasn't good—he was certainly tone deaf—but to Castiel, it was the most beautiful sound.

He beamed at Dean and kissed him quickly.

Dean smiled. "What was that for?"

"Singing to me,"

Dean blushed. "I'm horrible but—"

"It doesn't matter. I think your voice is beautiful,"

"Yeah?"

"Yes," Castiel put his head on Dean's shoulder.

It took them six hours to finish all of the Led Zeppelin albums, and Dean told Castiel so many different things about the band and the albums it was hard to remember it all. Castiel knows for sure that the lead singer is Robert Plant, the guitarist Jimmy Page (_"the best ever, besides Hendrix")_, the bassist and synth player John Paul Jones or "Jonesy" and the drummer John Bonham or "Bonzo."

"We can go on to The Beatles after dinner if you want,"

"The Beatles?"

"Most famous band in the history of forever I believe,"

"Yes, I would like that. This day has been most interesting,"

"I'm glad you're enjoying it as much as I am,"

The first album Dean played after dinner was Abbey Road, "Their most famous album," Dean had commented. Castiel was intrigued by the sound, especially the end of the album when the songs faded into each other.

"That's really…awesome,"

Dean beamed at him. "It sure is,"

They weren't going to finish listening to all of the albums today, so Dean decided to play Cas a special song.

"My mom used to sing this to me before I went to sleep," Dean said as the first notes of _Hey Jude_ rippled through the room.

Castiel sat in silence and listened. Dean was singing along softly, obviously still affected by the loss of his mother. Cas took his hand and put his head on Dean's shoulder in comfort, feeling the vibrations of Dean's voice as he continued to sing along to the lyrics.

"You ever dance before, Cas?"

Castiel laughed lightly. "I think you already know the answer to that,"

"Yeah, well—I've only sorta danced before, but I can teach you," he stood and brought Castiel up with him.

Dean put Castiel's hands on his shoulders and placed his on Cas's waist.

"Just sway with the music, Cas. Nothing complicated,"

They swayed to the music, their bodies only inches apart.

"You're right. This is most pleasant,"

Dean pulled Cas in closer until they were dancing cheek to cheek. He sang softly in Cas's ear:

"_Na-na-na-nanana-na, nana-na-na, hey Jude_,"

They swayed there, even after the song ended, before Dean pulled away slightly to kiss Castiel softly.

"Dean, thank you. Dancing with you was amazing,"

Dean smiled and then smirked. "Then I'll teach you some more. Tomorrow, we learn _The Twist_,"

"_The Twist? _Sounds painful,"

Dean grinned. "Nah, but you'll probably fall on your ass the first few times,"

Castiel squinted. "So it _is _painful?"

Dean laughed. "Just a little more complicated than slow dancing,"

"Alright, I look forward to it,"

/

Dean slowly blinks awake, greeted by the sight of Cas's peaceful sleeping face curled into Dean's chest. He smiled at him, not wanting to wake him, but wanting to make him breakfast.

_Breakfast in bed it is_, he decides as he carefully slips out of bed, making sure not to wake Cas.

He makes eggs—over-easy because Cas grew to like them like that—and pours them some orange juice before walking back to _their_ bedroom (he needs to get used to that) with a tray. He's all smiles until he sees Cas is awake and staring blankly with tears that have fallen down his face.

"Cas, Cas—you okay?" he asked as he placed the tray on desk.

Castiel didn't respond, but tears kept silently falling.

"Cas, babe, talk to me," Dean sat on the bed next to Cas, "I'm here, baby blues," Dean wrapped Cas in his arms.

"I had a nightmare," Cas croaks into Dean's shoulder.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Dean asks in Castiel's hair.

Cas nodded.

Dean made eye contact. "Whenever you're ready, babe,"

Cas took a deep breath. "It started out nice. We were together, kissing each other goodnight, but there was something wrong. I could feel it. I got up and went to another room—our daughter's room,"

Castiel blushed as he looked away for a second. Dean smiled at him as he continued. "But there was a demon. He was standing over our daughter's crib. You ran in and the demon laughed. You said 'It's not possible' and I got a chill throughout my body. The last thing I remember was yellow eyes and fire and smoke and the smell of burning flesh—" Tears ran down his face once more.

Dean was staring at him with wide eyes and dropped his arms from where they were around Cas's body. Castiel knew there was something wrong.

"Dean?"

"Do you know anything about the demon who killed my mom?"

"I've only heard whispers in Heaven, and it was around the time we were sent to rescue you from Hell. Why?"

"Because you just described him. Hell, you _dreamt_ about him,"

"How—?"

"I don't know, but it's freaking me out," Dean let out a shaky laugh full of the anxiousness that tugged at his stomach.

"The yellow-eyed demon?"

"Azazel," Dean spat, "I was the one who shot the son of a bitch,"

"This is strange, for me to dream of such things. I do recall you saying '_I killed you, you son of a bitch_,'"

Dean flinched and swallowed. "It's just a dream, nothing to worry about. How about we eat some breakfast in bed?"

He set the tray over their laps on the bed and turned to Cas, giving him a peck. "Dig in,"

"Thank you, Dean. I'm sorry I ruined it with my nightmares," Cas said as he took a bite.

Dean pouted. "You did not ruin anything, babe,"

Castiel smiled. "_Babe_? And before you called me 'baby blues,'"

Dean blushed as he sipped his orange juice. "It just came out,"

"I like it,"

"Yeah?"

"I'll call you something, too, if you don't mind,"

"Anything Cas,"

"My beautiful," Cas grinned as he stroked Dean's face, "My love,"

Dean felt overwhelmed. "Cas—thank you,"

Cas blushed. "You like it?"

Dean smiled. "Yeah, but now my pet names sound lame,"

He chuckled. "Would you like to call me angel?"

Dean was genuinely surprised. "Can I?"

"Yes,"

Dean kissed the corner of Cas's mouth. "My angel,"

Cas laughed. "We'll never finish eating if we continue like this, love,"

"Sorry angel,"

They grinned at each other and continued to eat.

"So—" Dean began as soon as they finished eating, "we had a daughter?"

Castiel blushed. "Yes,"

Dean grinned as he wrapped his arms around Cas and nuzzled into his neck. "A family of our own?"

"I thought you'd _freak out_," Cas ran his fingers through Dean's hair.

Dean chuckled. "I think it's cute,"

"Really?"

Dean pulled away slightly to face Cas. "Yeah, it would be cute to see you holdin' a kid,"

"I don't know if I'd be good with kids,"

"Sure you would! If I can be fine with kids, so can you,"

"Dean, I am not surprised you are good with kids,"

"Really?"

"Didn't you raise Sam?"

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Huh, well—where'd we get the baby anyway?"

"I believe there is a process called adoption. I thought you'd be somewhat familiar with it,"

Dean opened his mouth to respond seriously when he realized Cas was being sarcastic (and the smirk on his face helped, too). "Are you _mocking_ me?"

"Are you finally catching on?"

"You little shit," Dean said playfully as he leaned in and kissed Castiel, fingers playing with the hairs on the back of his neck.

/

Dean wakes up to hear Castiel coughing up a lung and instantly he_ knows_. Cas is sick. He told the stubborn son of a bitch not to keep going in and out of the bunker yesterday without a jacket.

"Cas?" Dean sighs, sitting up with him.

"Dean, I don't understand, why does my throat hurt? I feel dizzy and my head is in pain. I can't breathe through my nose," Cas sniffles for affect.

Dean fought a smile. Cas was really adorable with a puffy red nose and sleepily droopy eyes. "You're sick, Cas. Your first time. I did tell you to wear a jacket yesterday,"

"I wasn't cold," Cas whines.

"You're going to stay in bed today,"

"But Dean—"

"No buts! You're sick and you need to rest Cas," Dean led Cas to lay back down, fluffing some pillows to let him stay in a somewhat upright position.

"Will you stay with me?"

Dean smiled fondly. "'Course angel,"

Castiel relaxed.

"I'm just gonna have to get a few things for you first. Tissues, ingredients for soup, and medicine,"

"Is that gonna make me feel better?"

"Yeah Cas," Dean stroked Cas's hair back from his forehead.

"Okay,"

"But first, you're gonna blow your nose,"

Cas head tilt #9.

Dean chuckles. "I'll be right back." As promised, Dean returned with some toilet paper. "Believe me, you'll be thanking me," Dean rips a piece and puts it around Cas's nose and squeezes.

"Dean what is the purpose—?"

"Blow,"

"What?"

"Blow through your nose,"

Cas does as he's told and found it was a bit easier to breathe. "Thank you, love,"

Dean grinned. "Alright, I'm going to make you something to help your throat and then I'm going to the store, okay?"

Cas nodded and Dean left the room.

He returned in a few minutes with a mug full of a warm liquid. Castiel could barely smell, but he knew it wasn't coffee.

"Hot orange juice, always does the trick," Dean winks as he hands the mug to Cas.

Cas blows on it before taking an unsure, slow sip and winces. "It doesn't taste good,"

Dean grins. "It'll help your throat, and it's damn better than hot salt water, so drink it down. Now I'm going to the store, you think you can manage to wipe your own nose?"

Cas glares at him. "Yes Dean,"

Dean chuckles and kisses his cheek. "You're adorable, y'know that? Won't be too long, angel,"

He sighs. "Okay,"

He watches Dean leave and sips his orange juice despite the flavor and finds that it does soothe his throat. He finishes it by the time Dean returns.

"A box of tissues for your nose—much better than toilet paper,"

Castiel immediately takes one and blows his nose. "Yes, this is definitely more pleasant,"

"Good, I got you some Tylenol and you're gonna hate the taste, but try to knock it back like a shot and chase it down with water,"

Cas nods as he watches Dean pour the thick reddish liquid into a little plastic cup and hands it to him.

"Don't drink it yet, I'll get you some water,"

Castiel sniffs the liquid while Dean is away and winces. It doesn't smell good at all, and probably tastes worse. He really dislikes being sick.

When Dean returns with the water, Cas immediately drinks the medicine, barely able to miss tasting it because of his sore throat. He cringes and immediately understands the need for water as he chugs the whole glass.

"Damn Cas, you make drinking water look so sexy,"

He rolls his eyes but gives Dean a fond look. "Dean please, I'm sick,"

Dean chuckles. "Yeah I know, I'm an animal," he pushes back some of Cas's hair. "You want some soup?"

"That sounds good, thank you love,"

Dean smiles and kisses Cas's forehead before heading to the kitchen to make chicken noodle soup. It was Cas's first time being sick, so Dean was going with the classics. He thought about how cute Cas was sick, not knowing how to blow his nose and grins. He looked so miserable, but Dean was happy to take care of him.

Dean returned with the soup and a sandwich he had made himself so they could eat together on a tray. Cas was nodding off, but when he saw Dean he sat up in a better position as Dean placed the tray over his legs.

"Whoa there sleepyhead! You gotta eat first," Dean grinned as he sat across Cas on the bed.

Cas took the first spoonful of soup and smiled. "Dean, this is delicious,"

Dean smiled around his bite of sandwich and promptly swallowed. "It's nothing special—but it's the good stuff,"

"It is special coming from you," Cas smiled. "Thank you,"

"Anything for my angel,"

When they were done eating, Dean placed the tray on the desk so he could finally stay with Cas.

"Dean, I'm sleepy," Cas sank down under the covers.

"Go ahead and sleep Cas,"

"No, I want you to stay,"

"I will,"

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you lie next to me?"

Dean smiled fondly. "'Course Cas," he settled into bed next to Cas.

"I'm sure you wish to remain in certain proximity due to germs,"

Dean laughed lightly. "C'mere,"

Castiel scoots over and Dean wraps his arms around him as Cas does the same, snuggling in the crook of Dean's neck.

"Thank you for taking care of me,"

"Who else is gonna cuddle with you? I took care of you because I love you. It should be expected,"

"I wish to express my gratitude nonetheless," Cas said through a yawn.

"Alright sleepyhead, time to rest,"

Castiel hummed contently and drifted off almost immediately.


	10. Make Love All Day Long

**THIS CHAPTER IS BASICALLY 95% SMUT. AND MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT SUCH. I DON'T KNOW HOW I DID BUT ENJOY THIS ANYWAY. ****I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY AWKWARD WORDING SOMETIMES I LITERALLY COULDN'T WRITE I WAS REALLY PARANOID HAHA.**** IF THIS IS NOT YOUR THING, YOU CAN SKIP IT, NO HARM NO FOUL NO IMPORTANT THINGS MISSED. TO MY READERS/REVIEWERS: I LOVE YOU.**

**~rockleah**

_**Fallen**_

_**Chapter Ten: Make Love All Day Long**_

The first time Cas woke up with an erection, he was alone and he took care of it. The second time, well, that was different.

He was sleeping in bed with Dean, _their _bed as Dean called it now, only to wake up with his erection poking Dean's side. He felt embarrassed, yet he didn't want to move. It was too late for his brain to process any thoughts because Dean woke up not a moment later, smirking at Cas.

"Happy to see me?" Dean turned over and began kissing him lazily.

Castiel sat up. "Dean, I'm sorry—"

Dean followed his movement. "What're you apologizing for? It's natural Cas,"

Cas nodded. "Should I—take care of it?"

Cas felt Dean's hand move down his side where it lingered on his hip bone and shuddered.

"That's right, you're still new to this whole thing. Maybe I should _teach you_," Dean added a ton of suggestion.

"Teach me?" Cas replied, excitement rising throughout his body.

Dean's hand began teasing at the top of his sweatpants. "If you want to learn,"

"I want to learn, Dean," Castiel breathed.

Much to his displeasure, Dean moved his hand upwards and began to touch underneath his shirt, making Castiel's breath hitch.

"Dean,"

"Let's first take your shirt off," Dean slowly removed Castiel's shirt and threw it to the floor. "Now lay back against the headboard,"

Cas did what he was told.

Dean slides off Cas's sweats and boxers and wraps his hand around Cas's cock.

"Dean," Castiel's breathing quickens.

"Just relax, Cas. And pay attention,"

Dean sets a pace with his hand, and Cas is moaning and saying his name and _damn that's hot_. His skin is now flushed with pleasure.

"See what I'm doing Cas?"

"Yes, _yes _Dean,"

Dean keeps the pace and wipes some pre-come off Cas's head with his thumb, making Cas shudder. It isn't too long before he comes all over his chest and Dean's hand.

"I've learned a lot, Dean, thank you,"

Dean huffs a laugh. "No problem,"

"I should practice what I learned,"

"Whoa—Cas, you just came. Nobody has that kind of recovery time,"

"I wasn't talking about me," Cas smirks as his hands sneak under Dean's shirt.

Dean swallows. "O-_oh_,"

Cas takes off Dean's shirt, hands lingering, slowly being removed from his chest. He slides Dean's sweats and boxers off as Dean watches in a daze. Cas is about to give him a hand job. Cas—_Castiel_—fallen angel. _Holy shit_.

Cas took an unsure hold of Dean's cock and began to stroke like Dean had just taught him.

Dean sighed. "_Cas_,"

Cas went faster, and before Dean could catch his breath he was coming all over Cas's hand and his chest.

"_Fuck_, Cas,"

"Was that satisfactory?"

"Cas, that was fucking _awesome_,"

/

It was getting ridiculous how hard Dean was trying to control himself around Cas. He didn't know much about having sex with a dude and it made him freak out a bit, but Cas continued to wear the leather jacket that made Dean want to jump him and _it was unfair_. He was obviously doing it on purpose. Dean needed to be prepared, so he went to do some 'grocery shopping' alone. He picked up milk and various things that they needed after getting the item he hoped to hide from everyone in the damn bunker.

And of course Cas was helping Dean put away everything, looking a bit hurt he didn't come along.

And _of course _Cas found the damn bottle.

"Dean, what is this?"

And of course, Kevin and Crowley were around.

Dean scrambled and flailed toward Castiel, trying to hide the thing from the other two. Thank God they weren't paying too much attention.

"This is something for later," he winked.

Castiel titled his head.

Dean kissed him slow and pulled away. "It's why I went alone. It was going to be a surprise,"

"What is it?"

Dean put his mouth close to Castiel's ear and breathed, "Lube,"

Cas shuddered. "O-oh, I believe I understand,"

Dean smirked at him. "I'll go put it away,"

Castiel had a nervous excitement prickling beneath his skin. He had wanted things to go further with Dean for a while. The thought of finally being one with Dean was a bit overwhelming. Intercourse was such an intimate act, and Castiel wanted this so badly. He wanted to put all of his love into this act. He wanted to make love to Dean. He even did some research after learning how to use the internet, and may have watched some videos when he could get some time alone. He wanted everything to be perfect. And Dean was finally going to find out what he had said in Enochian.

Dean was nervous. Cas was still a virgin and had never done anything like this before. And _Dean_ had never done anything like this before. Okay, _maybe_ there was one girl who played with his ass, but that was it. He's thought about how it would be with a dude, but he's never had the balls to experiment. And _maybe_ one day he saw gay porn, but that was because he was curious. This—this was different. This was _Cas_. This was no one night stand or experiment. This was Cas's first time and it had to be special.

Cas was in the bathroom, so Dean took this time to think about how they were going to do this. He was obviously thinking too much. He took off his shirt, ran a hand through his hair, and sighed. He was almost too caught up in thoughts to feel the hands that snaked over his chest.

"Cas," Dean sighed as he felt Cas trail kisses along the back of his neck, his shoulders, and his back.

"I love you," he breathed.

Dean turned around and kissed Cas slowly and passionately. He licked over Cas's mouth for entrance, which Cas immediately complied. Cas moaned softly as Dean's tongue explored his mouth. He pulled Cas to him, pressing their bodies flush together, running his hands underneath Cas's t-shirt. Dean stopped the kiss to take off Cas's shirt and then began kissing along Cas's jaw and down his neck, his shoulder, and his collarbone.

"I love _you_," Dean breathed as he nibbled on Cas's ear, receiving a soft gasp.

Cas began kissing Dean forcefully and was pushing them toward the bed, and Dean thought it was pretty hot how Cas was taking control. Once Dean felt the back of his legs hit the bed, he sat down, spread his legs, and broke the kiss to mouth along Cas's chest. He stopped at a nipple and took it into his mouth receiving a moan from Cas.

"_Dean_," he breathed.

Dean grinned as he moved to the other nipple. The next thing he knows he's being pushed on the bed and Cas is straddling him, pressing their erections together. Dean lets out a moan of his own and Cas begins to kiss along Dean's chest, dipping his tongue into Dean's naval and kisses along his hip bones. It had been way too long since Dean last had sex because this was too overwhelming.

"Cas," Dean moans, "Cas, please,"

Green locks with blue and Castiel tilts his head, hands still on Dean's hips. "Please what?"

"Cas please, fuck me,"

Cas shivers but continues to kiss along Dean's skin and then takes a nipple into his mouth.

"Cas," Dean whimpers and feels Cas smirk against his skin.

"I am not going to _fuck_ you Dean,"

Dean shivers at the word coming out of Cas's mouth. "W-wha—"

Cas begins to take off Dean's jeans and boxers, and Dean's erection pops free. Cas takes off his sweat pants and presses their bare bodies together and hisses. Dean whimpers and runs his hands down Castiel's bare back.

Cas kisses Dean slowly and softly before whispering in Dean's ear, "Dean, do you want to know what I said to you in Enochian that night I was drunk?"

Dean shudders. "Why bring that up now?"

Cas gives Dean a smirk. "Don't you want to know?"

"Yes," Dean rocked his hips making Cas gasp.

"The first thing I said was 'I love you,'"

Dean smiled. "You sap,"

"Then I said, 'nice ass,'" Cas kissed along Dean's neck.

"Really? What did you whisper in my ear?"

Cas repeated the same phrase in Enochian into Dean's ear which made him shudder. "I said, 'I want us to make love until we collapse from exhaustion,'"

Dean felt himself get hot all over and he would not admit to the sounds that came out of his mouth as it rocked up toward Cas. "_Cas_,"

"Would you like me to make love to you, Dean?"

"Yes," he whimpered.

"Yes, what?"

Dean cursed. "Fuck—Cas, I want you to make love to me,"

Castiel smiled. "I've been doing research,"

"Research?"

Cas nodded and grabbed the lube that was on the nightstand and Dean spread his legs. "Fuck Cas, that's so hot,"

"I'm glad you appreciate it," Castiel slowly pressed a lubed finger to Dean's hole. Dean hissed and once the finger was in, it felt _good_. Too good.

Cas added a second finger and Dean was pushing against Cas's fingers, Cas finding his prostate. Dean's whole body shuddered as he let out a drawn out moan.

Cas smirked, proud he found it.

"Cas, please—_fuck_—I'm ready,"

Cas nodded and spread lube over his cock and pressed the tip against Dean's entrance. Dean relaxed and allowed Cas to push in slowly. Cas inhaled and once he was all the way in he moaned, the tight heat overwhelming him.

"_Dean_," Cas stared down at Dean in awe, flushed and beautiful. He stroked his cheek and kissed him quickly before looking back at him.

"Cas, _fuck_, you gotta move,"

Dean hooked his legs around Cas's hips and rocked his own upward, Cas somehow finding his prostate again. Cas began to rock into Dean, starting a rhythm that was slow and steady. They were making love.

Dean looked at Cas, jaw slack, eyes wide, hair sticking every which-way, and couldn't look away.

"Cas, you are so gorgeous," Dean mumbled as he brought Cas down for a sloppy kiss.

"Dean, oh, _Dean_," Cas was overwhelmed. It was his first time after all.

"It's okay, Cas, I got you,"

"You're…so…beautiful," Cas moaned as he came in for another sloppy kiss.

Cas couldn't look away from Dean as he continued to rock into him, Dean sometimes closed his eyes from the intensity, but he always looked back at Cas.

"Dean, I—_Dean_,"

Dean could tell Cas was close. Dean was close, too. "It's okay, Cas. Come for me,"

Cas's rhythm became erratic and he was coming into Dean, looking completely gorgeous as his orgasm hit him and putting Dean was right behind him, spilling white over their chests.

Dean pulled Cas close to lazily make out with him. "That was amazing, Cas,"

"I agree, it was amazing,"

"We should get cleaned up," Dean separated from Cas and got a washcloth to clean off their chests, then threw it on the floor to cuddle with Cas.

Dean inhaled the scent of Cas's hair. "You smell so good, Cas. Like sex,"

"You do, too," Cas moved his head to kiss Dean, hands roaming on Dean's chest. "I would like to do this again,"

"Yeah? We will, we will _definitely_ do this again,"

They were silent for a while, and Dean was on the verge of slipping into a blissful sleep when Cas speaks—his intentions obviously _not _sleeping.

"How did it feel—me being inside you?"

"_Cas_," Dean grumbled, "I'm sleepy,"

"Just answer the question, Dean,"

"Awesome, just _so good_. Why do you want to know?"

"Because I want you inside me," one of his hands was wandering low on Dean's stomach, stroking up and down.

Dean made a desperate noise. "Cas, you can't just say that, we need to sleep,"

"Do we?"

Dean saw the mischievous glint in his eyes and groaned. "You're killing me here,"

"But can't we—like that one Beatles song we listened to—make love all day long?"

Dean gives up and kisses Cas, rolling on top of him. The fucker was already half hard, probably imagining it. _Fuck_. "You're gonna be the death of me,"

Cas laughs and spreads his legs, fitting Dean between them. "I intend to lose my virginity _completely_ tonight,"

Dean peppers Cas's neck with kisses and lets out a low groan. "Fuck—Cas you're so hot. You want me inside you?"

He hums. "Yes, I want you to make love to me. I said we were to make love until we collapsed from exhaustion, did I not?"

"Cas, come on, if you're gonna talk dirty you're gonna have to talk dirtier than that,"

"I wasn't trying, Dean. I will save that for another time,"

"Geez, Cas," Dean chuckled.

"Dean, please—"

"Hurry up? Don't we have all night?"

"We will after I feel you inside me,"

"Okay, okay, shit Cas,"

"I've wanted you so bad Dean. Now I'll only want you even more,"

"Fuck—_Cas_," Dean grabs the lube and begins to prepare Cas, finger slowly breaching his hole.

"Dean, oh, that—_oh_," It was more pleasant than Castiel imagined.

Dean added a second finger and began to scissor, brushing Cas's prostate.

Cas let out a loud moan and began pressing back into his fingers. "_Dean_,"

"You ready for me, babe? Driving me crazy sounding like that,"

"Yes Dean—now,"

"You're bossy—I like that,"

"Dean, _now_,"

Dean smirked as he pressed his lubricated cock slowly into Cas's hole, while Cas tried to press back. Dean placed his hands on Cas's hips to steady him. "Slow down, angel. I don't want to hurt you,"

Castiel let out a frustrated sound and let Dean slowly fill him. Once Dean was completely sheathed in the tight heat of Castiel, he looked at the man under him. Cas was completely wrecked and flushed, so beautiful.

"Cas," Dean said tenderly before he lightly touched his lips to Cas's.

"Dean please, _move_,"

"Bossy," Dean mumbled fondly as he began to set a pace.

"_Dean_," Cas was overwhelmed once again, so much feeling and pleasure that he almost couldn't keep his eyes open.

"Cas, look at me,"

Cas forced his eyes open, and staring to Dean's made everything so much more intense. Dean looked beautiful, all messy hair and kiss-swollen lips, eyes filled with so much love. Cas was so close. "Oh, _Dean_,"

"Cas, oh—I'm gonna—"

"Come for me, Dean,"

Dean looking down at Cas as he says that and that's it. His movements stutter and he's coming, and Cas crashing there close behind and they ride out their orgasms together.

"Geez Cas," Dean panted as he laid next to Cas on their bed, "I'm glad you talked me into round two,"

Cas scooted closer and wrapped his arms around Dean. "I love you,"

"Love you, too," Dean buried his face in Cas's neck, content to fall asleep.

"Dean, the night isn't over yet,"

Dean grunted and curled closer into Cas. "'M sleepy,"

"I'll make it worth your while," and _holy shit_ did Cas's voice drop another fucking octave.

"You kinky son of a bitch," Dean mumbled, "Make it worth my while then,"

"The things I want to do to you Dean, things I researched—"

Dean gulped. "Yeah?"

"Yes, I want to come with your cock in my mouth,"

"Ffff-_fuck_," Dean groans.

"I want to taste you, swallow you down, watch you writhe beneath my mouth—" Cas is cut off by Dean's kiss, sloppy and a lot of tongue and teeth.

"You _are_ going to be the death of me,"

Cas smirks.

And they go again.

/

In the morning—or when Dean and Cas woke up, which was more like afternoon—they walked into the kitchen hand in hand to find Crowley and Kevin sitting at the counter eating lunch.

Crowley gave them a knowing look. "Sleep well?"

"Very well," Castiel replies sleepily, a dopey look on his face as he leans into Dean.

Dean smiles wide, tinting pink a bit. "Come on, let's eat. I'm starving,"

"I'd imagine," Crowley muttered, "you two probably gave it up at four in the morning,"

They completely missed that and began making pancakes together.

Kevin gave Crowley a disgusted look. "Seriously?"

Crowley rolled his eyes and nodded. "How the hell did you sleep though it?"

"I guess my mind was reeling from information," Kevin shrugged.

They both looked over at Dean, who was standing behind Cas with his arms wound tight around his waist and was peppering kisses to the back of his neck and had the sudden urge to leave them alone.

"We're not the only ones here, love," Cas smiled.

"We should have a lazy day today, babe. Just you and me, lying in bed all day,"

"Oh? _Just _lying?"

Dean chuckled. "Of course they'll be more events. _Lying in bed_ is just the general description,"

"Maybe after we have a shower,"

"Oh, I _really_ like the sound of that,"

Kevin cleared his throat. "Yeah, okay! We're right here,"

Dean turned his head slightly. "Sorry guys, I just can't keep away from my angel,"

"Keep in it the bedroom Winchester," Crowley snorted.

After breakfast and a nice long shower, Dean and Castiel retreated into the bedroom for their 'lazy day.' Crowley and Kevin didn't appreciate it at all.


	11. Finally

**BEFORE YOU READ THIS I WOULD LIKE TO MENTION THAT I HAVE THIS HEADCANNON ABOUT DEAN AND CAS BEING REALLY GROSSLY SWEET WITH EACH OTHER ONCE THEY ARE TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME AND IT TAKES A WHILE BEFORE THEY STOP BEING COMPLETELY GROSS AND THEN THEY JUST**_** ARE**_** OK? HAHA (EXPLAINS A LOT OF CH 9 NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT) SO YES THIS IS PRETTY GOOEY IN IT'S MOMENTS LOL [[I JUST REALLY THINK DEAN WOULD BE SO SWEET TO SOMEONE HE'S IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH OKAY DON'T JUDGE MEE IT'S MY DREAM WORLD]] AND OF COURSE, I LOVE YOU READERS/REVIEWERS!**

**~rockleah**

_Fallen_

_Chapter Eleven: Finally_

It had been two weeks.

Two weeks of worrying.

Two weeks of half-thinking Sam was dead.

And the fucker finally wakes up.

"Dean? What happened? Where am I?" Sam felt his voice extremely dry and the words came out hoarse and strained. He swallowed a couple of times trying to correct his dry mouth and throat. He needs water.

Dean had just left Sam's room when he began to stir. He stumbled back in. "Sam! Finally Sleeping Beauty wakes! We were watin' on you for two weeks,"

"Two_—two weeks_? Two weeks!"

"Yup, that's a pretty long nap. You're okay right? Nothing weird goin' on?" Dean patted Sam on the shoulder.

"No, I feel—I feel great. Better than I've felt in a long time,"

"Good," Dean embraces Sam quickly, relieved he's alright. "What about up here?" Dean pointed to his head. "You okay up there, too?"

Sam nodded, remembering everything that happened outside the church. Dean was obviously worried about what he had said. "Yeah, I am. I _really _am,"

"Really? You're not just saying that?"

"Really Dean, I mean it. I had a lot of time to think it over, two weeks stuck in my head is enough,"

While Sam was cleansing, he had time to himself inside his head. He decided to take Dean's advice. Sam let go. It was easy being trapped in his own mind for two weeks. He realized his issues weren't selfish and that everybody needs to be selfish every once in a while. It isn't even _selfish_ what he wants, just normal, even if their lives aren't exactly normal. Hell, Sam has helped save the world twice over—he deserves some "_me time_." And all of his insecurities? They weren't even an issue, nor did they even matter. He had done the best he could. Dean may have been disappointed in him a couple of times, but Sam was forgiven. Dean did everything for him because they've only got each other. Because they're brothers and nothing could ever change that. They're family and been through so much together. Together or not at all. He would always be _Sammy_, no matter who came into their lives—and they picked up some strays—and to think otherwise was and always will be a joke. Sam had to stop seeing Dean as above him, stop putting his big brother on a pedestal because they're both equals. They've both done things they regret and dealt with hard shit that came their way. And Sam can see that clearly now.

So he let it go.

Dean smiled. "G-great, great. And I'm really fucking _stoked_ you're awake right now,"

Sam turned to see Castiel walk in, dressed in different clothes. Looked like something Dean and him wear, but newer. "Cas?"

"Hello Sam, it's good to see you awake,"

"Thanks, it's great you're here,"

"He's human now,"

Sam stared at Dean in surprise. "Wait, is Crowley here?"

Dean nodded. "And Kevin,"

"With _Kevin_ here?"

"You said to take care of him and I listened to your last wish before you went comatose,"

"_Comatose_? Christ,"

"Yeah, you must be starving! Cas and I just made sandwiches a while ago. There's still a lot left,"

"So you guys kissed and made-up?" Sam recalled Dean's voice talking about loving Cas. Did they—?

"Yes, how did you—"

"It's a phrase, Cas. He didn't _literally_ mean we kissed,"

"But—"

Dean patted Cas on the back, laughing loudly. He looked at Dean curiously. Did he not want to tell Sam about them? Was he ashamed in front of his brother? Even knowing Dean so well, it still hurt that Dean tried to hide their relationship in front of Sam.

"What else did I miss?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"C'mon, eat first, news later,"

"Okay,"

Dean was a bit on edge, wondering how Sam would react to him and Cas, especially when he never talked to him about it._ Ever_. The one thing he kept from him this whole time were his feelings for Cas. He didn't want Sam to be freaked out or angry or however he could react badly. Then he saw the look on Cas's face when he brushed off the comments and tried to hide their relationship, and that was a blow to the chest. He knew he was being an asshole. He'll tell him after he gets some decent food in his system.

Sam followed Dean and Cas to the table where food was waiting. There were literally a _pile_ of sandwiches and some water which Sam promptly gulped down.

"Dean, why are there so many?"

Dean shrugged. "Cas likes makin'em,"

Sam nodded and sat down. Cas and Dean sat across from him. After Sam finished his third sandwich, Dean thought it was appropriate to talk about what had been happening.

"Sam, there's some big news you gotta hear about,"

Dean had Sam's full attention. "Shoot," he said around a mouthful of sandwich.

Cas cocked his head.

Dean smiled. "While you were asleep, uh, Cas and I did more than make-up,"

Sam swallowed quickly, face looking delighted. "Seriously?"

Dean took Cas's hand and interlaced their fingers together.

Sam grinned. "Finally,"

"_Finally_?" Dean mocked.

"Yeah, the looks you gave Cas, the ones he gave you. The way you talked about him when you came back from Purgatory. You kept seeing him everywhere, though that _was _actually him. Anyway, after Jess—I saw her everywhere. It was obvious, Dean. I'm your brother, I know you best, but I wasn't walking into _that _minefield,"

Dean glared. "Real supportive, Sammy,"

"You would've shot me down! You always do. You did after the crypt! You would've mocked me for talking about feelings and said _'And then we'll slow dance, Samantha,'_" Sam imitated Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes and Cas squeezed his hand. "You know that's true,"

Dean's expression softened when he met Cas's eyes. "You're right,"

Sam raised his eyebrows. They had gotten _worse_, if that was possible. Dean looked so happy and smitten. Sam almost laughed. "I heard you by the way,"

"What?"

"Well, I only remember one time clearly you talked to me while I was out cold. You told me you were in love with Cas and worried about him,"

"Damn, that was the day after you went comatose,"

Castiel turned to Dean. "That's what you were talking to Sam about while I got drunk off my guilt?"

Sam furrowed his brows.

Dean sighed. "Yeah, Cas. But you don't have to bring that up—"

Cas kissed Dean quickly. "I'm sorry. I must've worried you," he kissed Dean again.

"Cas, not in front of Sammy. His virgin eyes!" Dean laughed.

"Aww, you guys are cute,"

Dean looked at Cas. "Yeah we are, huh?" Dean kissed him slow and long, mostly to piss Sam off.

"Okay, okay! Now you're getting gross,"

"Deal with it,"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Anything else happen?"

"I taught Cas the basics: how to cook, how to shoot a gun—"

Sam snorted. "I see how that worked out! Straight out of a chick flick,"

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Did you teach him how to shower?"

Dean groaned and Cas nodded.

Sam laughed. "Was it, _steamy_?"

"You could say that—"

"Cas!"

Sam laughed. "Okay, I don't wanna know. Just, don't be _loud_,"

"Kevin and Crowley haven't complained, so I think—"

Cas cocked his head. "What do you mean?"

Dean rubbed his hands on his face. Sam looked at Dean with a smirk.

Dean murmured in Cas's ear so that Sam couldn't hear. "He means, when we have sex,"

"Oh, that makes sense. But no promises, Sam. Dean can be very desperate—"

"Cas! No need to go into details." Dean was completely red now.

Sam laughed. "Yeah, Cas. I don't need to know the extent of my brother's sex life,"

Cas nodded. "I apologize,"

"So, I gotta know, how did you guys finally start?"

"I couldn't sleep and had nightmares,"

"No way, you slept in Dean's bed?" Sam was grinning mischievously.

Dean glared. "He was scared, Sammy. I let him sleep on one side,"

"But?"

"But he had a nightmare and—and I held him,"

"Wow," Sam grinned, "I knew you were a cuddle-bug,"

Dean was about to make a snarky comment when Cas spoke first. "He really is,"

Sam laughed as Dean groaned. He would never live it down.

"Who kissed who first?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "I kissed him, the morning after,"

"You weren't kidding! That's how it started,"

"Yeah, yeah. Anything else Nancy Drew?"

"Which one is she?" Cas asked.

"The detective girl from the books," Dean replied.

"Oh," Cas chuckled lightly and Dean beamed at him.

"You guys are adorable,"

"You'll be sick of us soon, Sammy. Kevin and Crowley can't even eat with us anymore,"

"I'll bet, just keep it G around me okay?"

"G?"

"Like rated G, Disney stuff," Dean explained.

"Oh, we can do that,"

"Anything with the tablet?"

"Kevin's been going at that thing since you clocked out and hasn't gotten much. He's basically translated the spell to expel the angels for Heaven, a bunch of angel facts, and he's workin' on the next part,"

Sam nodded. "Anything hunt related?"

"No, we haven't done anything too heavy,"

Sam raised an eyebrow. "So, you've been here _playing house_ with Cas?"

"I wouldn't phrase it like that—"

"I'm surprised, Dean. I thought you'd be hunting more, trying to get rid of demons some other way, y'know, _murdering things_,"

"Yeah, well, I wanted you there,"

"Aww, Dean's gone soft,"

"Can it, Samantha. I look out for my family. And anyway, fallen angels wanna kill Cas,"

"Really? Holy shit,"

"Yeah, his grace completed the spell,"

"Why his grace specifically?"

"Metatron required the grace of an angel in love with a human to complete the spell," Cas explained.

Sam nodded and smirked. "So what? Is Castiel a Winchester now?"

"Dean did give me your last name," Castiel replied.

Sam smirked. "Marriage is a big step—"

"Sam, we are _not_ married. I gave it to him before we were—"

"Oh,"

"I wouldn't mind," Cas smiled.

"Really? It doesn't freak you out a bit?"

"Not in the slightest, Dean. I can't think of anyone I'd rather be with forever,"

Dean immediately relaxed. "Ditto,"

Sam burst into laughter. "Did you just quote _Ghost_?"

"Sam—" Dean groaned.

"Dean Winchester has turned into a chick flick moment king! No, _queen_!" Sam continued to laugh.

Dean rolled his eyes.

"But Dean_ is_ my king," Castiel ran his hand through Dean's hair, earning him a fond look.

"Seriously guys, you're practically married. I think I'm going to get diabetes from watching you,"

"Alright, alright, enough about us. Sam, you need to see Crowley, I mean, you did want him here,"

"Okay, but what do I say? I wanted to help him, but talking to him? We were enemies before now,"

"I dunno, just ask how he's doing. He keeps asking about you anyway,"

"Why?"

"Maybe 'cause you happen to have injected your blood into him?"

Sam sighed. "That's right. Where is he?"

"Probably somewhere cleaning," Castiel replied.

"_Cleaning_?"

"He really likes it,"

"And see Kevin, too!"

"Yes mother,"

"Bitch,"

"Jerk,"

Sam walked toward the library to see Crowley not in a suit just outside of it, which was really odd. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt and was _dusting_. In an _apron_. That was so much weirder than anything he's seen. And he's seen a lot of weird.

"Hey, Crowley. How are you?"

Crowley jumped at the sound of Sam's voice and looked at him with relief. "Sam! I'm so glad you're okay! I thought this was going to be my fault,"

"Uh, yeah I'm fine. But what about you?"

"I still feel terribly guilty sometimes, but other times I couldn't care less. It's a really odd switch, I guess it's the demon blood in me. I have more than I thought,"

Sam nodded. "Okay, why do you like cleaning so much?"

"Oh, Dean told you, huh? It's relaxing, and I can at least give you that much for taking me in. The least I could do,"

"Thanks,"

Crowley grinned. "I want to thank you for purifying me, almost at least. The things I did—at least I can't do things like that anymore,"

"Well, I thought we were gonna close the gates of Hell, so—you're welcome, I guess,"

"Oh, did Dean tell you about him and Castiel?"

"Yeah,"

"You won't be able to sleep,"

Sam blinked. "You're kidding,"

"I am not,"

"He said you and Kevin never complained,"

"Kevin is a heavy sleeper after working on that tablet all day. I, on the other hand, have to hear them. And sometimes it's the middle of the day! God, I can't get the image out of my head—"

"Yeah, okay I don't need the image either,"

"Good luck with them is all I'm saying. You'll be hearing moaning like right now,"

Sam was silent. He heard giggles in the distance.

"I wouldn't go back there if I were you. I almost walked in on them once. It was the most awkward situation ever. I will never try to clean their room again,"

"Yeah, okay. Thanks for the heads-up, I guess,"

"You're welcome to join Kevin and I at the kitchen counter for dinner. Those two can't keep off each other,"

"They were fine when I was eating with them, a little touchy, but—"

"_They_ weren't eating, were they?"

"Well, no—"

"Just wait until dinner. I bet we'll be eating all together to celebrate _Sam's great awakening_. You'll see for yourself,"

Sam nodded. "Okay, I'm gonna say hi to Kevin,"

Crowley nodded and continued cleaning.

Sam headed deeper in the library to where Dean had said Kevin was working.

"Hey, Kevin,"

"Sam! You're awake!"

"Yeah, I feel great. How's the tablet going?"

"Fine, I've translated a lot of material just about angels generally and I started translating the next parts. It seems to be about reversing the spell to make all fallen angels receive their grace back. There may be some sort of rule I need to translate,"

"Great! At least there's progress. What else do you think is on the tablet?"

"Possibly a way to bring back deceased angels,"

"Really? Have you told Cas?"

"Not yet, I don't want to be wrong, y'know,"

"I mean, we could bring back angels on our side!"

"Let me look into it,"

"Right, right,"

"I probably would've done it faster if Dean didn't baby me,"

Sam chuckled. "Yeah, he does that. He was basically my mother and father. Always had been,"

"That's right, I would say Dean is the mother and Cas is the father,"

Sam laughed. "That sounds about right,"

"So I take it you talked to Dean and Cas?"

"Yeah, I did. They aren't as bad as Crowley said, are they?"

"They _are_. You're gonna wanna avoid 'em like the plague,"

Sam sighed. "I'm gonna be stuck with them when we start hunting again."

"Good luck with that,"

"You okay here with Crowley?"

"Yeah, he's pretty cool. I mean, he didn't kill my mom. I feel like he's a lesson for all of us. A lesson to forgive,"

Sam nodded in agreement. "We need more of it, that's for sure. Keep at it, man. See you at dinner,"

Kevin nodded as Sam went back into the main room to find Dean curled up with Cas's head on his shoulder, carding a hand through his dark hair, humming contently. He smiled at the picture, but couldn't help feeling a bit of longing at the sight. Longing for something like that, something he had with Ame—no, he wasn't going to think about her.

"Hey guys,"

The both seemed to stiffen.

"Hey Sam, uh—"

"You might not want to get any closer,"

"_Cas_, I told you,"

"You're the one who was almost begging for—"

"_Cas_!"

Sam immediately turned around and headed the other way.

At dinner time, Sam understood what Crowley and Kevin were talking about. The two looked mainly at their food, occasionally glancing and talking to Sam and each other, and completely avoiding Dean and Castiel.

Because they were freaking _gross_.

They had made spaghetti, and were _feeding_ each other.

And giggling.

Giggling like school girls.

Sam looked over and saw Dean get some sauce off of the corner Cas's mouth _with his own mouth_.

_Oh god, they did the Lady and the Tramp thing with the spaghetti noodle_.

Oh yeah, they were freaking _gross_.

_When the fuck did Dean develop no shame?_

Dean proceeded to tell Sam all sorts of things that had happened over the two weeks. Most of them were related to Cas doing something_ adorable_ or funny, and it was really heartwarming.

"You guys _are_ gross. Stuck in the honeymoon phase,"

Castiel looked at Sam funny. "What does that mean?"

"We act like newlyweds in love," Dean grinned as he snuck another chaste kiss.

"Oh," Cas kissed him back.

"Jesus Christ," Sam groaned, "How am I gonna deal with you guys on a hunt?"

"That's right, we should try to look for another hunt,"

"Yeah, I'm gonna need my laptop for that since I'm doing the research. You guys won't be able to concentrate long enough to find anything. And we still have fucking Abaddon out there,"

"That's true," Dean grinned, and Castiel kissed his cheek in adoration.

Dean turned and kissed him in response, _giggling_.

"For fuck's sake!" Crowley groaned.

"Hey, you were the one teasing us the whole time we weren't actually together. _Your_ fault,"

Crowley growled.

They ate the rest of their meal turned away from Dean and Cas.

/

"Dean, where's my laptop?" Sam called from outside of Dean's—_Cas_ and Dean's—room, unable to locate it in his room. He knocked only to hear giggling on the other side. Gross.

"Library!" Dean called.

"_Dean_,"

_Was that a moan?_

"Shh Cas, Sammy's outside!"

Gross.

Sam went to the library where he found his laptop on one of the tables. As he opened it, he saw the browser opened—_on a gay porn site_. He closed it immediately, only to be met with Dean and Cas staring at him.

"What. The. _Hell?!_"

"I apologize, Sam. I tried to warn Dean back in the room, but he thought I meant something else—" Cas cleared his throat. "—I simply did some research for Dean. I am inexperienced—"

"Okay, let me stop you right there. Yeah, sure. Bedroom tricks. Just—close it for me,"

Castiel took the laptop and closed the browser for Sam. "Again, I apologize—"

"It's okay, I was out cold. Just—never again."

"Understood,"

"I'm flattered, Cas," Dean wrapped his arms around Cas's waist from behind and rested his head on his shoulder.

"Go back to the bedroom, Jesus," Sam ran a hand over his face.

"With pleasure,"

They disappeared just like that.

It had only been half a day since Sam was awake and he already developed a headache.


	12. Up To No Good

**YES FINALLY SOME ACTION! RIGHT? OKAY SO OBVIOUSLY ABADDON MAKES AN APPEARANCE IN THIS CHAPTER AND I KNOW I'VE SEEN THE PREVIEWS OF S9 AND SHE KEEPS HER ORIGINAL MEATSUIT BUT I FEEL LIKE IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE SOME VARIETY IN MEATSUITS OK? I MEAN, SO MUCH WHITENESS AMIRITE? ANYWAY I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER I LOVED WRITING IT.**_** REALLY**_** LOVED WRITING IT. AS ALWAYS A BIG THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU TO THE READERS/REVIEWERS**

**~rockleah**

**(ps I may or may not have used Google maps to make this really accurate)**

_**Fallen**_

_**Chapter Twelve: Up To No Good**_

Sam has started researching any recent news that could possibly have to do with demons and found nothing. Abaddon was still out there and that didn't look good with a missing King of Hell. Now that Sam thinks about it, he wonders why demons weren't causing havoc without Crowley giving orders. It's one of those "_it's quiet, too quiet_" moments where thinking something bigger is going on that's not being noticed is the right line of thinking. _Something_ was definitely going on with the demons, and if they're answering to Abaddon or not was something that they needed to figure out.

On the fallen angel front, Sam discovered a lot of news articles about herds of people suddenly appearing sleeping in random areas all around the country. The main theory was that it was some sort of protest, but no one knew what. These people were described as acting oddly, possibly on drugs. Some of them were considered dangerous, others were considered insane, but most of them were being contained in the according facilities. Fallen angels were being arrested, put in prisons, or put in asylums.

When Castiel heard the information he pushed Dean away and locked himself in the bathroom—Dean literally sitting outside the door the whole time talking to him—when he finally came out, he refused any touch Dean gave him. He just pushed Dean away and squirmed out of embraces, leaned away from kisses, mumbling about not deserving his affection while his brothers and sisters were being put away in prisons because of him. The brothers tried to reason that many probably were still out there and living just fine, or at least getting by, though that didn't seem to make a difference.

Dean was hurting pretty bad the whole day, trying to reach out to Cas and being shut out. When you're trying desperately to hold the one you love and they physically push you away and run away from you it's not a good feeling. Even so, Dean couldn't just leave Cas to his destructive thoughts. Sitting outside the bathroom, Dean rattled on about every good thing Cas has done, and even when he got out and rejected his affection once more, Dean did not give up trying to reason with him.

That night, when Castiel realized how stupid he'd been, he hugged Dean in their room saying "sorry," "I'm so stupid," and "I love you" between kisses, which Dean accepted with a fond smile. Cas paid complete attention to Dean, touching and kissing every part of his body, worshiping it, a silent promise to love all of him always, even when bad things happen.

That next day, Sam finally found something worth looking at. A young woman in Topeka, Kansas was found seriously injured wobbling down the street, allegedly running away from someone. The man who found her heard her mumbling about torture, other girls, and evil before passing out. The young woman—whose name is Jamie Fields—is currently in stable condition at the local hospital with odd cuts on her body. Torture, odd cuts—yeah, Sam was going with _demons_.

"Topeka it is!" Dean had exclaimed when Sam presented the case. "As long as you're ready to go Cas,"

Cas sighed. "I'm not a child, love,"

"I-I know, I mean, some of those fallen angels wanna kill you,"

"I'll be fine, Dean,"

Sam nearly groaned. "Okay, but I'm riding shotgun,"

"What?" the two turned to him in unison.

"I need my leg room, and I don't need Dean to be too distracted to drive,"

"I'm not going to be distracted!"

"And I don't want you feeling each other up on the way there,"

"Sam—"

"Don't_ Sam_ me, I deserve at least one ride in the front,"

"It's alright Sam, I'll sit in the backseat,"

"Cas!"

"Thank you,"

Dean pouted. "Fine _bitch_,"

"Jerk,"

"Assbutts,"

The brothers turn to Cas and start cracking up.

They headed out without incident, giving Crowley a phone just in case they need information from either the bunker or from Crowley's own knowledge.

They ended up getting to Topeka late at night, enough time to book a motel and prowl the bars for information.

"Maybe you should sit this one out Sammy, let Cas and I chat up the locals, and you can chat up a lady to take back to your own room," Dean suggested.

Sam groaned. "Dean, I don't need to get laid,"

"Geez, you barely got out of a fucking coma, you should just try and relax a little,"

"Being in a coma for two weeks _should _count as relax time,"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Whatever man,"

They head to the bar, Dean and Cas getting their own table while Sam sits at the counter to chat up the bartender.

"I'll get us some drinks, babe," Dean nods.

"Right, I'll remain here,"

Cas watches Dean as he heads over to the bar, not interested in looking elsewhere.

"Hey cutie,"

Castiel looked at a woman that had suddenly appeared in his face and was confused. "Hello,"

She leaned closer to him, her shirt barely covering her breasts. "What's a guy like you doing sittin' here alone?"

Castiel was _extremely_ confused. "A guy like me?"

"Don't act like you don't know!" she flipped her obviously dyed-red hair over her shoulder. "I'm Danielle,"

"Castiel," he was still confused, but knew their purpose at the bar was to get information so he began to talk to her. "Have you heard about Jamie Fields?"

"Yeah, that chick who got attacked. Poor girl,"

"I wonder how strange her injuries were,"

"I heard the cuts were in strange patterns. It could be a serial killer or something, it's really creepy,"

"I see, strange patterns," Cas began to think of any reason for strange incisions to be placed upon a body.

Danielle giggled. "You're really cute when you squint like that,"

"Oh, thank you,"

She whispered in his ear, "If you want, we can get out of here,"

Dean looked on as some girl was chatting up Cas. This was_ not_ happening. Cas probably thought he could get information about the case from her. Poor bastard probably didn't know the girl was flirting with him—yup, that head tilt proves it. Now she was whispering in his ear. _Oh, hell no_. Jealousy coursed through his veins and he thought _mine_ as he stormed over to where Cas was sitting.

"Hey angel, who's she?" Dean smirked as he grabbed Cas by the waist and kissed him passionately.

Castiel smiled and said breathlessly, "Hello love,"

Danielle looked really embarrassed. "I-I was just leaving,"

Once she was a safe distance away Dean turned to Cas. "Did you know she was flirting with you?"

"She was? She gave me good information and suggested leaving as you approached,"

Dean nearly growled as he began to kiss along Cas's neck. "I don't want _anybody _flirting with my angel,"

"I believe this is called jealousy. Dean, are you jealous?"

"Very," Dean gathered Cas in his arms and kissed him deeply.

"Are you always this possessive when you're jealous?"

"Maybe," Dean began kissing along Cas's jaw line.

"Well, maybe girls should flirt with me more often,"

Dean groaned. "No,"

Cas chuckled.

"You'd hate it,"

Cas head tilt #4. "Would I?"

Dean whispered in Castiel's ear. "Imagine me making out with some chick,"

Dean faced Cas to see his face completely changed from joy into one of complete anger and distress.

"You have your smiting face on,"

Castiel kissed Dean possessively, sloppy and rough.

Dean chuckled.

"Don't ever do that to me again," he growled.

Dean smirked. "I dunno, it was pretty hot when you did that,"

Castiel narrowed his eyes as Dean took him by the hand and led him toward Sam.

"Anything?"

"Nope, nobody knows much,"

"Cas got some info," Dean nodded for Cas to explain.

"Danielle said that there were strange patterns carved onto Jamie's skin,"

"Strange patterns?" Sam questioned.

"Yes, apparently these demons are searching for a specific person,"

"Really?"

"Patterns on the skin generally represent a specific spell or ritual to reveal something about a person or a creature. We have to check the incisions tomorrow to be sure what exactly they're looking for. Even then, we may not find anything,"

"Well shit," Dean said gracefully.

"Alright, I guess we should head back and get some shut eye so we can FBI in the morning,"

/

"Jamie Fields, I'm Agent Harrison, these are my partners Agent Page and Agent Waters. We'd like you to answer a couple of questions," Sam began in his _we-have-to-be-gentle-victim-is-traumatized _voice.

"Oh! Of course, anything! I really want these people caught," Jamie seemed well despite what she had been through. Her light brown hair was kept and she looked well, vibrant even.

Dean nodded. "Can you tell us everything you know?"

Jamie took a deep breath. "So I was walking home a few nights ago when I was grabbed by a group of men, I don't know who they were because they blind-folded me, gagged me, and bound my hands with duct tape so fast. I never saw their faces, but could hear them talking about getting me back 'to the place.' In the next second I was thrust into a room full of other girls. I could hear their muffled cries. It was awful. I started to hear screams and laughter and then I was the one screaming. They hooked my hands to a hook, which is how I got away. The hook cut the tape around my wrists and I ran. I had thought I was close to where I was grabbed, but I was completely across town. I don't even know how that's possible—one second in was being grabbed, the next I was in a house. I sound crazy,"

"No, you're not crazy, believe me," Sam smiled slightly.

Jamie let out a breath. "Okay, there was a woman there, I'm sure. She was the one cutting into me. I heard her say something like 'Are you the one, my little beauty?' I never saw her because I ran away so fast,"

"That's okay, do you remember where the house is?"

"Yeah, it was an abandoned house on Washburn Avenue off of 10th. It was too dark to get an address, but it seemed like the only abandoned one in the area,"

"Jamie, if you don't mind, we'd like to see the incisions," Castiel stepped forward.

"Right, Agent Waters is a specialist with cuts, which is why there are three of us here today," Dean chimed in.

"Have you found other people with cuts like mine? Do you think it would help?"

Castiel smiled slightly. "Of course it will help, as long as you consent to reveal them to us,"

Jamie nodded quickly and lifted up her hospital gown to reveal a swirling pattern dug into her hip zigzagging down to her thigh.

"Oh my," Cas breathed under his breath.

"What is it?" Jamie asked.

"It's the same as the others," Cas quickly covered.

"Well, thank you Jamie, I believe we got exactly what we needed," Dean turned to leave.

"Have a nice day," Sam added as he followed Dean and Cas out.

"Cas?" Dean asked once they left the hospital room.

"The marks were a way to look into the soul, part of a spell,"

"Look into the _soul_?" Dean asked.

"Yes, very much how angels can see human souls whenever they wish. This allows whoever is casting the spell to see a glimpse,"

"Okay, so what would Abaddon or other demons need to find in a particular human soul?" Sam questioned.

"I'm not sure, but it's possible it has to do with the power that comes from souls. Even that may not be the case. Souls are _tricky_,"

"At least we have some sort of idea,"

"Okay, so the next place we go is the abandoned house," Sam added.

"It's always the fucking abandoned houses. Why can't they just possess a rich person for once? Then we can stake out a nice mansion, stay there in comfort while demons are out," Dean whined.

Sam rolled his eyes as Cas chuckled.

/

They investigate the abandoned house on Washburn Avenue, finding it completely empty, save for the pool of dried blood on the carpet in the corner below a hook.

"Well, they've definitely been here," Dean gestured to the corner.

"Yeah, no shit," Sam snorted. "We need to find evidence of _why_,"

"I don't know, it seems they cleaned up well. No doubt Abaddon is behind this after all. She obviously doesn't want the _Winchesters _snooping around,"

"Hey, don't say it like you ain't one. You're part of us now, babe,"

"Well, if it isn't the bastards I wished to avoid," a smooth, eerie voice called.

The three spun around quickly to face a woman of Spanish origin, long sleek black hair, plump lips, shapely body, and piercing hazel eyes until she blinked, revealing her demonic black.

"Abaddon," Dean spat.

"That's right, I never knew you were the wiser,"

"Fuck off," Sam growled.

"Yes, I'm back and better than ever, thanks for that Sam. I mean, look at this beautiful body. I'm so proportionate. I have a nice figure, nice sized breasts—"

"We get it! And we know you're looking for something," Sam huffed.

"I _am_ looking for something,"

"We'd like to find out what, and don't doubt we won't," Dean snarled.

Abaddon rolled her eyes and paid attention to Castiel. "Oh, poor fallen angel. I should actually thank you for letting those pretentious fools come down to earth. I wouldn't have the information I have now,"

Castiel narrowed his eyes. "No,"

"Oh yes! Do you know Baliel? She was quite easy to catch, and she was a screamer,"

Cas's eyes widened. "Baliel?"

"She nearly _vomited_ the information to me to have her life sparred. Ha! As if I am that merciful. I got the information and killed her. Humans are so weak,"

Castiel was shaking with anger. "Shut up,"

"I could go into detail on how I cut her fingers and toes off one by one, joint by joint, until she began to talk. How she _screamed_, begging me to stop,"

"You bitch," Castiel spat, attempting to lunge for her as Dean held him back.

"Cas," Dean soothed, "calm down, she's trying to get to you,"

"Baliel was the most kind! She looked after newborn infants and children you heartless piece of filth!"

"Cas! Cas, stop! Can't you see she's trying to provoke you? Take a deep breath,"

Cas did so and turned to Dean. "Sorry,"

"That's it babe, good, it's okay,"

Abaddon raised a well-groomed eyebrow and looked between the two. "_Babe?_ You two are—?" she huffed a laugh. "This is too rich!"

"That's none of your concern. What _is_ your concern is when we get a hold of you," Castiel spat.

"Right, I don't think you'll get lucky a second time boys. And don't even_ try_ to get me to tell you what I'm looking for—or who—because I won't tell you,"

"We don't need you to tell us anything. We'll find out ourselves," Sam retorted.

Abaddon laughed. "You're lucky I know for a fact that you won't stop me. Killing you would be meaningless,"

"Keep talking princess, we'll kill you eventually,"

"Ha! That's funny. I'm pretty sure I'll be_ queen _of this Earth by the time I'm done with my plan. As long as he will have me, oh and I do hope he'll have me,"

"_He_?" Sam and Dean asked in unison.

She snorted. "If I told you, it would ruin the tragic look on your faces when I succeed,"

"Don't tell me you're trying to release Lucifer. That would be pointless, as Michael is in there with him. It's counterproductive," Castiel replied.

Abaddon smirked. "Oh Castiel, thinking you're so smart,"

"Like hell you're taking Earth," Dean growled.

"Exactly,"

"We won't allow it," Castiel added.

"What are you going to do Castiel? You're not an angel. I wonder why they keep you around being so_ useless_. Dean must _really_ like the sex—"

"Shut the fuck up! Stop trying to manipulate us, it's not going to work," Dean snarled.

"Touchy, touchy. Nonetheless, I'll destroy you if you ever manage to significantly get in my way. I've wasted enough time here. Bye-bye babies," she paused, "By the way, thanks for letting me free,"

And she was gone.

"Son of a bitch," Dean cursed.

Sam ran a hand through his hair. "What the hell are we going to do? Do you really think she's trying to release Lucifer, Cas?"

"It's a possibility," Cas mumbled.

"Are you okay?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Cas? Don't tell me what that bitch said got to you. You know I fucking love you, so fucking much," Dean wrapped his arms around Cas.

"But she's right, I'm so useless,"

"Dammit Cas, you gotta stop that," Dean took Cas's face in his hands. "You're amazing. You're so useful. Sam and I would've never figured out what that pattern on Jamie's body was without you. And you're worth so much more to us—to _me_—than a tool. You should know that,"

Cas looks down and Dean kisses his nose. "I said, you should knowthat,"

"I do know that," Cas sighed. "I just feel inadequate without my grace,"

"Don't feel that way. You're still my angel,"

Castiel smiled. "Thank you , love,"

Dean took Cas's hand. "That's what I'm here for gorgeous. Come on, you deserve a nice diner burger,"

"You just want the pie," Sam mumbled.

"Nu-uh, I'm thinking of Cas,"

Cas smiled fondly at Dean. "No, you're not,"

"Traitor,"

They all start laughing as they get into the car and drive off.


	13. Guess Who's Back Again

_**Fallen**_

_**Chapter 13: Guess Who's Back Again**_

Gabriel wasn't dead. He was so alive it wasn't funny. Oh, thought he was dead? He's not called the trickster for nothing. His death? An illusion. But now he had nothing. His grace was taken just like his brothers and sisters falling from the sky. Only one thought came to his head.

_Fucking Winchesters._

Gabriel was going to find those fuckers one way or another. He had kept tags on them to make sure they were safe, because Gabriel had a soft spot for those brothers—mostly Sam since he could identify with him as a little brother himself—so he knows that they are definitely in Lebanon, Kansas. Exactly where, he didn't know, but he was on his way to the middle of the US anyway. He had conjured up some credit cards when he was still an angel, so at least he had a way to eat and get some transportation. It took him a week of busing it to even _arrive _in Lebanon, and then motel room to motel room combing the streets for a '67 Chevy Impala. It was two weeks before he even spotted the damn car in a grocery store parking lot.

_Finally._

Gabriel did his best to act cool—he'd been in the same clothes for the nearly three weeks, having to hand-wash them in the bathtub and had grown a bit of a beard—because he didn't look his best. He looked around every aisle, hoping to get a glimpse of the sasquatch or his butch brother, but—_Castiel?_

"Castiel!" he stormed over to his brother who seemed to be living some sort of normal life. What the _hell_?

Cas turned around to see a very angry Gabriel (at least he thought it was Gabriel around that beard), yet he was very happy to see him. "Gabriel? Is that you?"

"Cas? What's goin' on?"

_Lo and behold—the closeted brother._

"Gabriel is alive,"

"_Gabriel_? You're joking,"

"It _is_ me, under all this beard,"

Dean gaped at him. "What the hell man? We thought you were dead!"

_And as angry as ever._

"Cool it, Dean-o. Did you expect me to _really_ die?"

"Dude, have you been alive this_ whole_ _time_?"

Gabriel nodded.

"What the hell? We could've used your help,"

"I wasn't of any use besides letting you escape. And anyway you guys did just fine, like I knew you would,"

"Oh yeah? Listen here you little—"

"_Dean_,"

"Okay, alright, I'll shut up,"

_Whipped. How hilarious!_

"Gabriel, you are human correct?"

"Nah, I just felt like sporting a beard and busing it all the way from LA,"

"Looks like the trickster's outta tricks," Dean smirked.

"Yeah whatever, still killed you 100 times. What the hell happened to make me human?"

Castiel looked away. "That's a long story,"

"And where's the gigantor?"

"Sam's at the bunker,"

"Cas, do we really have to tell him?"

"Dean, he _is_ my brother. And you promised we'd take in fallen angels. Don't you recall?"

Dean grumbled under his breath, "It's not like he just said he killed me 100 times,"

"Thank you," Cas kissed Dean on the cheek.

He looked between the two. _Dean _was_ whipped. Like, for real_. "Whoa, you are _totally_ banging my bro,"

"Gabriel, that is inappropriate to discuss in the middle of the marketplace,"

"So it is true? I knew it! God, you guys took long enough. Was it really Castiel becoming human that got you to take that extra step? You guys are so sappy,"

They were both a bit red in embarrassment.

"Yeah, yeah, what can I say? I love Cas,"

Castiel looked at him fondly before kissing him. "And I love Dean,"

"Okay, geez, no need to make this so gooey,"

"Would you like to come back with us, Gabriel? There is plenty of room at the bunker,"

"You would really take me in?"

"Yeah, I promised Cas. And anyway, he looks happy to see you,"

"Alright, thanks. It's not like I have anyone else to turn to,"

"We just have to pay for groceries, and then we'll explain everything to you on the way to the bunker," Castiel seemed to hum with excitement as they made their way to checkout.

"A bunker, huh?"

"Yeah, the Men of Letters. Heard of 'em?"

"Not in a long time. Don't tell me you're—"

"Yup, our grandfather was one of 'em,"

"Geez, you Winchesters, always involved in something. _Everything_,"

Dean snorted and got in line with Cas.

"When did you guys start getting groceries?"

"Since we actually have a kitchen for food,"

"Wow, you guys look so fuckin' married. It's hilarious,"

Dean rolled his eyes.

They paid for the groceries and were on their way to the bunker. Dean explained everything from the tablets to Kevin to the trials to close hell to Crowley to Metatron to angels falling and Sam's coma.

"I always knew Metatron was a weirdo. I can't say I didn't fuck with him. And Sammy was out cold for _two weeks_?"

"Yeah,"

"And not only that, but you're chillin' with a prophet and a mostly-cleansed-of-demon-King-of-Hell! This is like _supernatural_ nanny, and Dean's the nanny,"

Castiel laughed, which delighted Gabriel, while Dean was grumbling something about being right.

"But seriously, the King of Hell?"

"Crowley is very useful, Gabriel,"

Gabriel snorted. "_Really_?"

"He cleans—dusts, sweeps, mops, and really enjoys laundry,"

Gabriel snickered. "Interesting, I bet he's wearing an apron and humming David Bowie,"

"How did you know? He's very fond of David Bowie,"

Gabriel flinched slightly.

Dean laughed. "You hit the nail on the head on that one,"

"So, you guys are really gonna let me stay with you? I mean, I was pretty hard on you guys, even if my intentions were—"

"Gabriel, it's fine," Dean sighed. "You're the first fallen angel we've met that didn't want to strangle Cas,"

"Oh, they blame you, bro?"

"Yes, they blame me,"

"Well that fucking sucks. Not your fault you fell in love with this bastard. He's _so_ irresistible,"

Dean nearly groaned. "You can have Cas's old bedroom,"

"That's right, you share a room and a _bed_—"

"Shut it Gabriel,"

He sighed. "Okay, okay. But seriously, I can barely do anything humans need to do. Hence the beard. I only know about showering and going to the bathroom and I had to learn how to clean my one pair of clothes, and I'm pretty sure I did that wrong, but at least they smelled better. I can't even cook. I mean, I did survive these two weeks but—"

"Seriously? Whaddya eat?"

"Crappy diner food. And I lived in and out of motels with fake credit cards I conjured up just in case I needed them,"

"A hunter's life," Dean nodded.

"So, you're still gonna take me in? I'm totally useless,"

"You ain't _useless_ and I promised Cas,"

"Regardless, we'd love to have you," Castiel added.

"I'll let Sammy deal with you. I taught Cas all he knows, and it's time for Sam to teach someone. I'm tired of being mother hen,"

Gabriel snorted. "Sam, huh? So what? He'll teach me how to shave?"

"I guess that's lesson number one," Dean said as they pulled to a stop in front of the bunker.

"You live _here_?"

"It's quite larger on the inside,"

"Yeah, like a _TARDIS_," Dean smirked. He received confused looks from both fallen angels and rolled his eyes. "Let's go inside,"

Dean and Cas managed to gather everyone to the center of the bunker.

"Hey Sam," Gabriel smirked as he caught a glimpse of the human.

"No way, is that—?"

"The one and only—100% human,"

"_Gabriel_? You're alive? But I thought—"

"Hold on, the _archangel Gabriel_? There's no way—" Crowley began.

"That's right your _majesty_,"

"Wow, an archangel! I didn't know there were any left," Kevin gaped.

"Neither did we," Dean added, "Gabriel here decided to fake his friggin' death,"

Sam glared. "Oh, real nice there, Gabe,"

"_Gabe_? Aw, thanks for the nickname, Sammy,"

"We could've used your help!"

"Hey, I don't serve you guys, y'know!"

"But it would've been nice if you tried to help. Even after the apocalypse," Sam growled.

"That is all beside the point. Gabriel is my brother and will remain here. Sam, Dean has said you will be Gabriel's teacher. Would you please teach him how to do human things?"

"What? _Me_?"

"Your turn, Sam. I've done enough teaching for two fucking lifetimes. Time for you to play big brother,"

Sam snorted. "That's not what you were doing with Cas,"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Stop complaining, _Samantha_,"

"Whatever you say, _Dean-a_,"

"Bitch,"

"Jerk,"

"This is all really nice, but I'd like to learn how to shave now, if you don't mind. It's been itching like a bitch,"

"G'on Sam,"

Sam sighed. "Alright, come on Gabriel,"

Gabriel followed Sam to the bathroom, pleased that Sam would help him learn how to be human. After watching Sam and killing Dean a hundred times, Gabriel developed a soft spot for the giant. How soft? Gabriel himself didn't even know at this point.

"You still hate me for killing your bro a hundred times?"

Sam chuckled. "I don't _hate_ you, pissed is a better word, but I should've thanked you. I mean, I may have turned to a demon and demon blood right after Dean d—but thanks to you I lived without Dean for months and was able to get shit done. And you were trying to show me what it's like to lose a big brother after you lost yours,"

Gabriel was taken aback by Sam's response. He felt—strange. Something he never felt before. Like he was self-conscious all of a sudden, _vulnerable_. "Oh, well—you learned the lesson then,"

They stepped into the bathroom and Sam filled the sink with warm water before handing Gabriel a razor.

"Pay attention," Sam said as he turned off the water and grabbed the shaving cream, "This is what you do,"

He proceeded to lather up the cream in his hands and spread it on Gabriel's beard.

"You gotta cover all the hair you wanna get rid of,"

Gabriel paid attention (maybe too much attention) as Sam began to touch his face. The feeling startled him, his face felt hot, and his heart rate increased. Gabriel stared at Sam's face as he spread the cream on his beard, looking at the way his hair swept in his face every so often and admiring his eyes and how they always seemed to change color depending on the light. Gray? Blue? Green? All there, and it was mesmerizing.

"See? Everything covered. Always use the mirror,"

"What next?" Gabriel's voice was strained and he felt a bit dazed. _No this isn't possible—_

Sam cleaned his hands with the water in the sink. "You start shaving. Put the razor close to your face—" he gave Gabriel the razor and took his hand, "—and pull down gently," he did so.

"And then you clean the razor in the water and repeat. Try it,"

Gabriel swallowed and nodded. When did his throat get so dry? He continued to shave his beard off as Sam instructed. When he was done, he saw Sam grinning at him.

"An angel shaving, huh?"

"Shut it, Sam, teach me. Now what?"

"Let the water go and wash the remaining cream off your face,"

Gabriel did so, face a bit flushed.

Sam smirked. "Are you embarrassed?"

"No,"

"You are!" Sam chuckled. "An archangel, needing advice for _shaving_, this is priceless,"

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. "What else do you have to teach me?"

"Well, you should learn how to shoot a gun, but maybe I'll teach you how to cook first,"

"_Cook_? Doesn't everybody in this bunker know how to cook? It's not important that I learn,"

"Oh, yes it is, since you're human,"

"Won't that Kevin prophet guy find a way to get my powers back, anyway?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "You're like a child, Gabriel,"

Gabriel frowned. "What, no nickname? I liked it when you called me Gabe,"

"Okay, _Gabe_. There's no guarantee the angel tablet has a solution for this,"

"What if it does?"

"Then you'll have fun cooking,"

Gabriel groaned. "Fine, sasquatch,"

"C'mon, we can start already,"

"I am a bit hungry,"

"See? Now you can make yourself some dinner,"

"Yeah, yeah,"

Sam was amused with Gabriel here—and that he was going to be in charge of him—especially teaching him how to shave. He did it so carefully, afraid of cutting himself like Sam when he was teenager. It was a bit of a relief, actually. Gabriel being here meant Sam had someone to _hang-out_ (Christ, was he really using that word?) with, so to speak. He could easily avoid Dean and Cas. Kevin was usually busy and Crowley was good to talk to, but not really buddy material. Gabriel could turn out to be a great friend.

"Hey, you gonna teach Gabriel how to cook?" Dean asked as they entered the kitchen.

"Yeah, where's Cas?" Sam replied.

"Ha, ha, like he's connected to me by the hip," he muttered.

"He kinda is," Gabriel added.

"Whatever," Dean grabbed some popcorn. "Movie marathon,"

"Right," Sam nodded as Dean exited the kitchen. He turned to Gabriel. "What would you like to eat?"

Gabriel thought for a moment. "Cake,"

Sam chuckled. "You _are_ a child. No, not cake, a _meal _not a dessert,"

"Well, what should I eat then? _Salads_ like you, green giant?"

Sam bitch face #8. "If you want salad, you can eat some. I thought you'd want a burger or something,"

"Burgers are easy to cook, right?"

Sam sighed. "That's not the point, but yeah, fairly simple,"

"Burgers it is,"

After a frustrating session of burger making, Sam and Gabriel ate at the counter together.

"Where were you when you lost your grace?"

"LA, Hollywood to be exact. I was hoping to get into Scarlett Johansson's pants—y'know, who wouldn't try it?"

Sam glared, obviously judging Gabriel. "_Really_?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Whatever, I was actually about to snag myself some Bradley Cooper—"

"Wait, hold on—_Bradley Cooper_?"

"What? He's hot,"

Sam blinked a couple of times in confusion.

"Oh come on, Sam! I'm an angel—or was—I didn't have a _gender _or whatever. A hot piece of ass is a hot piece of ass,"

"I just—I never—"

"Anyway—I get so close to zapping myself into Bradley Cooper's wife and BAM! Graceless,"

"Wow,"

"It was such a cock block,"

"But, wouldn't you have had a vagina?"

"Whatever, _specifics_. The first thing that came to mind was you Winchesters. I had kept tabs on your general whereabouts—"

"Why?"

"Oh come on, I needed an opportunity to make Dean fuck Cas one of these days, but who knew he'd do it on his own?"

"Gross, yeah, okay continue,"

"I knew you were somewhere in Lebanon, but I could never pinpoint exactly—probably because of this bunker. I mean, even with the rib engravings I could still find you by scanning the area. Instead, I had to bus it over here and look for that damn car,"

"A bus?"

"Two buses actually, and I had to use fake credit cards to get food."

"Fake credit cards? Seriously?"

"I had them conjured up a while ago, I use them on the rare seducing occasion,"

Sam rolled his eyes and Gabriel continued. "Once I got to Lebanon, I stayed all over the city in motels and walked around the area looking for that stupid car. I'd hoped you'd be in a motel or something, but it was another week of searching and living like that until I finally spotted the car this morning in the parking lot,"

"Really? You spent two weeks looking for _us_?"

"Who else would I look for? Who else would help me out? I was alone, with barely any experience in this human world. I would've been homeless,"

"Oh,"

"Uh-huh, so when am I getting new clothes?"

"Tomorrow,"

"Okay, so what do I sleep in?"

"I'll give you a T-shirt of mine. I guess you can use Dean's sweats—"

"Okay thanks,"

"But it seems like Cas always uses them so—"

"I can't use yours, Sam,"

Sam snorted. "I know, short stuff. Are you wearing boxers?"

Gabriel glared at him. "Yeah,"

"Then you're gonna have to use those for a night," Sam shrugged.

They ate and talked about a lot of different things. They had more in common than Sam ever thought.

Once they finished eating, Sam took Gabriel to his room which was next to Dean's and across from Sam's and handed him a t-shirt.

"Thanks Sam,"

"No problem,"

"I'm excited to learn how to shoot a gun,"

"I'm excited to teach you, Dean always did the teaching. I only got one shot at it,"

"Wow, what a bad pun,"

"I wasn't trying to make a pun, Gabe," Sam crossed his arms, but smiled slightly.

Gabriel snickered. "Night,"

"Good night,"

Sam caught himself smiling like an idiot leaving Gabriel's room. He really needed more friends if he was this giddy after handing out with the archangel that killed his brother over 100 times. I guess it was more of the fact that Sam was happy he was alive. He understood Gabriel and Gabriel understood him. Sam was pretty bummed when he died, especially the way he died, and had forgiven him for killing Dean long ago. Everything was moving forward in a seemingly pleasant direction.

Even if said direction was still laced with fallen angels and demons and Abaddon.

/

**HOHOHO SAMMY AND GABRIEL~ I HAD TOO OKAY IT WORKS IN WITH THE STORY TO BRING GABEY BACK**

**ANYWAY, DO YOU LIKE THE FACT I ALLUDED TO ADAM BUT NO ONE CARED? JUST LIKE THE SHOW! That's really too evil…BUT OH WELL**

**I HOPE YOU ENJOYED EVEN THO I FEEL LIKE I WAS A BIT LAZY ON THIS ONE SORRY I HAVE WORK TO DO IN UNI :(**

**I LOVE YOU READERS/REVIEWERS!**


	14. An Old Game of Circles

_**Fallen**_

_**Chapter 14: An Old Game of Circles**_

Waking up startled Gabriel—it always kind of had since the fall—but more so today. Brief images of hands and touches and _Sam_ before he woke. And Gabriel woke up with morning wood.

Gabriel wasn't stupid, and he knows enough about humans and human culture to know what a crush was. And he had developed one toward fucking Sam Winchester, enough of one to give him _morning wood_. At least Gabriel knew how to take care of that—and he was totally _not_ thinking of Sam or his wet dream.

Sam knocked on his door no later, giving him some clothes of Cas's.

"Thanks,"

"It's only until we get you new ones. We'll leave after breakfast, which I'll help you make,"

"Ugh, I hate cooking,"

"That's because you suck at it," Sam smirked.

"Whatever,"

Sam chuckled. "Just meet me in the kitchen,"

Gabriel grumbled to himself about 'stupid Sam' as he dressed. He knew Sam didn't like him like that, there was no way. He was stupid and he tried to will his lingering feelings toward the hunter away. He doubted even his grace could do that much. He joined Sam in the kitchen.

"Finally, Princess needs time to freshen up, huh?"

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever gigantor. Let's start breakfast,"

After almost burning the eggs by fiddling with the heat setting even though Sam said not to, Gabriel was still a bit grumpy. Which was _hilarious_ to Sam.

"You didn't do too bad making eggs," Sam commented.

"I almost burned them. They taste horrible," Gabriel nearly whined.

Sam snorted. "You should've listened to me then,"

"Yeah, yeah, _master_ of the kitchen,"

Sam laughed. "Seriously, they're not bad. I've eaten worse,"

"Why are you even eating them anyway?"

"It would be wasteful to throw them away, not to mention rude,"

Gabriel smirked. "Aw, Sam cares about my feelings. I'm so touched,"

Sam rolled his eyes. "It just kinda reminds me of my childhood. Dean cooked for me y'know. Didn't always do the best job, especially when we were really young,"

Gabriel tried to hide his genuine interest. "Well, that's something then,"

"Hurry up and finish, we're getting you some clothes,"

"Right,"

Sam and Gabriel headed out to do some clothes shopping, which mostly consisted of Gabriel's not-so-subtle approach to flirting with Sam. _Blatantly _(like, it was so overdone it was only conceivable to think it was a joke) in order to deal with his newly found feelings for the younger Winchester.

"Hey, do these make my butt look big?"

Sam bitch face #5. "Shut the fuck up, Gabe,"

"Really! Is my ass really attractive in these?"

Sam groaned. "Seriously?"

"Don't be like that Sammy boy,"

"Don't call me that,"

Gabe smirked. "How about babe? Is that good?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "No,"

"Aw, come on _babe_,"

"_Gabriel,_"

"Okay, okay,"

But Sam managed to come home—albeit annoyed—with Gabriel and his new wardrobe which basically consisted of hunter-esque attire from plaid shirts to regular denim jeans. Sam really didn't put too much effort in helping Gabe, since he was so accustomed to actually changing clothes, but that didn't mean he wasn't a pain in the ass. Sam was pretty annoyed at Gabriel's flirting, but it somehow wasn't that weird. Sam was actually panicking a little because of the way his body reacted to Gabriel calling him_ babe_. Maybe he just needed to get laid. _Oh god_, now he was thinking like Dean. It was probably just the attention. That's all Sam liked. _Yeah, the attention_.

/

Ever since Dean and Castiel have been inseparable, Sam was pretty much stuck with Gabriel's company. Not to say that he didn't enjoy Gabriel's company, but after helping Gabriel with _human things_ he found that Gabriel seemed to pal around him. It was fine, but he was getting a bit freaked out about _how_ fine it really was. How nice. _Really_ nice. Gabriel and Sam actually had a lot in common besides being younger brothers with similar experiences. That just helped them understand each other and connect more.

They would sit on the couch together and watch movies in the section of the bunker with a freakin' TV (Sam really couldn't believe Dean actually bought one of those things) and most of the time Dean and Cas would join them. They, of course, took the love seat while Sam and Gabriel occupied the larger couch.

"I called Charlie, and she has time to come over tomorrow. What do you guys wanna watch today?" Dean rubbed his hands together as he sat next to Cas.

"Hm, I'm gonna go with this one," Gabriel picked up a random DVD that read _Holes_.

"Seriously? That's a fucking kids movie,"

"Come on Dean, it doesn't look too bad," Sam added.

"We haven't seen it yet, we should at least give it a chance," Cas nodded.

"Fine," Dean grumbled.

The movie was actually pretty enjoyable for the four of them and they were even poking fun at Sam since the onion man had the same name. It was during the part when the crazy Texans were trashing Miss Katherine's schoolhouse and killed Sam that the mood changed. At least for Dean. He started tearing up while Castiel ran his hand through his hair, and Sam and Gabriel looked at each other.

"Sam, should we cuddle and cry during this scene?"

"I think we should, Gabe,"

They clutched each other in a hug and began to make exaggerate crying noises before bursting into laughter.

Dean glared at them. "Fuck you guys,"

Castiel kissed Dean and whispered, "They just needed an excuse to touch each other,"

Dean grinned. "Yeah, at my expense,"

"Oh Sam, don't cry!" Gabriel wiped fake tears as Sam fake sniffled.

"Oh, Gabe! It's just so sad! Poor Miss Katherine!"

"Here, let me hold you!"

Sam fake sobbed into his shoulder as Gabriel rocked them back and forth.

"Yeah okay I get it. I'm a fucking baby and Cas rocks me like one,"

They were all giggles.

Dean turned to Cas with a scowl. "Your brother infected my brother,"

"Well if Sam wasn't so easy to infect—"

"Cas!"

"You know what I mean, love,"

"God, you guys," Gabe rolled his eyes.

"You're the one on Sam's lap when you got the whole couch to sit on," Dean retorted.

"That I am,"

Sam groaned. "Gabe, come on,"

Gabriel went back to sitting on the couch. "We were just fooling around,"

Dean snorted. "Yeah, whatever you say,"

/

To say Gabriel was completely fine being human, that he didn't have as much on his conscious than other angels was an understatement. A complete fucking understatement. Gabriel has his own fears, his haunting past, and that would be enough to cause him to wake up in the middle of the night screaming. His two brothers are in the pit, and the other dead, and the rest human. His father left, his family was fighting, he left—all that pain still resided. His whole existence, from the beginning, everything he's experienced, should be too much for a human, too much for human emotions to comprehend or handle.

So of course he'll have some bad days. Bad days that consist of him not being the happy-go-lucky trickster, laughing and smiling all the time. And everyone would notice the obvious change in demeanor, which was especially annoying. More so when it was Sam, the caring and touchy-feely Winchester who wanted to help.

Gabriel was feeling sad and hopeless and just _horrible_ after thinking about Lucifer killing him. It wasn't really _him_, but Lucifer didn't know that, and killed him all the same. He killed his own brother, one of the brothers he was closest with, all for the sake of getting his way. What was he even worth to the brothers he loved so much? Maybe they _were_ all dicks with wings.

He sulked to the kitchen where he made himself a bowl of cereal and saw Sam sitting at the counter, enjoying his own bowl.

"You okay?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "What do you care?"

Sam sighed. "I care because you seem down. I've never seen you look so sad,"

Gabriel looked away as he sat down beside him. "It's nothing,"

"It's obviously not _nothing_,"

Gabriel stared into his bowl of cereal. "How do you humans deal with all these feelings? And you and Dean have gone through so much—how the hell can you deal with the pain?"

Sam flinched at the sudden intensity of the questions. "I-I dunno. We deal with it in our own ways. Dean tends to lean toward alcohol and I try to deal with it in healthier ways, but sometimes I just end up bottling it all up. So does Dean,"

"Wow, you guys must give the worst advice,"

Sam rolled his eyes. "We're trying to do better. We _talk_. Now tell me, what're you thinking about? Your family? Lucifer killing you?"

Gabriel flinched and stared at Sam with tired eyes.

"Hit the nail on the head, huh?"

He turned his attention to his barely touched cereal again.

"Look Gabe, I just want to help,"

"I don't need your help,"

"That's just how you feel right now,"

"How you could possibly try to help me? You don't understand how it feels to be totally discarded by your family. I left them, I couldn't take what they were doing. I was a coward and wanted us to go back to how it was and should be. They didn't even notice I was gone at first. Do you understand how horrible that is? And all I did was indulge myself in whatever I wanted. And Lucifer, he killed me—what he thought was me at least—without a second thought. All for some big plan he had that was going to fail. Fail by fuckin' _prophecy_. Totally _loved_ by my family, and don't get me started on Father. Where did he go? Is he even alive? I wanted to be with him,"

Sam stared at him for a second, taking it all in. "Gabriel, I understand. I left my family, too y'know. I left for Stanford, and what do you think Dean did in the presence of my dad? Absolutely nothing. He was still the little soldier and just passively stood by as I left. I thought my dad hated me, and he was half of my family. And y'know, my father left us, too, to go on his revenge run. We were alone most of the time in nasty motels. At the time he really left us, I wanted a part of that so badly, but I look back and see that would've been a mistake,"

Gabriel stared at Sam, noticing how the reminiscing was affecting him. He _did_ understand, and they have more in common than Gabriel ever thought. Was it possible to fall any_ harder_ for this man? He desperately wanted to kiss him right then and there. _Dammit Sam, why are you so straight?_

"Anyway, my point is, you gotta talk to people. It helps to do that."

"Thanks Sam," And did Gabriel mean it.

"Don't mention it,"

The discussion really hit a nerve with Sam. He could feel himself slowly warming to Gabriel's presence. But it wasn't in a friendly way. It ran deeper than that. Like how Sam would notice how Gabriel's eyes were fucking gold in good lighting and lit up when he was happy. The way he smirked when he was going to purposely bother Sam. The little things added up and they aren't things you notice about someone you're buddies with. They are things you notice about people you're attracted to. Was Sam attracted to Gabriel? But he wasn't gay, right? But there was Dean who slept with women his whole life who is now balls deep in Castiel (and wow, did he just really think that?). God, was it time to talk to Dean about this?

It was. Later in the day, Sam found Dean sitting in the main room alone. It was now or never.

"Hey Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Cas around?"

"He and Gabriel went to the store," Dean looked at Sam expectantly, "Something on your mind?"

"Uh, yeah,"

"You had that face on. What's going on?"

"I was just gonna ask about Cas,"

"What about Cas?"

"Like, I imagine you had a gay freak-out,"

"That's what you wanna talk about? My _gay freak-out_? Dammit Sam—"

"I just wanna know, okay? Like, what are you?"

"You mean my sexuality?"

"Yeah,"

"I'm still pretty straight I think," Dean thought a bit. "Like, Cas is the only one. I mean, not that I haven't really, uh, looked at other guys or anything after I knew I was attracted to Cas, but it didn't have an effect,"

"Oh, so Cas is really special to you,"

"I slowly fell in love with him. I mean, I thought about it a lot, like when he was an angel he technically didn't have a gender, but y'know, I didn't have the balls to do anything until recently,"

"Wow that's cheesy,"

"Shut up! Okay, maybe," Dean smirked at Sam, "but I figure this isn't about me,"

"What? No, I'm just curious—"

Dean chuckled. "Dude, you wouldn't have cared this much unless you got something out of it. I mean, you haven't asked since you found out. Why now?"

Sam swallowed. "I—uh—the timing wasn't right?"

"Is it Gabriel?"

Sam flinched. "N-no! No, it's not—I—"

"You _know_ you can't lie to me Sammy,"

Sam sighed. "Okay, okay, I think I, uh, like him,"

Dean smiled. "I totally called it,"

"What?"

"Dude, you've got a classic crush—you never shut up about him and the way you look at him,"

"How I _look _at him?"

"Yeah, like you're the happiest in the world that he's hanging with you,"

"I look at him like _that_?"

"Yeah, you do. Man, I gotta tell you, I knew you had a little gay in you,"

"Ha, ha, Dean. You're the one who's getting banged by Cas,"

"Yeah, yeah, doesn't make you any less attracted to Gabe,"

"Okay, I'll admit it. I just—I don't know what to do. Like, should I tell him?"

"Dude, Gabriel's attached to you,"

"Attached enough to not just take off when he gets his grace back? I don't think so. I can't deal with that Dean, you know that. I've given up too many people,"

"I know Sammy, I'm sorry you had to. But I don't know if he would or wouldn't. I don't know what to tell you. If you don't wanna make a move, that's your call. I mean, look at me. How long did it take for_ me_ to make a damn move? Probably _too_ damn long,"

"Thanks Dean,"

"Hey, no problem. We're brothers, that's what we do,"

/

**OKAY SO I KNOW SEASON 9 IS OUT AND I JUST WANNA SAY I AM HONORED TO HAVE GUESSED SAM WAS IN A COMA AND WOW HOW MUCH PAIN THAT'S CAUSED ME GEEZ I'M LIKE ALLERGIC TO PAIN FOR MY BABIES SO MY WRITING IS WAY TOO HAPPY I'M SORRY I MIGHT TRY TO ADD LESS HAPPINESS BUT I LOVE HAPPINESS SO YEAH JUST ENJOY THE HAPPINESS WHILE IT LASTS HAHA I LOVE YOU ALL READERS AND REVIEWERS JUST KEEP ON KEEPING ON :D**

**~rockleah**


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